
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Their mix of chaotic humor, sexual shock value, and self-destructive tendencies fits Bart Simpson the best. Like Bart, they use outrageous, transgressive jokes as armor, e.g. openly thirsting with lines like “If right now I recieved a dollar for getting fucked with an tentacle strap on by every single girl who was mean to me in my life, I would refuse the money and do it for free” and teasing moots with “Guys I dare you to goon to me😃”. Their dark, self-harming edge mirrors Bart’s canon self-destructiveness, seen when they say “Guys cutting myself doesn’t relieve anything anymore, I am so sad” and treat it almost casually with “Small sesh bc I got my rzors back!”. Underneath the bravado, though, there’s insecurity and a craving for validation, like when they confess “Serious talk, I wish I was pretty and people saw it that way” and worry about being seen as fat in “Guys please be honest do my feet look fat?”. The combination of irreverent, horny class-clown energy with real emotional pain and stunted adulthood—explicit in hashtags like “I look like this and I am still on shedtwt😍😍 #peterpansyndrome”—is very Bart: permanently stuck between kid-brain mischief and the weight of grown-up problems.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extrovert (E): they constantly seek interaction, validation, and attention, e.g. asking moots to engage, do challenges, or confess things: “If any of you have a dumb secret or confession to make this is a safe space to do it” and “Moots or anyone without your irl names on your profile, comment and I’ll tell you what name you suit”. Despite social anxiety, they crave social contact, attention and feedback, like “Guys I just applied to two jobs who proud of me😍” and sexual/validation-seeking posts such as “Guys I dare you to goon to me😃”. They fit Intuition (N) because they’re abstract, imaginative, and metaphorical; they’re constantly turning experiences into concepts, jokes, and fantasies, like “Odd requirements to be my competition thinspo” or the surreal humour of “Guys do you remember back in 2024 when we all used to get our best friend’s dad and binge his jizz and then purge it with the same dick it came out of”, and they question patterns such as “Calories are so fake like how are people skinny and eating what they want the calculations really don’t come”. They are strongly Feeling (F): their posts are saturated with insecurity, emotional needs, and relational focus—worrying about being pretty, loved, or validated, e.g. “Serious talk, I wish I was pretty and people saw it that way” and “I am so unaware of my emotions that recovery isn’t possible”—and they frame decisions through emotional distress and self-worth rather than logic. They show Perceiving (P) traits in their impulsive behaviour, chaotic humour, and difficulty sticking to plans—swinging between intentions and impulses: planning hair for the year in a playful, non-rigid way “DAE like plan the rest of their year for their hair?”, joking about failing tests “Me cuz I keep failing my test😍”, and openly struggling with consistency in eating and self-harm patterns “Guys how do you fall in love again with having an ED?”. Overall, the combination of attention-seeking yet anxious sociability, highly creative and absurd humour, intense emotional volatility, and loose/impulsive lifestyle fits ENFP better than other types.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
20 • he/him • Barcelona-based shoe nerd & bleach enthusiast. Once bricked an old iPad for fun, now trying to unbrick my life and career plans.– @4flipsiderecord

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is wired like their timeline: caffeinated, chaotic, and a little too horny for its own good, hence the blue energy drink base and vodka, inspired by their ‘Old Money Starboy Quiet Luxury Lifestyle Table Aesthetic’ flex and constant Monster mentions like “My lock in breakfast is ready for me to not binge tomorrow: 30g of oats… a zero sugar Monster”. The blue comes straight from their Bonnie Blue obsession in “I’m becoming skinny in february with the Bonnie Blue diet🪷🪽🌅💙🩵”, turning stan energy into a fizzy, neon color. Salted caramel adds a sweet–salty kink-coded note, echoing their delightfully unhinged sexual posts like “If right now I recieved a dollar for getting fucked with an tentacle strap on by every single girl… I would refuse the money and do it for free #submen”. The lemon bitters mist is that sharp, self-aware sting of humor and self-hate seen in “Sorry this rauchy humour saga I’m having this week is actually frying me up I’m so incredibly funny what a shame I have the brain of a donkey and the body of a whale”. Finally, the fluffy whipped cream cloud with cocoa dust hides the darker themes of edtwt and self-harm behind something cute and aesthetic, mirroring the contrast between posts like “Guys cutting myself doesn’t relieve anything anymore, I am so sad” and their playful, over-sharing persona in “I need to start acting like an adult and not post utter crap on the internet😭😭”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a strongly analytical, self-reflective streak that fits Ravenclaw best. They obsessively compare bodies and BMIs and explicitly ask others to evaluate data with them, as in “PLEASE ANSWER like how similar does the first guy’s body look to mine bc I thought our BMIs were similar but they’re wildly different”, which is less about emotion and more about scrutinizing details. They also display a lot of curiosity and desire to understand patterns in people, asking questions like “What hobbie have you took up to replace boredom eating?” and “what kind of person were you all when you were a child/tween at school?”, treating their timeline like a social lab. Their humor is cerebral, layered, and often meta, such as “Calories are so fake like how are people skinny and eating what they want the calculations really don’t come” and the long, absurd sexual/ED riffs like “Guys do you remember back in 2024 when we all used to get our best friend’s dad and binge his jizz and then purge it with the same dick it came out of”, which rely on wit and wordplay rather than straightforward bravado. They frequently reflect on their own behavior and digital footprint (e.g. “Sometimes I forget that digital footprints exist and that I could be turned down from a job in 2038 because I said I wanted to nibble on a sweaty big toe”), showing a meta-awareness typical of Ravenclaw introspection. While there is some Slytherin-esque fixation on competition thinspo and image, the dominant pattern is intellectualized, curious, self-analytical commentary, making Ravenclaw the best fit.

Your movie

Your song
A well-suited song for them is Teen Idle by MARINA, which captures messy coming-of-age, self-destructive glamour, and dark humor about body image and validation. They constantly joke about their ED and body while craving thinness and prettiness, like when they say they want to go from BMI 19 to 16 to feel valid: “I can go from BMI 19 to BMI 16 before April 26th? I’d love to enter with 21st year of life feeling like I am valid” and “Serious talk, I wish I was pretty and people saw it that way. I mean I wish I was pretty enough to be seen as cute by someone on the streets.”. The song’s themes of wanting a more beautiful, dramatic youth line up with their mourning of not being on edtwt earlier: “It is so weird to say that I mourn for not having been in edtwt in 2020… Y’all I was only 15 fml I could have been 90lb💔”. Their mix of self-hate, theatrical oversharing, and morbid humor about self-harm and sex, like “Guys cutting myself doesn’t relieve anything anymore, I am so sad” and “Sorry this rauchy humour saga I’m having this week is actually frying me up I’m so incredibly funny what a shame I have the brain of a donkey and the body of a whale”, fits the song’s contrast between nihilism and campy drama. Even their fixation on online aesthetics and performance, such as “I love edtwt specially when we take screenshots of other apps and post them on here it feels exactly the same as sitting for lunch in middle school while scrolling through tik tok”, matches Teen Idle’s vibe of watching your own life like a performance and wishing it were prettier, thinner, and more legendary than it really is.

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