Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful creativity: Constantly invents fun ideas and AUs, like the polytrix hero story and Zoemira photographer concept in “Anyways. Zoemira in which: Photographer Mira continually gets hired by Zoey…”.
- Dedicated writer: Tracks word counts and pushes large chapters (20k–30k+), celebrating progress in tweets like “I WROTE 2,348 WORDS TODAY!! Wahoooo!” and “Ended up writing 3k!! For the polytrix hero au!”.
- Enthusiastic fan: Shows genuine excitement for fandoms and merch, like collecting photocards and binders in “WAIT. I HAVEN’T UPDATED Y’ALLS ON MY HUNTRIX THEMED POKEMON CARD BINDER YET!!” and hunting Zoey cards in “Collecting photocards is NOTT for the weak…”.
- Self-aware humor: Regularly jokes at their own expense, such as calling themselves out for procrastinating or over-writing in “I really just zone out and write whatever because what do you mean I'm basically at 7k and have not advanced the plot one bit…”.
- Community oriented: Engages others with questions, requests, and updates, like asking for drawing prompts in “Rumira art next perhaps? Anything in particular y’alls wanna see drawn?” and collab hints in “my dream writing collab would lowkey be a pokemon au…”.
Weaknesses:
- Procrastination habit: Frequently delays tasks, like planning art but playing Plants vs Zombies instead in “I was planning on posting art today but then I ended up getting ridiculously addicted to playing plants vs zombies instead” and putting off reading chapters in “Y’all ever just procrastinate reading a chapter for so long…”.
- Overambitious planning: Sets very large goals (200k fic, huge chapters, NaNo targets) that they doubt finishing, like in “The guestimated word count of this polytrix fic I’m cooking up is 200k atm…” and “I have very little faith in my ability to wrap up this chapter in 7k works…”.
- Project juggling: Jumps between multiple artworks and WIPs at once, risking burnout and unfinished pieces, as seen in “I’m bouncing between 3 artworks at once HOLY MOLY…” and constantly starting new WIPs like “Some sorta polytrix wip”.
- Perfectionist tendencies: Second-guesses art and hesitates to post due to small perceived flaws, like worrying about Mira’s face in “I was about to post Rumira art but there’s something off about Mira…” and feeling they “ruined” their art thread in “ngl I kinda ruined my art thread by deleting a couple things oops”.
- Impulse spending: Openly struggles with buying fandom items despite being broke, as shown in “NOTHING come out in the next two weeks, I am too broke to want stuff rn… watch me order it anyway” and being tempted by expensive figures in “600 bucks… It has never been more tempting to open up c0mmissions of some kind…”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Alfie reads as a very Lisa-coded fan: creative, wordy, and deeply invested in their niche interests. They’re a driven writer who casually drops huge word counts like “chapter two of this thing just hit 20k” and “I WROTE 2,348 WORDS TODAY!!”, which mirrors Lisa’s studious, overachieving side. Their artsy, slightly perfectionist streak shows in tweets like “I was about to post Rumira art but there’s something off about Mira and I just cannot for the life of me figure out??”. At the same time, they’re very earnest and emotionally expressive about the media they love, whether it’s “Rumi's arms. I was thinking about them during the last few hours of my shift. They saved me” or “I’m crying. There are tears in my eyes. Oh my GOD I need him. I need timmy turtle so bad”, which fits Lisa’s passionate-fan energy. Their tendency to overthink, make spreadsheets, and theorise (“I am connecting so many dots rn (nobody explain. I’ll get there when I get there)”) also feels extremely Lisa: brainy, introspective, and a little bit obsessive in a charming way.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert: most activities are solitary and online (writing, drawing, gaming) and their socializing is largely fandom-based. They talk about getting overwhelmed by notifications like “I just woke up to so many notifications holy moly why did my zoerumi art get 500 likes” and being “too cowardly” to post a speedpaint publicly, which suggests they enjoy sharing but don’t seek the spotlight aggressively. They clearly favor Intuition over Sensing, constantly spinning ideas, AUs, and hypotheticals—e.g., “There’s a trilogy I’ll never write forming in my brain and I LOVE IT” and “My dream writing collab would lowkey be a pokemon au where I just write all the battles and someone else writes the rest nodnod”—and they’re fascinated with sprawling plots and future scenes rather than concrete, real‑life details. Their tone and priorities are very Feeling: they gush about characters and emotional dynamics (“Bruh Zoerumi ragebaiting Mira is my new favourite thing”) and celebrate feelings of joy or angst in writing rather than discussing logical systems or debates; even problems are framed emotionally, like crying over wanting a plushie in “I need timmy turtle so bad… i’m crying”. Finally, they come across as strongly Perceiving: their chapters balloon far past original plans, they frequently underestimate length (“The guestimated word count of this polytrix fic I’m cooking up is 200k atm…”), procrastinate edits, and admit to bouncing between multiple WIPs at once like “I’m bouncing between 3 artworks at once HOLY MOLY, I’ll have something posted eventually, idk when, but eventually!”. Taken together—imaginative, emotionally expressive, fandom‑obsessed, and delightfully unstructured—they best fit INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If your life is a 200k-word Polytrix epic, can I be the Zoerumi angst in chapter two that makes everything hurt more but somehow better? I promise I’ll contradict less than your improv villain.
- You turned your mouse cursor into Bidoof and accidentally sized it to eldritch proportions… wanna date someone who’ll still think you’re cute when you inevitably do that to your art brushes too?
- You’ve punched a mouse, a phone, and even your own eye over how good your Polytrix snippets are. As a safety precaution, I volunteer to stand next to you while you write—purely to hold your hand whenever the fic gets that good.
- Your Huntrix Pokémon card binder is like your KPHD photocard hunt—90% full but still missing a couple of favourites. How about we trade: you get a Zoey or Mira card, and I get a date with the No.1 Bidoof fan?
- You forgot to put your calendar up and speedran a whole month, binged Plants vs Zombies instead of posting art, and still cranked out 2,348 words in a day… I don’t need a video essay; I could happily listen to you ramble about your brainworms while you draw for hours.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Writer & occasional artist powered by Zoerumi angst, 2k-word sprints, and a Bidoof cursor I definitely did not mean to super-size.– @alfieeespams
Your signature cocktail
Polytrix Brainworm Fizz
The Polytrix Brainworm Fizz is a chaotic-sweet boba cocktail for the writer who casually drops “the chapter’s at 23,409 words rn… If it hits 30k I won’t really be surprised atp” while celebrating “I WROTE 2,348 WORDS TODAY!! Wahoooo!”. Brown sugar boba rum milk tea is the cozy-but-dangerously-strong base, mirroring late-night fic marathons like when they admit “I really just zone out and write whatever because what do you mean I'm basically at 7k and have not advanced the plot one bit because polytrix decided they wanted to SMOOCH instead”. Sparkling yuzu lemonade captures their bright, excitable energy and tendency to spiral into delighted chaos over tiny things, like “Y'ALL. MY MOUSE CURSOR IS BIDOOF NOW. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM RN”. Passionfruit popping pearls stand in for all the ships and polycule feelings—every sip a burst of Zoey/Rumi/Mira brainrot, from “#zoerumi smoochingg” to the wolves inside them who know “the wolves should kiss and make polytrix” in this tweet. A dash of cold brew coffee reflects the grindset of locking in with wild word count goals like “TODAY'S WORD COUNT GOAL (gosh)” and the determination to hit NaNo-style milestones even when time vanishes in a blink. Finally, edible glitter stars are for the way they light up over fandom victories—binder updates, photocards, and speedpaints they’re “too cowardly to post” like in this confession—because this drink, like Alfie, is messy, sparkly, and powered entirely by enthusiasm and brainworms.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Their timeline is dominated by steady, down-to-earth dedication to creative work—especially writing massive fics and finishing chapters—rather than clout or competition, which fits Hufflepuff’s hard‑working, patient vibe. They repeatedly celebrate incremental progress, like proudly updating word counts in tweets such as “I WROTE 2,348 WORDS TODAY!! Wahoooo! The big villain battle is now complete!” and “No art today BUTT!! I did write 500 words wahoooo!!”, showing persistence and satisfaction in the grind itself. There’s also a strong sense of loyalty to their fandoms and ships: they obsessively collect merch and photocards even when it’s impractical, like “Collecting photocards is NOTT for the weak, I’m on my 18th cd and STILL NO ZOEY??”, and lovingly maintain things like a Huntrix-themed card binder as in “WAIT. I HAVEN’T UPDATED Y’ALLS ON MY HUNTRIX THEMED POKEMON CARD BINDER YET!!”. Their tone toward friends and followers is gentle and community-focused—hoping a friend will cheer for their writing in “Sent it to my irl friend instead. I hope she claps.” and offering to take sketch requests even if it takes ages in “Y’alls can request polytrix sketches on my strawpage but, uhhh, I might take a whole damn year to draw it??”. While they are clearly creative and a bit ambitious with huge word counts, their priorities lean more toward consistency, enthusiasm, and kindness than sharp-edged ambition or intellectual elitism, making Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko
Hayley Kiyoko’s Girls Like Girls fits Alfie’s loud, joyful queerness and love of sapphic ships. Their timeline is full of affectionate chaos over wlw dynamics like Polytrix, Rumira, and Zoerumi, from “Zoerumi snippet so good I accidentally punched myself in the eye” to them gleefully announcing “#zoerumi smoochingg”. The song’s theme of girls openly loving girls mirrors their constant shipping brainrot and polycule dreaming, as seen in “There are two wolves inside of me. One wants to draw Rumi and the other wants to draw Zoemira… (the wolves should kiss and make polytrix)”. It also matches their playful, emotional intensity—dramatically fixated on fictional women’s arms in “Rumi's arms. I was thinking about them during the last few hours of my shift. They saved me” and happily spiraling about polytrix superhero brainworms in “The polytrix superhero brainworms are infesting me AGAINNNNNNN (scratches at my artbook)”. Overall, it captures the unapologetically gay, shippy, and heartfelt vibe that defines Alfie’s online presence.
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