
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Homer, this user displays a volatile mix of intense loyalty to his sports teams and a quick-to-anger temperament when things go wrong, as seen when he exclaims “This offense is dogshit holy fuck”. He shares Homer's blue-collar frustrations regarding grueling labor, tweeting about working outdoors in 20-degree weather for “10 HRS A FUCKIN DAY”. Despite his aggressive outbursts and occasional “Bong Rips”, his bio defines him as a Girl dad, mirroring Homer’s underlying devotion to his children. He often embraces a carefree, simple mindset that mirrors Homer's lack of focus, frequently titling his gaming streams “No thoughts, just vibes”. This combination of working-class struggle, sports obsession, and a toggle between rage and relaxation makes him a perfect match for the Simpsons patriarch.

Your MBTI personality Type
AJ demonstrates strong Extroversion and Sensing through his high-energy, real-time engagement with physical events like football games and his outdoor job, often using aggressive language like “stomp this fucking egg head out”. His Thinking preference is clear in his blunt, confrontational style, dismissing others' lack of “critical thinking” and calling out what he perceives as “grifting takes”. Finally, his Perceiving nature is defined by his frequent catchphrase “No thoughts, just vibes” and his spontaneous, thrill-seeking approach to gaming and sports. This combination of traits suggests a person who lives intensely in the moment, values direct action, and has little patience for abstract or overly diplomatic social norms.

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Your new Twitter bio
USAF Veteran and dedicated girl dad currently surviving Chicago winters and outdoor shifts. When I’m not streaming Arc Raiders, I’m rooting for the Birds.– @AintShitAJ

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is a gritty, high-octane tribute to an Eagles superfan who works 10-hour shifts in freezing temps, as seen when he rants, “WE WORK OUTDOORS 10 HRS A FUCKIN DAY”. The base is strong and uncompromising like a veteran, but the green hue and bitter kick represent his volatile relationship with Philly sports, especially when he screams, “This offense is dogshit holy fuck”. The herbal, stony finish honors his “STONED SATURDAY” gaming sessions, while the overall 'vibes' capture the spirit of his catchphrase, “No thoughts, just vibes.” Serve it cold enough to make a Chicago winter feel like a “DEI MVP” fever dream.

Your Hogwarts House
This user shows strong Gryffindor energy: loud, confrontational, and unafraid to say exactly what they think, even in harsh terms. Their football and culture takes are delivered like someone who wants to go to war for what they believe, e.g. blasting people with lines like “Eat a dick and choke on it you fat fucking cow” and “Get that pedophile away from my fucking team”, which reads as moral outrage more than cold calculation. They clearly identify with competitiveness and intensity, mocking a quote with “'As a super competitive person' And it's just the most non competitive grifting take ever.”, and they ride emotional highs and lows with their teams, cheering and condemning in real time like someone on the front lines (“Holy FUCK the bears just balled tf out 2nd half”, “This offense is dogshit holy fuck”). There’s also a willingness to fantasize about direct confrontation, as in “I so desperately wanna see someone stomp this fucking egg head out” and the dark joke “Someone gon boom adin Ross and imma smile”, which fits Gryffindor’s impulsive, fight-first instinct (albeit in a more toxic, modern-Twitter way). At the same time, their repeated hype for their team and players—“GO BIRDS DICKHEAD” and concern like “Kittle please be alright man”—shows a protective, ride-or-die loyalty typical of a brash Gryffindor rather than the quieter loyalty of a Hufflepuff. Overall, the dominant traits are courage to speak out, emotional intensity, and a confrontational defense of their values and teams, which align most strongly with Gryffindor.

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As a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan who identifies with the phrase “GO BIRDS DICKHEAD”, this iconic Philly anthem perfectly matches AJ's high-energy and confrontational sports persona. The song’s transition from calm to aggressive mirrors his tweeting style, which fluctuates between chill gaming sessions and intense frustration, such as when he shouts “This offense is dogshit holy fuck”. His bio as a USAF Vet and Girl dad shows a foundational grit that aligns with the song's themes of overcoming struggle, while his frequent “No thoughts, just vibes” posts reflect the 'Dreams' side of the track. Ultimately, his willingness to defend his team and players like Jalen Hurts against “buzzwords” cements his status as a true representative of the Philly underdog spirit.

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AintShitAJ
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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