
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They’re closest to Lisa Simpson: politically sharp, openly left-wing, and constantly frustrated with how stupid and unfair everything feels. Their anger at capitalism and energy companies in tweets like “vai tomando o livre mercado” and “gente esperando ansiosamente alguem organizar de ir tacar fogo no predio da enel” mirrors Lisa’s anti-corporate, activist streak. The user’s academic anxiety and perfectionism about exams, seen in posts like “3 anos de estudos nao compensam o deficit de desempenho...” and “estou me sentindo pior do que quando meu pai morreu por causa de uma prova”, fit Lisa’s overachieving, emotionally intense relationship with school. Their thoughtful cultural tastes (sociology books, Laerte, criticism of self-help and financial BS) in tweets like “livro de autoajuda pra todo lado... tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste” echo Lisa’s bookish, critical nature. At the same time, they’re far more vulgar, queer, and chaotic than Lisa on the surface, but underneath the swearing and shitposting style of “a heterossexualidade é uma prisão”, there’s the same mix of moral outrage, idealism, and brainy sensitivity that defines her.

Your MBTI personality Type
They show a very outward, high-energy, people-focused style that leans Extrovert: they talk about parties, drinking and friends (“e o querido amigo da ana e do martinho que levou tabaco pqp abençoado rapaz logo quando eu esqueci meu maço e meu cybershot”; “minha mae: o filha esses meninos ai nao sao que bebem bebidas pesadas não ne😡 eu: naoo mae corta pro martinho fazendo a gente pedir simplesmente a bebida mais cara da festa”), and complain about coworkers and classmates constantly, suggesting they’re highly engaged with the social world rather than withdrawn. Their bio references philosophical/time questions and an emotional, metaphorical take on relationships (“where does the difference between the past and the future come from? … before you and after you. yours? it's all starting to blur”), pointing to Intuition over concrete Sensing, and they frequently rant in a pattern-oriented, theoretical way about society, politics and culture, like in “livro de autoajuda pra todo lado, '''educação''' financeira, cafe com deus pai… tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”. They are intensely value-driven and emotionally expressive, favoring Feeling: they react with moral outrage about cruelty (“por mim os meninos que mataram o cachorro deveriam ter todas as orelhas cortadas fora…”), rant about perceived injustice in exams and education (“3 anos de estudos nao compensam… vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”), and frame much of their judgment in terms of fairness and care for the oppressed (“insalubre conviver com direitista”). Their life appears somewhat chaotic and driven by mood and impulse rather than strict structure, suggesting Perceiving: they oscillate between heavy study and gaming binges (“esse fds joguei overwatch por uma quantidade de horas totalmente repugnante”; “que vontade insuportavel perturbante louca de jogar bg3”), and often vent about disorganization and last-minute stress with exams and tech issues (“fui ontem fazer exercicio pelo mec enem e meu note simplesmente deu TELA AZUL..”). Put together — expressive, socially engaged, idealistic, emotionally intense, and somewhat unstructured — ENFP fits them better than more reserved or rigid types like INFP or ENFJ.

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USP freshman, part-time gamer, full-time overthinker. Once heard ‘Estados Desunidos’ on a bus and decided that explained everything.– @amanteegoista

Your signature cocktail
This drink starts with cachaça infused with burnt sugar and coffee grounds, for all those late-study, early-work days and the vow to keep going even when a test makes you doubt your whole existence, like in “3 anos de estudos nao compensam... vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”. Homemade guava-lime bitters mirror the mix of sweet sarcasm and sharp critique in rants about men, liberals and annoying coworkers, such as “ai namoral depois eu falo q homem é mais devagar mesmo e saio como errada” and “lembrete de que nao existe empresa progressista”. A splash of red energy drink reduction channels their cracked-gamer, marathon vibe from nights of Overwatch and Baldur’s Gate 3, like “esse fds joguei overwatch por uma quantidade de horas totalmente repugnante” and “que vontade insuportavel perturbante louca de jogar bg3 pqp jogo bom do caralho”. Sparkling water with a pinch of sea salt represents the tears, resilience and eventual payoff of passing into USP after all the Fuvest/Enem anguish, embodied in “vou passar na fuvest e postar um video tacando fogo nas provas do enem” and the victory scream “EU SOU USP PORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”. Finally, the smoked rosemary sprig evokes the dramatic, slightly unhinged, revolutionary streak — the same energy as “cigarraço amanhã galera” and wanting to set certain predinhos on fire in “gente esperando ansiosamente alguem organizar de ir tacar fogo no predio da enel”, all rising from the glass like a tiny personal riot.

Your Hogwarts House
This user shows strong Gryffindor-style boldness and a tendency to loudly stand up for their beliefs, often in a confrontational, impulsive way. For instance, they openly fantasize about extreme retaliation against animal abusers in “por mim os meninos que mataram o cachorro deveriam ter todas as orelhas cortadas fora com faca de serra sem anestesia sem nada”, and rail against right-wing politics even within their own family in “hj mandei minha mae ir cagar na mesa do alexandre de moraes pq ela falou mal dos esquerdistas dnv pqp insalubre conviver com direitista”. Their posts are full of righteous anger and a readiness to call people out, like when they complain about a coworker with no filter in “uma putinha aqui do meu trabalho falou q nao dava pra saber doq eu to vestida ... seja moggada eu estou linda e vc nem fantasiada ta !”. At the same time, they show emotional intensity and a willingness to throw themselves into difficult challenges, such as grinding for exams despite suffering in “vou passar na fuvest e postar um video tacando fogo nas provas do enem. essa é minha motivação agora” and the chain of tweets about how deeply a test affected their self-worth. There is some Ravenclaw-like interest in ideas and culture (e.g., sociology, Laerte, and critiques of self-help publishing in “passei numa livraria hj, perguntei se tinha 3 livros classicos de sociologia... tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”), but their defining traits are passion, combativeness, and moral fervor rather than detached curiosity. Overall, the combination of outspoken activism, emotional intensity, and willingness to clash with others fits Gryffindor far better than the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
Their timeline mixes sharp political anger, exhaustion, and self-deprecating humor with a kind of stubborn, emotional resilience that fits Lana Del Rey’s confessional melancholy. They swing from academic and political frustration (“passei numa livraria hj… livro de autoajuda pra todo lado… tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”, “lembrete de que nao existe empresa progressista”) to intense personal despair about exams and self-worth (“estou me sentindo pior do que quando meu pai morreu por causa de uma prova”, “3 anos de estudos… vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”). At the same time, they keep going, celebrating victories like getting into USP (“EU SOU USP PORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”) and finding moments of joy in music and games (“escutando electric chapel no trabalho unbothered”, “que vontade insuportavel… de jogar bg3 pqp jogo bom do caralho”). The song’s themes of feeling unstable, alienated, and intellectually/hyper-emotionally overloaded while still clinging to a fragile sense of hope mirrors their rants about mental health, politics, and surviving grind culture. The mix of biting irony, vulnerability, and persistence in their tweets makes “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it” a strong match for their online persona.

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