_yelriwave
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In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Honesty: She posts raw feelings like 'não estou feliz' and confesses private wishes — 'quando era criança ... I always wished my family liked me' — rather than hiding behind polish.
- Wit: Her feed is full of snappy lines and savage takes such as 'foi muito cunt e yoongi da minha parte entregar a prova de química totalmente em branco', showing a quick comedic reflex.
- Loyal Fan: Her obsessive ranking 'Jimin's best songs, ranked by Eva Wirley' and protective stances like 'ta na hora de vcs aceitarem q o yoongi ta sumido pq ta cuidando da esposa e dos filhos' show fierce fandom dedication.
- Resilient: Despite family trouble ('acabei de ser expulsa de casa') and emotional lows, she keeps tweeting, joking, and moving forward — she even celebrates milestones like 'TERMINEI'.
- Observant: She notices small cultural ironies and calls them out — e.g. mocking trends: 'acho um mico quem escuta taylor swift pra pegar mulher' — showing sharp social reading.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsivity: Tweets like 'eu não tenho mais paciência pra nenhum homem. espero que todos morram...' show she sometimes posts extreme things in the heat of emotion.
- Self‑harm Signals: Confessions such as 'em menos de 1 ano eu perdi 10kg apenas passando fome' hint at unhealthy coping mechanisms that are worrying.
- Cruelty: She frequently uses harsh insults — 'gordo desgraçado filho da puta' and 'Que viado ridículo' — which can alienate people and escalate conflict.
- Inconsistency: 'eu fiz tudo menos estudar pra prova de amanhã' and the repeated live-recklessness suggest she starts things passionately but often loses follow-through.
- Oversharing: Posting private pain publicly — 'quando era criança ... I always wished my family liked me' and family disputes — can burn bridges or attract unwanted attention.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Bart is the best Simpsons match because Eva is irreverent, prankish, and defiantly anti‑authority: she brags about submitting blank tests ('entregar a prova de química totalmente em branco'), mocks institutions ('que país desgraçado'), and delights in chaos and school drama ('odeio o grêmio da escola'). Like Bart, she’s theatrical, frequently in trouble, and uses humor as armor and performance.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
ESFP fits Eva: Extraverted — she broadcasts feelings, fandom takes and daily life constantly ('TERMINEI', 'hoje é o meu último dia de aula.', many reaction memes); Sensing — she focuses on vivid, concrete details (hair experiments: 'melhor coisa q eu fiz foi começar a finalizar meu cabelo com gelatina', pool ownership: 'minha mãe finalmente cumpriu a promessa e comprou a porra da piscina'); Feeling — decision-making is based on emotion and values ('eu não tenho mais paciência pra nenhum homem. espero que todos morram...'; 'não estou feliz'); Perceiving — she prefers spontaneity and adapting in the moment ('Metas para setembro: Beber mais, Ser mais ignorante e antipática, Reclamar mais...') rather than strict planning. Her tweets like 'eu fiz tudo menos estudar pra prova de amanhã' show playful impulsiveness typical of ESFPs.
Some pickup lines for you
- Hey, are you a K‑pop comeback? Because you've been stuck on repeat in my head since I saw your 'Jimin's best songs' list.
- Do you teach swimming lessons? Because I’d dive into your pool and your DMs any day — 'preciso aprender a nadar pra ontem.'
- If you're an 'ícone em construção,' can I be the scaffolding? I come with tea, gossip, and a playlist of 'Like Crazy.'
- I’ll be your emergency contact if you promise not to expel me from the house — I bring snacks and savage takes on YG.
- Are you the last question on ENEM? Because I’d procrastinate forever just to get one more minute with you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Eva Wirley 🍰 | student & pop culture sleuth | K‑pop stan, blunt critic, pool owner-in-practice | icon-in-progress — messy, honest, often dramatic. DMs for chaos (or song recs).– @_yelriwave
Your signature cocktail
Acervo Splash
The 'Acervo Splash' mixes K‑pop‑friendly soju with sweet lychee and glitter to match Eva's fandom sparkle ('Jimin's best songs') and pool life ('minha mãe finalmente cumpriu a promessa e comprou a porra da piscina'). Lime gives a sharp bite — like her savage tweets ('quero que a yg pegue fogo') — and the fizz captures her restless, hyperactive energy: loud, sweet, and ready to trend.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Slytherin fits Eva because her tweets are ambitious, cunning, and fiercely self-protective: she openly plots social scorched-earth ('quero que a yg pegue fogo') and uses brutal tactics like delivering blank exams ('entregar a prova de química totalmente em branco') to get what she needs. She’s resourceful with fandom politics and social capital — both traits Slytherin prizes — and her readiness to say whatever secures her space (even if it’s ruthless) echoes the house's pragmatism and desire for survival.
Your movie
Your song
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
Alanis’s raw, furious breakup anthem matches Eva’s combustible emotions toward men and betrayal: she writes 'eu não tenho mais paciência pra nenhum homem. espero que todos morram...' and routinely vents biting resentment, which lines up with the cathartic, outraged energy of 'You Oughta Know.'
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