
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially a darker, more depressed version of her. Like Lisa, they’re intelligent, self-analytical, and critical of systems around them, calling out medical professionals and their logic in tweets like “Oh of course, the medical issues I'm experiencing are totally because I'm almost underweight! Just ignore the fact that I was gaining a significant amount during the time it was worsening!”. They show strong introspection about mental health and family dynamics, as in “My mother had struggled with an ed… And yet I still have an ed partially bc of her.”, which echoes Lisa’s complicated but thoughtful relationship with her parents. Their combination of genuine care and frustration with others, seen in “your loved ones aren't trying to sabotage you they are worried about you and don't know how to help”, mirrors Lisa’s mix of empathy and exasperation. Finally, their boredom, isolation, and sense of not fitting in socially, expressed in “being depressed is so annoying… I'm also so damn bored all the time” and “I have unrealistic fantasies like having irl friends…”, align with Lisa’s recurring feelings of loneliness and being misunderstood despite her insight and talents.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean strongly Introvert: they describe being a shut-in and extreme boredom at home (“What am I meant to do all day I am so bored”), having no IRL friends or having not seen their one friend all year (“I have not seen my one and only friend all year”), and social anxiety leading to suicidal jokes as a coping mechanism (“every time I get anxiety over something social… I quite literally just say 'kills myself'”). Their thinking is more Intuitive than Sensing: they frequently spiral into abstract self-concepts and fantasies (“I have unrealistic fantasies like having irl friends, successfully reaching and maintaining bmi 13…”) and question broader patterns, like media body standards and kids’ shows (“Why are so many of the characters in shows aimed at kids so thin..”). They appear Feeling-dominant: values and emotions drive most reactions, such as anger at people bullying self-harmers because they “don’t get it” (“it's insane to me how normaltwt just straight up bullies people who cut because they don't get it”), intense guilt about privilege (“so many people are suffering and all I can do is cry over everything that isn't going right”), and empathy for thin people being invalidated (“GOD FORBID someone is insecure or struggling with something you wish you had...”). On the Perceiving side, they show difficulty with structure and follow-through—frequent boredom, sleep issues, and changing food/fasting plans (“I'm gonna fast okay I'm gonna omad… okay I feel sick I'm gonna eat something else FUCK I GAINED”)—and procrastination like intentionally sleeping through a doctor’s appointment to avoid being weighed (“I intentionally slept through my drs appointment because I was NOT having a good day and did NOTT want to be weighed”). Taken together—intense inner emotional life, idealism, self-critical fantasies, and avoidance of external structure—an INFP profile fits best.

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Your new Twitter bio
17 • he/him • professionally overthinking calories and cartoons • once mixed vitamin D with gum and now labels everything twice– @__gloomurai

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is a jittery little shut‑in of a drink: mostly caffeine and coping, like turning every social panic into a joke about death in tweets such as “every time I get anxiety over something social or remember an embarrassing thing I did I quite literally just say 'kills myself' and suddenly I feels better”. Coffee liqueur mirrors their perpetual exhaustion and late‑night boredom, echoing “being depressed is so annoying... I'm also so damn bored all the time”. Vodka stands for the blunt, sometimes self-destructive edge in posts like “suicide is the cure for anxiety” and “I want to take all of my meds at once”. Oat milk softens everything, nodding to the quiet care they show themselves and others in moments like “and today I cleaned my room, I am still just as suicidal but I am proud of myself” and “your loved ones aren't trying to sabotage you they are worried about you”. Black cocoa syrup captures the dark, obsessive ED/sh content, from “I have unrealistic fantasies like having irl friends, successfully reaching and maintaining bmi 13” to “Merry new year I completed 190 16hr+ fasts during 2025”. The pinch of sea salt is for their sharp, salty humor about food and bodies, as in “'that's a lot of food' stfu it's 300kcal for my dinner I think I'll be fine thanks go eat dirt” and the disgust at hypersexual food ads in “I do NOT want to have what I'm watching interrupted by someone moaning over a burger”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a very analytical, self-observant way of thinking that aligns strongly with Ravenclaw. For example, they break down their own intake mathematically in “i decided to add the calories of everything I ate over 2 weeks and then divided it by 14 and apparently I ate the equivalent of 1340kcal per day” and even experiment with cognitive tricks like “trying to break down why I'm craving something actually helps so much... 'Drink water/eat an apple then see if you still want it' sounds so dumb but it does in fact work”. They also question and dissect ideas around medicine and health in a very critical way, such as “Oh of course, the medical issues I'm experiencing are totally because I'm almost underweight!... Gain weight & eat well > periods stop > 'your weight is definitely the issue here!'”. There’s a clear pattern of introspective analysis about their own disorders and environment, like “I made an account on here because of someone I thought was cool + sh... what was once ARFID and not eating because I'm depressed, is now EDNOS and eating because I'm depressed. I fear I made a terrible decision”, which shows metacognition and self-scrutiny. On top of that, they show a creative streak and interest in improvement in art, as in “I'm definitely not the best at art but like it's pretty cool how much you can improve in a short amount of time even when you're barely drawing” and “I've done it I've beaten artblock... I have ideas and I must draw”. While there are flashes of Slytherin-style competitiveness (“I need to weigh less than the majority of the people on here who I do not like”), the dominant traits are intellectualization, overthinking, and creativity, which fit Ravenclaw best.

Your movie

Your song
MARINA’s Teen Idle fits them because it captures being a lonely, self-destructive teenager who feels like they’re wasting their youth and failing at some imaginary standard. They talk openly about suicidal thoughts and using them as a coping mechanism, like “suicide is the cure for anxiety” and “I just woke up to the most realistic hallucinations ever and couldn't move wtf”, which matches the song’s fixation on death and detachment. Their struggles with eating and body image (“this disorder is actually so fu king stuoid I was convinced I reached a heathy weight but came to find I still weighed in as underweight fully clothes (+boots)”, “I have unrealistic fantasies like having irl friends, successfully reaching and maintaining bmi 13”) echo the song’s obsession with appearance, self-harm, and not feeling ‘good enough.’ They’re also hyper-aware of being 17 and on the edge of adulthood, saying “wtf do you mean I'm nearly an young adult that isn't okay”, which lines up with the song’s tension between adolescence and adulthood. Even their dark humour and boredom (“being depressed is so annoying… I'm also so damn bored all the time”) resonate with the song’s mix of nihilism, irony, and longing for a different life.

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