Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Analytical: Writes longform meta like Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance and threads unpacking character psychology and narrative structures, e.g. “Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance: Why Louis and Armand survive as long as they do 🧵” and “okay first i don't particularly think it was a bad adaptation, i think it's a very clear evidence of louis' volatily and his repressed violence...”.
- Empathetic: Shows sustained concern for characters’ trauma and abuse, especially Claudia’s, e.g. “i wish that we would address claudia's assault more and how it affected her...” and “not very fond of the dismissive way some of you respond to claudia's abuse being magnified and talked about...”.
- Principled: Holds firm boundaries about racism and abuse narratives, calling out double standards, e.g. “the white man has never lied about anything that has happened to him but the black woman is lying and exaggerating her abuse...” and criticizing minimization of Lestat’s abuse in “'lestat is only in part an abuser' might be the craziest take ive ever heard on here”.
- Passionate: Expresses intense enthusiasm for ships and canon, rewatching and rereading repeatedly, e.g. “graduated to the level where i don't need subtitles when rewatching iwtv anymore i know it all word for word😭” and “craving a loumand long fic but ive read every single one on ao3...”.
- Humorous: Uses sharp, playful jokes and hyperbole to engage, e.g. “keep running your mouth, girl you're next in line to be armand's boyfriend” and “'you block people over politics?' girl i block people if they dont like louis, claudia and armand”.
Weaknesses:
- Confrontational: Often escalates disagreements with combative language, e.g. “if you're not voting louis, unfollow me noww this is not a democracy” and “and if one word on jacob anderson's looks crosses y'all's mouths oh my god someone is getting shot”.
- Dismissive: Frames differing tastes as not worth engaging, e.g. “i do not engage in ship wars... i will not be engaging in conversation with people who do not recognize each of their individuality” and “'i don't get insert ship' then maybe it's not for you, you ever think of that”.
- HarshlyJudgmental: Uses strong insults toward opposing views or people, e.g. “how it feels to love both loumand and loustat and armand and lestat without some stupid bitch whining in my ear...” and “you genuinely couldn't even pay me to like daniel, sorry”.
- EchoChamberSeeking: Encourages curation that excludes dissenting fandom opinions, e.g. “'you block people over politics?' girl i block people if they dont like louis, claudia and armand” and “iwtvtwt when you tell them it's okay to acknowledge that the evil vampires in the evil vampire show are evil and do evil things” while dismissing contrary readings.
- IntensityOverload: Emotional intensity toward media and discourse can sound overwhelming or extreme, e.g. “while you guys pqrt with think pieces, im having the time of my life reading sapphic loumandstat smut and i couldn't careless about an opinion i'd never see” and “im gonna become such a rabid animal when they converse in character on my screen...”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson: cerebral, morally intense, and deeply attached to her special interests. Like Lisa obsessing over jazz or social justice, they deep-dive into Interview With The Vampire with analytical threads such as “Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance: Why Louis and Armand survive as long as they do 🧵” and longform docs. They show a strong ethical compass and media-critical lens, calling out racism and selective empathy in the fandom, as in “the white man has never lied about anything that has happened to him but the black woman is lying and exaggerating her abuse to villainize him, hmm okay” and “not very fond of the dismissive way some of you respond to claudia's abuse being magnified and talked about”. At the same time, they still unapologetically love messy, morally complicated characters and ships, balancing critique and enjoyment, e.g. “i love armand because he's manipulative and evil… i love when these four… commit atrocities🩷” and “i do not engage in ship wars… i know exactly what they are and why they spent so long together”. Like Lisa, they’re principled, articulate, occasionally exasperated with everyone else’s takes, and incredibly earnest about the media and characters they care about.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFJ
They read as introverted: their passions are largely solitary media consumption and meta-analysis (rewatching Interview With the Vampire, rereading books, making long essays), and they mention privacy explicitly in their bio with a private account, suggesting a preference for controlled, curated interaction rather than broad socializing. Their focus is strongly intuitive (N)—they constantly dig into motives, symbolism, and patterns rather than surface details, like in their analytical thread and doc, “Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance: Why Louis and Armand survive as long as they do🧵”, and in takes such as “when louis saves claudia... in reality he covets her for himself… prolongs and suspends her in a state of stagnancy deprived of her agency and without mobility+”. Their judgments are clearly feeling (F)-driven, grounded in empathy, morality, and emotional nuance; they argue passionately about abuse, race, and victimhood, e.g. “not very fond of the dismissive way some of you respond to claudia's abuse… im frankly concerned” and “the white man has never lied… but the black woman is lying and exaggerating her abuse to villainize him, hmm okay”. At the same time, they show a structured, decisive judging (J) orientation: they write organized analysis docs (“okay i made it into a thread but also wanted to post the whole doc…”), talk about "clarity" in definitions (“surely we all know there's a vast difference between two entities being similar and being mirrors…”), and set firm boundaries like “if you're not voting louis, unfollow me noww this is not a democracy”. Their combination of intense moral focus, long-form interpretive analysis, and sharp but value-centered callouts (e.g. “i do not engage in ship wars… i know exactly what they are… and i will not be engaging in conversation with people who do not recognize each of their individuality”) strongly fits the INFJ profile: an inwardly-focused, theory-loving, values-driven planner who uses strong convictions to critique fandom and media dynamics.
Some pickup lines for you
- You love ‘murder is sexy’ vamps committing atrocities, but have you considered the horror of us sharing a couch, rereading IWTV for the 50th time, and realizing we’ve already co-written the sapphic loumandstat smut in our heads?
- You said ‘loumand are switches’ and ‘I feel very strongly about Armand domming Louis’—statistically speaking, that means there’s at least a 33.3% chance you’d let me top while we argue about whether Louis believed Sam could really barricade Armand.
- You wrote ‘Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance’ about loumand; if we dated, I promise to be the emotionally well-regulated parasite who brings snacks and lets you infodump about Claudia’s trial until sunrise.
- You block people for not liking Louis, Claudia, and Armand—lucky for me I’d die for all three, so what are the chances you’d grant me visitation rights in your little evil-vampire moral prison?
- You said ‘someone’s out there loumanding harder than me and I don’t think I’m comfortable with that’—how about we make you more uncomfortable and become the unholy duo that loumands harder than the rest of iwtvtwt combined?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
21 • they/he • lesbian. Writes longform IWTV meta between rereads and rewatches. Once finished every loumand fic on AO3 and just kept going.– @a_small_cretur
Your signature cocktail
Mutual Parasitini (Loumand on the Rocks)
Overproof dark rum stands in for how intense and all-consuming their media brainrot is, the kind that has them “graduated to the level where i don't need subtitles when rewatching iwtv anymore i know it all word for word😭” (“graduated to the level where i don't need subtitles when rewatching iwtv anymore i know it all word for word😭”). Black cherry liqueur adds a lush, romantic sweetness for their shameless love of messy ships like loumand and loustat, as when they say “how it feels to love both loumand and loustat and armand and lestat without some stupid bitch whining in my ear” (“how it feels to love both loumand and loustat and armand and lestat without some stupid bitch whining in my ear that only one is endgame and morally correct because it's only part time abusive”). Blood orange juice is the tangy, bloody heart of the drink, echoing their delight when “these four especially when they are voracious and commit atrocities🩷” (“y'all be easy with your moral olympics... could never be me tho, i love armand because he's manipulative and evil, i love the loustat hunter prey dynamic, i love claudia killing indiscriminately, i love when these four especially when they are voracious and commit atrocities🩷”). Smoked salt simple syrup captures their willingness to sit with bitterness and nuance, like when they dig into Claudia’s abuse and agency (“do you ever think of how emotionally burdening it must've been for claudia to come home and immediately be assigned the role of louis' caretaker, cleaning up lestat's mess once more”). Finally, activated charcoal gives the drink a dramatic, gothic blackness, fitting for someone who writes “Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance” (“Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance: Why Louis and Armand survive as long as they do 🧵”) and cheerfully admits “ar10and eating louis out is something so sacred to me” (“armand eating louis out is something so sacred to me”).
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their timeline is dominated by analysis, meta, and close reading, which is classic Ravenclaw. They literally write longform essays like “Mutual Parasitism and Love as Sustenance: Why Louis and Armand survive as long as they do 🧵” and follow it up with a full Google Doc for people who prefer that format, showing deep intellectual engagement and a love of structured argument. Over and over, they carefully unpack scenes, e.g. “okay first i don't particularly think it was a bad adaptation, i think it's a very clear evidence of louis' volatily and his repressed violence, he's exposed when he's faced with the reality of actually killing lestat and he reacts and then, iwtv has always addressed+” and “louis gives armand this blank, heavy look after he says 'i could not prevent it' which makes him doubledown to repeat it as if to convince them both and i think it's just one of the subtle clues that louis knew to some extent it couldn't possibly be true, he could've prevented it”, showing analytical thinking rather than pure emotional or tribal reactions. They enjoy conceptual distinctions and precise language like “okay just for clarity sake, surely we all know there's a vast difference between two entities being similar and being mirrors of one another, right”, which is very Ravenclaw-coded. Even their fandom investment leans cerebral: they want to "unspool" episodes layer by layer in “in an ideal world we all just discuss every episode and unspool it to it's very last shriveled layer and have fun talking about the things we love about the show instead of unnecessary discourse and arguments every other day”. While they have strong loyalties and sharp opinions, the most consistent throughline is curiosity, interpretation, and intellectual play with the text—hallmarks of Ravenclaw rather than the more impulsive or status-driven traits of Gryffindor or Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
bad idea right? - Olivia Rodrigo
Their whole vibe is loving messy, morally dubious relationships while being fully self-aware about it, which fits bad idea right? perfectly. They openly delight in toxic vampire dynamics, saying they "love armand because he's manipulative and evil" and the "loustat hunter prey dynamic" and "claudia killing indiscriminately" while insisting others ease up on "moral olympics" “y'all be easy with your moral olympics... could never be me tho, i love armand because he's manipulative and evil, i love the loustat hunter prey dynamic, i love claudia killing indiscriminately, i love when these four especially when they are voracious and commit atrocities🩷”. Like the song’s narrator, they gravitate toward relationships that are obsessive, unhealthy, and impossible to quit, as when they say "they really built a prison cell for themselves to suffocate in and somehow they kept each other breathing anyway" about Louis and Lestat “'if im not with him, im nothing' ' either i go with him or i die' it's so interesting to me that they really built a prison cell for themselves to suffocate in and somehow they kept each other breathing anyway”. They revel in going back to the same chaotic dynamics (and fandom debates) over and over, rewatching and rereading, like when they admit to craving more Loumand fic and looping back to the source: “craving a loumand long fic but ive read every single one on ao3 so im rereading iwtv again”. And just as the song is playful, horny, and a little unhinged, they describe themselves joyfully consuming "sapphic loumandstat smut" while ignoring discourse “while you guys pqrt with think pieces, im having the time of my life reading sapphic loumandstat smut and i couldn't careless about an opinion i'd never see, we all live different lives fr”, fully leaning into the chaos the way Olivia’s narrator keeps going back to the wrong person on purpose.
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