Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Artistic Expression: Alex is a drag performer who shares his creative work, as seen when “taking my anxiety medication on stage during one of my drag performances”.
- Social Activism: He takes a firm stance against animal cruelty, telling followers who “support bullfighting, animal torture or anything of the sort please give me a block”.
- Radical Honesty: He is transparent about his mental health, admitting he is “at a very bad place right now”.
- Passionate Fan: He shows intense dedication to his favorite artists, such as when he was “screaming crying throwing up” at a Taylor Swift concert.
- Self-Confidence: Alex frequently celebrates his appearance, boldly tweeting for others to “look how hot I am”.
Weaknesses:
- Chronic Tardiness: He displays a lack of punctuality, noting he was “about 6 hours late to uni”.
- Impulsive Behavior: He often acts without considering the results, questioning “who knew my actions would have consequences”.
- Judgmental Nature: He admits to being overly critical of others' communication, “literally leaving people on read for using ‘🤣’ non-ironically”.
- Conflict Seekers: He occasionally uses aggressive language toward others, stating “I won’t not fuck you the fuck up”.
- Validation Seeking: He relies heavily on public perception, asking followers “do I look kinda thic or am I just delusional?”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Like Lisa, Alex is a passionate superfan and intellectual who isn't afraid to speak his mind on social issues, notably when he tells followers to “block me” if they support animal cruelty. He mirrors Lisa's artistic and musical soul, sharing his excitement for artists like Taylor Swift and Florence + The Machine, even claiming “I held hands with @florencemachine”. Despite his confidence, he often feels like an outsider or the “main character” dealing with the chaos of others, much like Lisa's role in the Simpson family. His self-described “marketing genius” and sharp wit align perfectly with Lisa's high-achieving and occasionally sarcastic personality.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Alex exhibits strong Extroversion (E) through a constant need for social interaction and public validation, such as when he asks for “casinha em Lisboa por una noche solo” or shares his drag performances. His Intuitive (N) side is shown in his deep emotional connection to music and abstract metaphors, claiming a song “RLY RESONATES WITH ME” and describing himself as the “main character”. The Feeling (F) trait is dominant as he leads with raw emotion, frequently “Screaming crying throwing up” over his idols and prioritizing personal values over logic. Finally, his Perceiving (P) nature is evident in his spontaneous and often chaotic lifestyle, admitting he is “about 6 hours late to uni” and frequently acting on impulse before considering the consequences.
Some pickup lines for you
- I promise I’ll never be the 'thirteenth reason' you hold your concert posters upside down on TV.
- Are you a Taylor Swift waitlist email? Because even if I don’t get a ticket, I’m still 'screaming, crying, throwing up' over you.
- If you’re looking for a man who looks like a top but acts like a bottom, I’m ready to be the little spoon to your big energy.
- Forget the 'gay police'—I’m here to report that you're definitely beating the 'aging well' allegations this year.
- I’m no marketing genius, but I think we’d have a lot more fun than a cat licking its balls in the background of a photo.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Marketing student and drag performer from Oporto. Once took my anxiety meds on stage—the show must go on. Catch me at the Eras Tour or avoiding the gay police.– @alexinhozinhe
Your signature cocktail
The Thirteenth Reason (Slay-less Spritz)
This cocktail captures Alex’s high-drama, Oporto-based energy, serving as a tribute to their life as a “marketing genius” and Swiftie extraordinaire. It’s a spicy yet sweet mix that mimics the chaos of “taking my anxiety medication on stage during one of my drag performances,” while the bitter lemon reflects their zero-tolerance policy for “opiniões de merda.” The drink is intentionally bold because, as Alex claims, “I really am the main character AND I HATE IT.” Just be careful not to describe the flavor as 'slay,' or “imma find you and k*** you.”
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Alex exhibits the core Slytherin traits of ambition and resourcefulness through the self-branded “marketing genius” promotion of his adult content. He displays a sharp, cunning wit and a focus on social standing, specifically regarding the “A vontade de dar expose numa gay super famosa” and the realization that “Ele pode dizer/fazer a maior merda de sempre e vai ter sempre uma army de tesudas sem cérebro a lutar por ele”. His self-preservation and pride are evident when he declares “I am the main character AND I HATE IT” and demands that those with opposing values “por favor dê me block”. Ultimately, his unapologetic focus on aesthetics, influence, and personal success aligns perfectly with the house of Salazar Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
22 - Taylor Swift
Alex is a dedicated 'Swiftie' who embodies the youthful, chaotic, and celebratory energy of this anthem, explicitly posting “I'M FEELING 22” and sharing his excitement for the Eras Tour by “Screaming crying throwing up”. The song’s themes of being 'happy, free, confused, and lonely' perfectly mirror his social life, from performing drag and taking “ANXIETY MEDICATION ON STAGE” to his humorous self-reflection on being the “main character”. His tweets capture the essence of a carefree yet dramatic twenty-something navigating love and social media, much like the lyrics suggest. Ultimately, his blend of unapologetic queer joy and self-deprecating humor, such as being “so real for this”, makes this Taylor Swift classic his perfect match.
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