Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally-expressive: Openly shares feelings, from humor to distress, e.g. “tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade nos últimos tempos, mas definitivamente não sei elaborar”.
- Supportive-fan: Shows enthusiastic support for artists and media, like “vou injetar army dreamers na minha veia igual heroina” and “ouvindo a última da minha gêmea claire cottrill”.
- Affectionate-partner: Expresses love and pride in their relationship, as in “sou a maior fã do meu namorado”.
- Humorous-ironic: Uses sarcasm and absurd humor, e.g. “hoje a gente vai mandar um email pro papa joão paulo II” and “sou o oscar neymar”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on personal flaws and mental state, e.g. “meu cérebro é extremamente lento pra interações humanas” and “eu definitivamente queria ser um ser humano diferente”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh-language: Frequent use of insults and swearing toward others, like “COMO PODE SER UM BANDO DE VAGABUNDA TUDO AMIGA E UM BANDO DE OTARIO ATRÁS PUTA QUE PARIU”.
- Hostile-misandry: Expresses strong generalized hatred toward men, e.g. “o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito” and “o vontade de matar homem velho puta que pariu”.
- Self-deprecating: Talks very negatively about self-image and worth, as in “nossa se eu fosse assim me matava sem brincadeira nenhuma” and “eu tinha que ser burra né tinha que ser burra”.
- Low-patience: Shows quick irritation with people and situations, e.g. “to sem paciência pra vagabunda e pra virjao” and “PAREM DE CAGAR FEDIDO”.
- Emotional-overload: Frequently mentions not coping well, like “nao to tankando mais porra nenhuma” and “tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: sharp, self-aware, emotionally intense, and often disillusioned with other people. Like Lisa, they oscillate between feeling superior to and exhausted by others, as seen in tweets like "as vezes eu me acho meio vagabunda básica, mas ai eu vejo as reais vagabundas básicas e me sinto aliviada" and "seres humanos são desprezíveis e sempre arrumam um jeito de comparar uma desgraça pra diminuir a outra". There’s also a strong introspective, anxious streak—"tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade nos últimos tempos, mas definitivamente não sei elaborar" and "eu definitivamente queria ser um ser humano diferente"—which fits Lisa’s tendency toward existential crisis. Their niche/alternative media tastes (Kate Bush, Bauhaus, Hatsune Miku, MBV) and nerdy hobbies like D&D in "depois de jogar d&d minha alma voltou pro corpo" echo Lisa’s artsy, intellectual side. The anger at systemic and interpersonal stupidity, especially toward men in tweets like "o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito", also parallels Lisa’s often furious moralism and feminist edge when pushed too far.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): they often talk about their own internal state and low social energy rather than constant socializing, e.g. “tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade nos últimos tempos, mas definitivamente não sei elaborar” and “meu cérebro é extremamente lento pra interações humanas”, and prefer niche interests like D&D and specific music over broad social scenes. Their humor and interests show Intuition (N): they reference abstract feelings and aesthetics more than concrete facts, like “sou a linha de baixo seguida de violino de spartan army”, “gostaria de viver um eterno domingo”, and surreal dream descriptions in “só hoje sonhei que fugia de um assalto que um cavalo quebrou a perna e que tacavam pratos em mim”. They come across as strongly Feeling (F): many tweets are emotionally charged, about hurt and resentment, e.g. “eu odeio como eles sempre me tiram pra burra idiota lerda isso me deixa mal e tenho quase ctz que um dos meus problemas vem de ter ficado ouvindo isso a vida toda” and “eu definitivamente queria ser um ser humano diferente”, and they express intense moral/emotional reactions like “o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito”. Their lifestyle and tone suggest Perceiving (P): they seem spontaneous, chaotic, and resistant to rigid structure, as seen in “não sou mulher de academia, não vou mais”, “fiz merda e nem era a minha intenção fazer merda”, and the overall impulsive, stream‑of‑consciousness posting style. Putting this together, they fit INFP: a highly emotional, idealistic, internally-focused person with strong likes/dislikes (music, aesthetics, people), a rich inner world and imagination, sensitivity about being misunderstood, and a tendency toward spontaneity and venting rather than long-term structured planning.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’d inject “Army Dreamers” in your vein like heroin — I’m just saying, if you ever need someone to lie next to at 3 a.m. when My Bloody Valentine randomly starts playing again, I volunteer as your gothest Taubaté cuddle buddy.
- You: “killjoys kiss some boys.” Me: proudly applying for the position of ‘somebody’ from your “seeeeeeeexy to somebody” tweet, benefits including Hatsune Miku listening parties and Kate Bush worship sessions.
- You called yourself the prettiest goth in Taubaté and wondered if you’re pretty enough to pull off that look — honest answer? If you show up in red tights listening to Bauhaus, I’m falling in love before the bassline of “Spartan Army” even kicks in.
- You dreaming about fleeing a robbery, a horse breaking its leg, and people throwing plates at you… honestly feels like the perfect D&D one-shot. Let me be your chaotic party member and we can long-rest together after the session.
- Since you’re the biggest fan of your boyfriend and still want all men to suffer, I promise to meet you halfway: I’ll suffer willingly by re-listening to that “musica chata do caralho” on loop, as long as I get to complain about it with you on an eternal Sunday over miojo.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
19 • enby • part-time goth, full-time oversharer. Once woke up at 3am to My Bloody Valentine & decided that was a personality trait.– @_midwestmiku
Your signature cocktail
Whatever, Forever Negroni (Vagabunda Edition)
This drink is a moody, smoky twist on a classic—strong, slightly bitter, and a little chaotic, just like the timeline of someone who tweets “whatever, forever” in their bio energy and screams “VAI TOMAR NO CU EU QUERO A MINHA CASA”. The smoky mezcal stands for their dramatic, witchy-goth vibe and love for music like “vou injetar army dreamers na minha veia igual heroina”, something intense that hits like a shot to the soul. The bitter apéritif mirrors their misanthropic streak and general rage at humanity in tweets like “seres humanos são desprezíveis e sempre arrumam um jeito de comparar uma desgraça pra diminuir a outra” and “o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito”. Cold brew coffee captures being exhausted, wired, and mentally glitchy, as seen in “tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade nos últimos tempos, mas definitivamente não sei elaborar” and “meu cérebro é extremamente lento pra interações humanas”. The cherry liqueur adds an unexpectedly sweet, cute side for the person who gushes “sou a maior fã do meu namorado” and posts 😻 selfies, softening all the caps-lock fury. Finally, a dash of saline represents all the literal and metaphorical tears in “chorando e fazendo miojo” and their constant oscillation between meltdown and meme, making the whole thing strangely addictive—much like following them.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The strongest throughline in @_midwestmiku’s tweets is a sharp, combative self‑preservation and a very Slytherin us‑vs‑them stance. They repeatedly express open hostility and a desire for retaliation or suffering toward groups they dislike, e.g. “o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito” and “o vontade de matar homem velho puta que pariu”, which fits Slytherin’s darker edge and intense focus on protecting their own boundaries. Their language toward perceived rivals or annoyances is contemptuous and hierarchical, like “as vezes eu me acho meio vagabunda básica, mas ai eu vejo as reais vagabundas básicas e me sinto aliviada” and “COMO PODE SER UM BANDO DE VAGABUNDA TUDO AMIGA E UM BANDO DE OTARIO ATRÁS PUTA QUE PARIU”, suggesting a competitive, status‑aware mindset. Even their self‑criticism is framed in terms of not wanting to be "the wrong kind" of person, as in “eu definitivamente queria ser um ser humano diferente” and “eu tinha que ser burra né tinha que ser burra”, which aligns with Slytherin’s preoccupation with personal image and transformation. While there are glimmers of affection and loyalty (e.g. “sou a maior fã do meu namorado”), the dominant tone is combative, cynical, and boundary‑defensive rather than idealistic (Gryffindor), service‑oriented (Hufflepuff), or primarily intellectual (Ravenclaw). Taken together, the aggression, intense self‑protection, and concern with not being seen as weak or basic point most clearly to Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo
A song that best suits them is “Brutal” by Olivia Rodrigo, because it captures a mix of anger, humor, and chaotic young-adult frustration that runs through their tweets. They oscillate between self-loathing and dark confidence, like when they say “eu definitivamente queria ser um ser humano diferente” but also “nesse momento eu sou a gótica mais bonita de 📍Taubaté SP”, which matches the song’s theme of insecurity hidden under sarcasm. Their explosive irritation at people and the world—“COMO PODE SER UM BANDO DE VAGABUNDA TUDO AMIGA E UM BANDO DE OTARIO ATRÁS PUTA QUE PARIU” and “o meu sonho é que todos os homens do mundo sofram muito”—echoes the track’s “I’m so sick of 17 / where’s my fucking teenage dream?” energy. At the same time, they joke about being mentally and emotionally exhausted, like “tem um bagulho muito ruim acontecendo com a minha percepção da realidade nos últimos tempos, mas definitivamente não sei elaborar” and “nao to tankando mais porra nenhuma”, which fits the song’s overwhelmed, disillusioned tone. Finally, their age and overall vibe—“ainda bem que eu só tenho 19”, heavy music tastes, and sardonic humor—line up with Brutal’s blend of teenage angst, dark wit, and noisy catharsis.
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