Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Financial Responsibility: He uses credit cards as a “strategic tool” to organize his finances and avoids cash.
- Animal Lover: He shows deep affection for pets, caring for “15 cats” and expressing empathy for their “perspectives”.
- Self-Awareness: He is honest about his physical attributes, openly stating his “height” and his place among the “3% who are unattractive”.
- Work Ethic: Despite personal struggles, he maintains his “job at a store” and shows appreciation for “supportive management”.
- Healthy Boundaries: He is clear about his “preferences” and doesn't tolerate others “shaming users” for what they post on their own profiles.
Weaknesses:
- Low Self-Esteem: He struggles with constant self-criticism, noting that for him “nothing is ever good enough”.
- Social Anxiety: He admits to “hiding in the bathroom” to avoid social interactions during events.
- Persistent Pessimism: He frequently expresses a bleak outlook, stating “it’s impossible to get excited about anything”.
- Extreme Loneliness: He feels dejected about his single status, describing attending a friend's party “alone” as depressing.
- Suicidal Ideation: He makes dark jokes or references to “suicide” and “killing his depression” when overwhelmed.
Your Simpsons character
Moe Szyslak
Nico shares Moe’s trademark combination of deep-seated loneliness and a cynical, self-deprecating sense of humor. He frequently posts about his struggles with mental health, asking “será que eu consigo matar a depressão” and admitting “eu já sou sozinho mesmo” while watching others find romance. Like the bartender, Nico is blunt about his self-image, stating he is “dos 3% que sabem que são feinhos” and lamenting how his height makes him look like a “botijao de gás com capinha” in certain clothes. Despite the gloom, he possesses a hidden soft side, specifically for animals, noting he has “15 gatos em casa” and would “morreria por ele” when seeing a cute pet.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Nico exhibits strong Introversion (I), frequently tweeting about being alone, such as being “hidden from social interactions in the bathroom”. His focus leans toward Intuition (N) through abstract reflections on his 'character' and identity, as well as imaginative thoughts about “what cats think” when picked up by giants. He is a clear Feeling (F) type, openly sharing his struggles with sadness, his deep love for animals—noting he would “die for him” regarding a pet—and his empathetic, self-critical nature. Finally, his Perceiving (P) trait is visible in his spontaneous streaming habits and his struggle with self-imposed pressure, exemplified when he admits “for me it's never good enough and I always demand more of myself”.
Some pickup lines for you
- I may not be a 10g protein Lulu, but I promise I’m a lot more substantial—and I'd never look at you weirdly for wanting to carry me around.
- Are you a hidden staircase in Elden Ring? Because even though you're hard to find, discovering you is the only way I want to level up.
- I heard you’re the patron saint of matchmaking for everyone except yourself, so how about we break the cycle and let me be the 'right one' for you instead of the next guy?
- Since you’re already an expert at managing credit and a masterpiece Stardew farm, how about you let me invest in your heart? I promise the returns are better than a Pichau delivery.
- I’m not a giant, but I’d still love to pick you up like a kitten and take you away from the 'homenzinho' chores for a while.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Porto Alegre local and RE4 speedrunner. I’ve served in the army, built a 5-star Stardew farm, and once offended a Pomeranian by calculating its protein content.– @_h4rdtimes
Your signature cocktail
Short King’s Stardew Sour
This drink perfectly captures Nico’s blend of self-deprecating humor and cozy gamer vibes. The base spirit honors his 1.62m stature, as he jokes he “jamais vou poder usar um sobretudo sem parecer um botijao de gás”. While the Amaro reflects his battles with “matar a depressão”, the soft foam mirrors his love for felines and his “fazendinha do stardew valley”. Finally, the salty garnish is a tribute to his favorite part of a wedding: “enchendo o rabo de saguadinho”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Nico demonstrates the quintessential Hufflepuff trait of deep, unwavering devotion to those he cares for, stating he “would die for him” regarding a pet and noting that “when you have 15 cats at home, every day is cat day.” Despite his self-deprecating humor about being “almost unemployed and without a wife,” he values social harmony and fairness, criticizing those who are “fucking annoying” for judging others' posts. His humility and desire for simple companionship are evident when he admits to feeling “depressing” when alone by necessity rather than choice, further cementing his place in the house of loyalty and shared snacks.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
Nico's online presence is defined by a deep sense of self-deprecation and social alienation, mirroring the themes of unworthiness in Creep. He frequently identifies as an outsider, tweeting, “Eu sendo dos 3% que sabem que são feinhos” and expressing frustration over his height by noting he “jamais vou poder usar um sobretudo sem parecer um botijao de gás”. His struggle with depression and the feeling of being invisible in romantic contexts—seen when he says, “o foda que nenhuma nunca é pra mim pelo jeito”—aligns with the song's melancholic longing. Despite being “escondido das interações sociais no banheiro”, he maintains a sensitive appreciation for others, much like the song's narrator, making this 90s alternative anthem the perfect fit for his persona.
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