Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Academic Excellence: Maintains high grades despite health struggles, reporting “100% as my final grade” and getting “an a+ in both classes”.
- Versatile Skillset: Demonstrates technical and creative range in “Photography, graphic design, coding, web development”.
- Artistic Vision: Shows an eye for aesthetics through interests in “Horror, alt rock, and art” and expressing the “urge to draw” images.
- Strong Diligence: Capable of intense focus, once having “wrote a 10 page paper and designed an entire website yesterday”.
- Social Awareness: Uses their platform to signal support for global causes, specifically stating “FREE PALESTINE” in their bio.
Weaknesses:
- Self-Destructive Tendencies: Admits to “irreparable damage” to their health and struggles with the “urge to c*t”.
- Severe Body Dysmorphia: Obsesses over physical appearance, feeling “Boney but not enough” and wanting “11 lines” to be tighter.
- Chronic Health Neglect: Suffers from “chronic migraines”, “acid reflux”, and “severe malnutrition” due to an eating disorder.
- Emotional Instability: Reports frequent distress, such as “crying in my sleep” and feeling “obnoxiously miserable”.
- Pessimistic Outlook: Expresses a sense of hopelessness, wondering if they are “stuck in purgatory” or “slowly rotting”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Allister strongly aligns with Lisa Simpson's identity as a high-achieving, socially conscious overachiever who frequently grapples with profound existential melancholy. Like Lisa, Allister is academically driven, celebrating that they “got a 100%” on a quiz despite immense stress, while also sharing Lisa's passion for activism as seen in their FREE PALESTINE bio. However, both figures mirror each other in their internal struggles with body image and perfectionism; Allister’s admission that they are “Boney but not enough” echoes Lisa’s own canonical battles with self-worth. Ultimately, Allister's mix of creative pursuits in Media Arts and the feeling that they are “Slowly rotting” captures the 'sad-girl' intellectual archetype that Lisa Simpson represents for a modern generation.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Allister demonstrates strong Introversion through frequent posts about solitary activities and internal struggles, such as “Every night I'm crying in my sleep cause I'm still dreaming about you”. Their Intuitive side is reflected in their interest in Media Arts and abstract, poetic reflections like “Sometimes I seriously wonder if I died in 2019 and have been stuck in purgatory since”. As a Feeling type, their content is deeply emotional and value-driven, often focusing on personal pain or aesthetic sensitivity, exemplified by “I could be good, but it wouldn't matter”. Finally, they show Perceiving traits through a lack of rigid structure, procrastinating on schoolwork, and making spontaneous declarations like “Ok im sick of this body im losing 10 pounds”.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Media Arts assignment? Because I’d spend all night designing a website just to prove I'm 100% dedicated to you.
- Forget the British, I’m signing all my messages to you with an 'x'—no translation needed.
- I promise I’m way better than a Fig Bar, even if you did just suddenly realize how good they are.
- Is your name Pinterest? Because you’re exactly the 'Fashion, Mood, and Art' I’ve been looking for.
- I’m no Ryan Gosling in a Goosebumps episode, but I’d definitely help you navigate a bare parking lot any night.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Media Arts senior & 4.0 student specializing in web dev and design. Usually found coding new sites or hunting for vintage Cartier. Reachable via DM for projects.– @AllisterAvarice
Your signature cocktail
The 11-Line Lemonade
This cocktail captures Allister’s juxtaposition of academic perfectionism and physical fragility. The sharp citrus base honors their claim that “Lemons are really the best fruit ever”, while the high-proof spirit mirrors the stress of a student who says, “I'm locking the fuck in” before acing a quiz. The bitter notes and pink hue reflect a darker aesthetic, specifically the “Pink Xanax, 80s Cartier” lifestyle and the physical toll of being “Boney but not enough”. It is a drink for someone who feels they are “Slowly rotting” while maintaining a 100% grade point average.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Allister demonstrates a strong commitment to academic excellence and creative pursuits, often celebrating perfect grades and complex projects. They shared their pride in achievement through tweets like “I've been stressing out over a quiz all week and I got a 100%” and “I really wrote a 10 page paper and designed an entire website yesterday”. As a Media Arts major, their Ravenclaw-coded love for creativity and skill-building is evident in their bio's list of interests: “Photography, graphic design, coding, web development”. This focus on intellect and craft, even while struggling with personal health, highlights a characteristically Ravenclaw priority of learning and creation. Furthermore, they display the house's analytical wit and curiosity when questioning things like “Why do coffee creamer brands insist on stating they're non dairy and still insist on putting a milk derived ingredient”.
Your movie
Your song
Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey
The song's themes of toxic romance and self-destructive glamour perfectly mirror Allister’s digital persona, which blends aesthetic obsession with severe illness. Allister frequently posts lyrics about yearning and heartbreak, such as “Every night I'm crying in my sleep cause I'm still dreaming about you”, while simultaneously documenting a long-term struggle with anorexia, noting “Being severely underweight is the most miserable experience and yet I can't seem to learn my lesson”. Like the song's juxtaposition of sweetness and harmful habits, Allister oscillates between academic success—boasting “I got an a+ in both classes”—and physical deterioration, admitting to “Slowly rotting”. The track's moody, alternative pop vibe aligns with their interest in horror and alt rock, capturing the specific tragedy of someone who feels “boney but not enough” while chasing an unattainable ideal.
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