Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Daily countdown threads for Capitano’s resurrection and playability show long-term dedication, e.g. “Day 393 waiting for Capitano's resurrection” and “Day 438 waiting for Capitano to be playable”.
- Community engaged: Frequently quote-retweets and reacts to others’ posts, like “Capitano!! We all love her 💕💕” and “People waking up about feminist capitano…”.
- Humoristic voice: Uses absurd, over-the-top jokes to entertain followers, e.g. “He's 3 apples tall” and the coal-to-diamond rant “Eu queria q ele colocasse uma pedra de carvão no meu cu…”.
- Lore analytical: Connects leaks and mythology, like explaining Mistilteinn and Thrain in “6.3 leaks!! MORE CAPITANO CRUMBS!” and theorizing about moons in “Columbina is literally the moon goddess…”.
- Openly expressive: Shows intense emotion and enthusiasm, from “AI MEU DEUS AI MEU DEUS EU NAO ACREDITO” to heartfelt posts like “Its so sad to me that we spend more time without him rather them with him.”.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive language: Frequent use of threats or violent phrasing, e.g. “I need to kill him” and “Im chasing whoever made this”.
- Self-destructive jokes: Uses suicide-related expressions for frustration, like “Its just only one fucking line im killing myself”.
- Excessive vulgarity: Highly explicit sexual and bodily imagery, such as “It would be so cool if he grabbed his sword and shoved it up my ass” and the explicit coal-to-diamond tweet here.
- Hostile phrasing: Insult-heavy reactions, calling others “fuckass ugly npc” in this tweet and “random fuckass guy” in “Can this random fuckass guy move”.
- Leak dependent: Relies heavily on leaks for content and hope, e.g. multiple 6.3 leaks posts like “6.3 leaks!! MORE CAPITANO CRUMBS!” and “6.3 leaks!! Columbina voice live about Capitano!”, which can be unstable or spoiler-heavy for others.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This account fits Lisa Simpson best: intensely fixated on a niche interest, extremely online, smart in a hyper-specific lore way, and very emotionally dramatic about it. Like Lisa with her causes, they turn Capitano into a full-time crusade, methodically chronicling each day of waiting with posts like “Day 393 waiting for Capitano's resurrection” and “Day 438 waiting for Capitano to be playable”. They deep-dive into theory and symbolism the way Lisa dissects literature and politics, e.g. the moon/Columbina theory in “Columbina is literally the moon goddess… maybe we'll have something related to Capitano and the moons in the future...?” and the myth reference in “Mistilteinn, in the nordic mythology, it's the name of the a sword owned by the king named Thrain.”. At the same time, they are highly emotional and melodramatic about injustice toward their fave, like Lisa protesting unfairness, as shown in “This fuckass ugly npc having more voiceline than my gorgeous captain... I need to kill him” and “Its so sad to me that we spend more time without him rather them with him.”. The mix of obsessive passion, intellectual theorizing, and dramatic, slightly unhinged sincerity is very Lisa-coded—if Lisa grew up as a terminally online Genshin lore stan.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they openly overshare intense emotions and horny thoughts in public, clearly enjoying audience reaction and community, e.g. the extremely explicit fantasy about Capitano in Portuguese in “Eu queria q ele colocasse uma pedra de carvão no meu cu...” and the dramatic rant “This fuckass ugly npc having more voiceline than my gorgeous captain... I need to kill him”. They are strongly iNtuitive: they constantly spin theories and symbolism around lore instead of just facts, such as connecting Capitano to moon mythology in “Columbina is literally the moon goddess... maybe we'll have something related to Capitano and the moons in the future...?” and analyzing "mistilteinn" and Thrain in “Mistilteinn, in the nordic mythology, it's the name of a sword owned by the king named Thrain.”. Their tone is clearly Feeling-oriented: they center emotional reactions, affection, and empathy, calling Capitano "my baby" in “MY BABY 😭😭🫶🫶🫶” and lamenting his absence with “Its so sad to me that we spend more time without him rather them with him.”; even their anger is value- and feeling-driven (e.g. “People waking up about feminist capitano...”). They skew Perceiving rather than rigidly structured Judging: although they keep a daily count (the "Day X" posts), much of their content is impulsive, chaotic, and spur-of-the-moment—sudden capslock outbursts like “AI MEU DEUS AI MEU DEUS EU NAO ACREDITO” and wild, unfiltered sexual jokes like “It would be so cool if he grabbed his sword and shoved it up my ass” show spontaneity over careful order. Taken together—extraverted emotional intensity, imaginative theorizing, feelings-first language, and a chaotic, impulsive posting style—ENFP fits them best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’ve spent 400+ days waiting for Capitano’s resurrection and 430+ for him to be playable — how about we speedrun a new daily counter: ‘Day 1 of us coping together about Hoyoverse’s crimes’?
- You said Capitano is ‘3 apples tall’ — statistically that means if we went on a date, you’d be exactly the right height to stand on tiptoe and rant in my face about how he has the same voiceline count as a ruin grader while I buy you snacks.
- You hate that HoYo only lets us see half his face, but I promise if you go out with me I’ll give you 100% of my attention and 0% of that ‘fuckass ugly NPC’ energy.
- You theorize about mistilteinn, moon goddesses, and heavy snow during his sacrifice… if you can put that much heart into a dead man in Natlan, imagine what you could do with a very alive simp right here in Snezhnaya— I mean, in your DMs.
- The way you went from ‘I’m killing myself it’s only one line’ to ‘MORE CAPITANO CRUMBS’ in the 6.3 leaks is actually adorable; if unwavering, slightly feral devotion were a 5★, I’d pull on your banner every day until you finally let me be your honorary Harbinger.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Documenting every crumb of Capitano since Day 1. 400+ days of waiting, theories, and fanart analysis—and I’m still not logging off.– @AcervoCapitano
Your signature cocktail
The Antumbra Yearning
The overproof dark rum captures their intense, borderline unhinged devotion — the kind of love that leads to posts like “It would be so cool if he grabbed his sword and shoved it up my ass” and the daily waiting logs. An espresso shot represents their relentless stamina as they count the days — “Day 393 waiting for Capitano's resurrection” and “Day 438 waiting for Capitano to be playable” — never letting the obsession sleep. Blackberry syrup brings dark sweetness for the soft, affectionate side that calls him my gorgeous captain in posts like “This fuckass ugly npc having more voiceline than my gorgeous captain...”. A rim of smoked salt mirrors the constant salt and suffering over leaks and crumbs, from “Its just only one fucking line im killing myself” to the anguish that “we spend more time without him rather than with him” in this tweet. Finally, sparkling yuzu soda tops it off with a sharp, fizzy hopefulness, echoing posts like “Nvm we have hope” and the excited theories about his future in “Reminder that capitano it's the next harbinger according to the fatui wheel”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
This account shows intense, almost single‑minded ambition and obsession, channeling hundreds of days into a personal crusade to see Capitano return and become playable, as seen in the ongoing daily posts like “Day 429 waiting for Capitano to be playable” and “Day 393 waiting for Capitano's resurrection”. Their language is aggressively possessive and competitive, referring to Capitano as “my gorgeous captain” and “my husband,” and lashing out at anything that takes attention away from him, such as “Can this random fuckass guy move im trying to admire my husband 🙄🙄😒😒” and “This fuckass ugly npc having more voiceline than my gorgeous captain... I need to kill him”. They are also very resourceful and theory‑driven, digging through leaks and lore connections to construct elaborate narratives about Capitano’s fate and symbolism, for example “6.3 leaks!! MORE CAPITANO CRUMBS! They mentioned the term 'mistilteinn' ... it's the name of the a sword owned by the king named Thrain.” and “I also wanted to talk about this theory I saw on reddit... maybe we'll have something related to Capitano and the moons in the future...?”. Their willingness to use dark humor and extreme, graphic exaggerations like “It would be so cool if he grabbed his sword and shoved it up my ass” and an even more elaborate coal/diamond scenario in Portuguese shows a comfort with taboo, intense desire, and doing ‘whatever it takes’ in fantasy. While there is some Ravenclaw‑style analysis in their lore breakdowns, the dominant traits are obsessive ambition, possessive loyalty to a single figure, and a sharp, sometimes ruthless tone—hallmarks of Slytherin more than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
All Too Well (10 Minute Version) - Taylor Swift
The song All Too Well (10 Minute Version) fits them because it’s about obsessive, detailed remembrance and never letting go, just like their long-running daily countdowns such as “Day 393 waiting for Capitano's resurrection” and “Day 438 waiting for Capitano to be playable”. Taylor’s extended version lingers on every tiny memory, mirroring how they analyze crumbs and symbolism like “I love how his ear have a little blue vein, representing his body rot” and “The pieces that represent Signora and Capitano being broken and then fading...”. The dramatic emotional swings in the song match their timeline-style meltdown and hope cycles, from despair in “Its just only one fucking line im killing myself” to elation in “AI MEU DEUS AI MEU DEUS EU NAO ACREDITO”. The song’s theme of clinging to a love and a story over years fits how they’ve devoted their entire account to Capitano, even joking about extreme devotion and yearning in tweets like “It would be so cool if he grabbed his sword and shoved it up my ass”. Overall, both the song and this account are about loving someone so intensely that every minor detail, mention, and memory becomes a huge emotional event.
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