Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally-expressive: Openly shares anxiety, sadness, and joy, like detailed vents about exam stress and self-worth in “3 anos de estudos nao compensam…” and crying before/after ENEM in “sessao de choro antes do enem ✅”.
- Politically-engaged: Shows clear political awareness and positions, e.g. criticism of liberals and right-wingers in “cara meu deus essa hora do dia liberal no twitter enchendo saco”, anti–livre mercado in “vai tomando o livre mercado”, and defense of leftists in “insalubre conviver com direitista”.
- Empathetic: Displays strong emotional response to suffering, like outrage over animal cruelty in “os meninos que mataram o cachorro deveriam ter todas as orelhas cortadas” and sadness about Brazil’s state of reading culture in “livro de autoajuda pra todo lado… tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”.
- Self-aware: Recognizes own limits and insecurities, e.g. admitting difficulty with math and natural aptitude in humanities in “rant passei a vida inteira tentando me convencer…”, and acknowledging unconventional English grammar use in “eu não sei conjugar os tempos verbais em ingles da forma correta”.
- Humorous: Uses irony and hyperbole for comedic effect, like mocking São Paulo distance norms in “qualquer paulistano sabe que qualquer lugar p onde vc quer ir eh 20 minutinhos”, and joking about corporate life in “trabalhar em dezembro realmente eh uma experiencia de so vir bater ponto”.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive-language: Frequently uses hostile phrases like “se mata” toward others in “vou nem responder essa maldita… fia se mata faz favor fia” and “que menina escrota da porra pqp bicho kkkk se mata”.
- Harsh-judgment: Judges people’s looks and behavior intensely, calling strangers “o casal de pessoas mais feias” in “na minha frente no metro acho que o casal de pessoas mais feias” and saying very ugly people should stay home in “se vc for muito feio favor ficar em casa”.
- Impulse-ranting: Responds to frustration with explosive rants, such as attacking a teacher for unclear explanations in “porra puta que pariu essa filha da puta nao explica nada” and wishing violent outcomes for coworkers in “uma putinha aqui do meu trabalho falou q nao dava pra saber doq eu to vestida”.
- Self-destructive-urges: Mentions coping with academic pressure through harmful impulses, like wanting to self-harm or abuse substances in “vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”.
- Platform-burnout: Recognizes but continues using a platform that feels harmful, as in “pensando em parar de usar twitter de novo essa rede social me faz mal de vdd”, showing difficulty disengaging from a toxic online environment.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They’re closest to Lisa Simpson: politically sharp, openly left-wing, and constantly frustrated with how stupid and unfair everything feels. Their anger at capitalism and energy companies in tweets like “vai tomando o livre mercado” and “gente esperando ansiosamente alguem organizar de ir tacar fogo no predio da enel” mirrors Lisa’s anti-corporate, activist streak. The user’s academic anxiety and perfectionism about exams, seen in posts like “3 anos de estudos nao compensam o deficit de desempenho...” and “estou me sentindo pior do que quando meu pai morreu por causa de uma prova”, fit Lisa’s overachieving, emotionally intense relationship with school. Their thoughtful cultural tastes (sociology books, Laerte, criticism of self-help and financial BS) in tweets like “livro de autoajuda pra todo lado... tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste” echo Lisa’s bookish, critical nature. At the same time, they’re far more vulgar, queer, and chaotic than Lisa on the surface, but underneath the swearing and shitposting style of “a heterossexualidade é uma prisão”, there’s the same mix of moral outrage, idealism, and brainy sensitivity that defines her.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They show a very outward, high-energy, people-focused style that leans Extrovert: they talk about parties, drinking and friends (“e o querido amigo da ana e do martinho que levou tabaco pqp abençoado rapaz logo quando eu esqueci meu maço e meu cybershot”; “minha mae: o filha esses meninos ai nao sao que bebem bebidas pesadas não ne😡 eu: naoo mae corta pro martinho fazendo a gente pedir simplesmente a bebida mais cara da festa”), and complain about coworkers and classmates constantly, suggesting they’re highly engaged with the social world rather than withdrawn. Their bio references philosophical/time questions and an emotional, metaphorical take on relationships (“where does the difference between the past and the future come from? … before you and after you. yours? it's all starting to blur”), pointing to Intuition over concrete Sensing, and they frequently rant in a pattern-oriented, theoretical way about society, politics and culture, like in “livro de autoajuda pra todo lado, '''educação''' financeira, cafe com deus pai… tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”. They are intensely value-driven and emotionally expressive, favoring Feeling: they react with moral outrage about cruelty (“por mim os meninos que mataram o cachorro deveriam ter todas as orelhas cortadas fora…”), rant about perceived injustice in exams and education (“3 anos de estudos nao compensam… vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”), and frame much of their judgment in terms of fairness and care for the oppressed (“insalubre conviver com direitista”). Their life appears somewhat chaotic and driven by mood and impulse rather than strict structure, suggesting Perceiving: they oscillate between heavy study and gaming binges (“esse fds joguei overwatch por uma quantidade de horas totalmente repugnante”; “que vontade insuportavel perturbante louca de jogar bg3”), and often vent about disorganization and last-minute stress with exams and tech issues (“fui ontem fazer exercicio pelo mec enem e meu note simplesmente deu TELA AZUL..”). Put together — expressive, socially engaged, idealistic, emotionally intense, and somewhat unstructured — ENFP fits them better than more reserved or rigid types like INFP or ENFJ.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you’re really ‘descaradamente imoral’, I volunteer as your co-defendant — we can start our crimes by yelling ‘EU SOU USP PORRA’ together on campus and see what other laws of physics (and chemistry) we break.
- You said 3 years de cursinho não compensam nascer ruim em exatas… good thing I’m here for humanas: we can do a close reading of “before you and after you” and then write a new timeline called “before us and after us”.
- You: overwatch por uma quantidade repugnante de horas, viciado em BG3, apaixonado por jogo de cavaleira lésbica medieval. Me: absolutely ready to queue duo, romance your Tav, and let you carry me in every universe, digital or otherwise.
- You survived working on December 31st, liberal infestation on the timeline, AND São Paulo heat with Papai Noel de touca; statistically speaking, the next improbable miracle is you agreeing to go with me to the busp/ru sp and calling it a date.
- If the difference between past and future is ‘before you and after you’, então parabéns: I’ve officially entered the ‘after you’ era since I saw your USP scream tweet, and now every time I refresh my timeline I’m just checking if fate dropped my vestibular result with your @ on it.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
USP freshman, part-time gamer, full-time overthinker. Once heard ‘Estados Desunidos’ on a bus and decided that explained everything.– @amanteegoista
Your signature cocktail
Cigarraço USP Sour
This drink starts with cachaça infused with burnt sugar and coffee grounds, for all those late-study, early-work days and the vow to keep going even when a test makes you doubt your whole existence, like in “3 anos de estudos nao compensam... vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”. Homemade guava-lime bitters mirror the mix of sweet sarcasm and sharp critique in rants about men, liberals and annoying coworkers, such as “ai namoral depois eu falo q homem é mais devagar mesmo e saio como errada” and “lembrete de que nao existe empresa progressista”. A splash of red energy drink reduction channels their cracked-gamer, marathon vibe from nights of Overwatch and Baldur’s Gate 3, like “esse fds joguei overwatch por uma quantidade de horas totalmente repugnante” and “que vontade insuportavel perturbante louca de jogar bg3 pqp jogo bom do caralho”. Sparkling water with a pinch of sea salt represents the tears, resilience and eventual payoff of passing into USP after all the Fuvest/Enem anguish, embodied in “vou passar na fuvest e postar um video tacando fogo nas provas do enem” and the victory scream “EU SOU USP PORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”. Finally, the smoked rosemary sprig evokes the dramatic, slightly unhinged, revolutionary streak — the same energy as “cigarraço amanhã galera” and wanting to set certain predinhos on fire in “gente esperando ansiosamente alguem organizar de ir tacar fogo no predio da enel”, all rising from the glass like a tiny personal riot.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
This user shows strong Gryffindor-style boldness and a tendency to loudly stand up for their beliefs, often in a confrontational, impulsive way. For instance, they openly fantasize about extreme retaliation against animal abusers in “por mim os meninos que mataram o cachorro deveriam ter todas as orelhas cortadas fora com faca de serra sem anestesia sem nada”, and rail against right-wing politics even within their own family in “hj mandei minha mae ir cagar na mesa do alexandre de moraes pq ela falou mal dos esquerdistas dnv pqp insalubre conviver com direitista”. Their posts are full of righteous anger and a readiness to call people out, like when they complain about a coworker with no filter in “uma putinha aqui do meu trabalho falou q nao dava pra saber doq eu to vestida ... seja moggada eu estou linda e vc nem fantasiada ta !”. At the same time, they show emotional intensity and a willingness to throw themselves into difficult challenges, such as grinding for exams despite suffering in “vou passar na fuvest e postar um video tacando fogo nas provas do enem. essa é minha motivação agora” and the chain of tweets about how deeply a test affected their self-worth. There is some Ravenclaw-like interest in ideas and culture (e.g., sociology, Laerte, and critiques of self-help publishing in “passei numa livraria hj, perguntei se tinha 3 livros classicos de sociologia... tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”), but their defining traits are passion, combativeness, and moral fervor rather than detached curiosity. Overall, the combination of outspoken activism, emotional intensity, and willingness to clash with others fits Gryffindor far better than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - Lana Del Rey
Their timeline mixes sharp political anger, exhaustion, and self-deprecating humor with a kind of stubborn, emotional resilience that fits Lana Del Rey’s confessional melancholy. They swing from academic and political frustration (“passei numa livraria hj… livro de autoajuda pra todo lado… tem coisas no brasil que me deixam mt mt mt triste”, “lembrete de que nao existe empresa progressista”) to intense personal despair about exams and self-worth (“estou me sentindo pior do que quando meu pai morreu por causa de uma prova”, “3 anos de estudos… vontade desesperadora de me cortar usar droga beber ate vomitar”). At the same time, they keep going, celebrating victories like getting into USP (“EU SOU USP PORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”) and finding moments of joy in music and games (“escutando electric chapel no trabalho unbothered”, “que vontade insuportavel… de jogar bg3 pqp jogo bom do caralho”). The song’s themes of feeling unstable, alienated, and intellectually/hyper-emotionally overloaded while still clinging to a fragile sense of hope mirrors their rants about mental health, politics, and surviving grind culture. The mix of biting irony, vulnerability, and persistence in their tweets makes “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it” a strong match for their online persona.
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