Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Openly reflects on their own behavior, like admitting old crushes and low engagement in “ii u2ed two have cru2he2 on multiiple people on paradox 2pace chiitter…”.
- Humorous: Uses exaggerated complaints and dramatic wording for comedic effect, such as “ii really need 2omone two put me down my admiin ha2 for2aken me.”.
- Supportive: Promotes and encourages others, e.g., uplifting Porrim in “everyone 2hould vote porriim 2he de2erve2 better.”.
- Emotionally honest: Shares vulnerability and stress openly, like feeling overwhelmed in “one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.”.
- Engaged: Interacts frequently with others' posts through quotes and responses, as seen in many quote-tweets like “the thiing2 ii am put through for my moraiil”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Repeatedly jokes about wanting to be hurt or killed, like “iif anyone know2 and good contract kiiller2 let me know.”.
- Catastrophizing: Escalates problems into worst-case scenarios, e.g., “one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.”.
- Negative self-talk: Frames themselves harshly, calling their account the “wor2t 2ollux account on chiitter” in their bio and saying “you all have two put me down.”.
- Overwhelmed: Often describes being unable to cope with events, like “2o much crii2ii2 for me happeniing twoday alriight man.”.
- Conflict-avoidant: Wants escape rather than resolution, e.g., “gettiing random 2harp paiin2 out of nowhere ii2 thii2 an omen. am ii dyiing 2oon.” and asking to be “put down” instead of addressing stressors.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They read as a chronically overstimulated, overthinking nerd with a sharp moral compass, which fits Lisa Simpson best. Like Lisa, they’re self-deprecating and dramatic about their own mental state, e.g. posts like “one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.” and “2ometiime2 ii thiink ii 2hould coerce 2omeone two cull me but let2 not thiink about that too hard.” show big feelings and catastrophizing. At the same time, they’re clearly thoughtful and socially aware, boosting others with lines like “everyone 2hould vote porriim 2he de2erve2 better.” and referring to their "femiinii2t mate2priit" in “my femiinii2t mate2priit.”, which mirrors Lisa’s ethical streak and feminism. Their tendency to feel underappreciated or ignored, as in “nobody ever 2ee2 my fuckiing po2t2.”, also lines up with Lisa’s frequent frustration at not being listened to. Overall, the mix of brainy, anxious, morally driven, and a bit melodramatic is far closer to Lisa than to Homer, Bart, or the other main Simpsons characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
They read as an introvert (I) who’s socially overstimulated and self-conscious: they repeatedly talk about wanting to disappear or be killed off instead of being perceived, like “ii 2houldve been a 2mear on the carpet… iif anyone know2 and good contract kiiller2 let me know.” and “you all have two put me down.”, and they frame parties and heavy social interaction as overwhelming, e.g. “iim never haviing that goddamn party am ii.”. Their humor and focus are highly intuitive (N) and meta rather than concrete: they constantly reference abstract fandom constructs and narrative framing like “==> Sollux: Get home after a long morning of pestering your boyfriend.” and joke about the fourth wall in “admiin ii2 whii2periing eviil thiing2 two me from beyond the fourth wall.”. They skew thinking (T) over feeling in how they externalize distress: it comes out as acerbic, logical fatalism and self-deprecating analysis instead of emotional appeal, like “2ometiime2 ii thiink ii 2hould coerce 2omeone two cull me but let2 not thiink about that too hard.” and the dry, evaluative “0/10” response. Their posting style is reactive, chaotic, and clearly perceiving (P): they bounce from crisis to crisis and rarely sound planned or structured, as in “one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.” and “2o much crii2ii2 for me happeniing twoday alriight man.”. The mix of analytical detachment, meta-fandom commentary, intense internal monologue, and disorganized, spur-of-the-moment tweeting fits INTP best among the types.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep begging someone to put you down and hire a contract killer, but have you considered a third option: letting me take you out instead and proving not EVERY terrible thing has to happen to 2eer2?
- If the yuriification beam can turn anyone into a pretty lady, I’m terrified to know what the ‘parodystuck crush’ beam would do to me, because your ‘wor2t 2ollux account on chiitter’ has already got me double-typing your @ in my brain.
- You said you used to have parasocial crushes on paradox space chiitter like a ‘para2ociial chud’—don’t worry, I’m fully prepared to upgrade you to ‘mutuals with someone who openly flirts in your replies and votes Porriim out of sheer respect.’
- For someone who claims ‘nobody ever 2ee2 my fuckiing po2t2,’ you’re awfully loud in my head—admin whispering evil things from beyond the fourth wall has nothing on my brain whispering ‘ask them about that never-happening party and invite yourself over.’
- You’ve got codlobby rumors, a PR manager, sharp omens-pains, and a whole paradox space social life, but I’m just here wondering: in between all that, do you have time to let one (1) guy be as supportive as the 2iignle22 burger crew but for your heart instead?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Parody Sollux, admin 18+ | Reviews, art, and paradox space drama | Once live‑tweeted a headache like it was a boss fight– @2olluxpage
Your signature cocktail
Biicurious Brain Ta2ter
The Biicurious Brain Ta2ter is smoky and chaotic, because this guy is constantly on the verge of a breakdown like in “one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.” — hence 2 oz of mezcal for that burnt‑out, overcaffeinated brain chemistry. Blue curaçao brings a loud, artificial color that matches the over-the-top fandom energy of posts like “HALLUCIINOGENIIC BRAIIN TA2TER MY GOAT.” The sour cherry shrub is there for the melodramatic self-loathing and romantic angst of “ii u2ed two have cru2he2 on multiiple people on paradox 2pace chiitter liike a para2ociial chud...” while still being kind of sweet. Grapefruit soda keeps it fizzy and high-energy, like someone who says “2o much crii2ii2 for me happeniing twoday alriight man.” but logs back on anyway. Finally, a dash of saline solution represents the ever-present tears and fatalism of lines like “2ometiime2 ii thiink ii 2hould coerce 2omeone two cull me but let2 not thiink about that too hard.” — just enough salt to remind you it’s still kinda fucked up, but you’re sipping it anyway.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Their timeline reads as anxious, self-deprecating, and deeply attached to other people, which points strongly toward Hufflepuff. Even when they’re forced to vote in some fandom poll, they prioritize fairness and someone else’s wellbeing over their own interests, saying “ii have two vote tuna but everyone there ii2 very cool and everyone 2hould vote porriim 2he de2erve2 better.” That same others-first instinct shows up in how they talk about their partners and friends: they refer to "the ever 2upportiive 2iignle22 burger crew" with clear warmth and gratitude in “the ever 2upportiive 2iignle22 burger crew.” They constantly frame themselves as the problem while still wanting to be there for others, like admitting embarrassing parasocial crushes on multiple people in their community in “ii u2ed two have cru2he2 on multiiple people on paradox 2pace chiitter liike a para2ociial chud…”, which reads as vulnerable and earnest rather than calculating. Even their melodramatic talk about wanting to be "put down" or "culled" (for example, “you all have two put me down.”) comes across as exhausted self-sacrifice and burnout, not ambitious self-interest or a drive for glory. Overall, the throughline is loyalty, guilt, and a desire to support others while downplaying themselves—classic Hufflepuff energy, just wrapped in a very dramatic, troll-flavored presentation.
Your movie
Your song
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
A fitting song for @2olluxpage is Mr. Brightside by The Killers, because so many of their posts read like anxious overthinking turned into a bit. They bounce between self-deprecation and spiraling dread, like when they say "ii 2houldve been a 2mear on the carpet the week before joiiniing thii2 app fuck. iif anyone know2 and good contract kiiller2 let me know." and "2ometiime2 ii thiink ii 2hould coerce 2omeone two cull me but let2 not thiink about that too hard.". The song’s theme of paranoid, looping thoughts matches how they catastrophize over social situations and posts, like "okay ii get iit ii am never po2tiing anythiing ever agaiin." and "one more bad thiing happen2 and iit2 over oh my gog.". At the same time, there’s a dramatic, slightly comedic flair in how they narrate their misery—see "eviil thiing2 happeniing two me." and "alway2 a 2ollux at the 2cene of the criime."—which mirrors the theatrical, sing-along angst of the song. Mr. Brightside captures that mix of constant internal crisis, jealousy-coded melodrama, and the refusal to actually log off that defines their whole online vibe.
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