Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Cultural Pride: Eden celebrates their Chinese heritage, specifically praising the “verbal language” of Mandarin and correcting their partner's food “dumplings” misconceptions.
- Academic Resilience: Despite significant stress, they push through difficult subjects like Physics, celebrating when they are “FINALLY DONE” with the semester.
- Gratitude: They express deep appreciation for their long-term relationship, stating they “couldn't be more grateful” for their partner and life.
- Observational Humor: Eden finds humor in everyday absurdities, such as a physics TA looking like “JERMA” or a “CUCK TURTLE”.
- Emotional Honesty: They are open about their mental state, admitting when they are “crashing out” or feeling “paralyzed” by anxiety.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive Language: They frequently resort to violent hyperbole when frustrated, such as hoping a roommate will “die in your sleep” over thermostat settings.
- Poor Food Safety: Eden admittedly ate salmon sashimi that was “defrosting” for 13 hours at room temperature before being refrigerated.
- Impulsivity: They make sudden, drastic decisions without much foresight, like “impulsively” cutting off six inches of hair.
- Conflict Avoidance: Instead of direct confrontation, they vent about their “bitch ass roommate” online while enduring the stress of missing items.
- Chronic Procrastination: They struggle with academic discipline, noting they “cannot study at all ever” even when faced with multiple upcoming exams.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Despite the user's edgy and often hyperbolic language, they are a high-achieving college student deeply stressed by academic rigor, particularly in complex subjects like biology and physics. Much like Lisa, Eden struggles with “unending crippling anxiety right before finals” and finds herself surrounded by peers who don't always meet her intellectual or ethical standards. They possess a sharp, cynical wit and a strong moral compass regarding social issues, exemplified by their disdain for the Governor of Texas or their critique of people with “no manners or fear instilled in them”. Furthermore, Eden finds solace in high-brow or niche media like Phoebe Bridgers, Normal People, and Fleabag, reflecting the Lisa-esque trait of being a refined, slightly isolated intellectual in a world that often feels “beyond cooked”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Eden displays Extroversion through a highly expressive, externalized reaction to their environment and frequent tagging of others, such as “my bitchass gayass hb makes me want to rip my hair out”. Their Intuition is evident in their interest in media tropes and 'lore,' seen when they miss the “bts hyyh era and all the lore and theories”. Despite blunt language, they prioritize Feeling, often sharing deep emotional states or values, like being “grateful life is beautiful” or “paralyzed by unending crippling anxiety”. Finally, their Perceiving trait is clear from a spontaneous, disorganized lifestyle, admitted when they “impulsively cut off 5 6 inches of hair” and struggle with study schedules.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you my physics cumulative final? Because you're 75 pages of everything I've ever wanted to study and I’m ready to dedicate my whole night to you.
- Forget the thermostat being set to 79—the only reason it's getting this hot in here is because of you. If you're cold, you can just wear my jacket.
- I promise I’m a better catch than that Jollibee ube pie; I’ll never burn you, but I definitely have a sweet spot for you.
- Is your name Mandarin? Because whether you're 'tā', 'tā', or 'tā', you’re the only person I want to talk to for the rest of the night.
- I’d execute a 7-point turn in a U-Haul van just to get a coffee with you—as long as we can listen to Phoebe Bridgers' entire discography on the way.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
STEM student & proud Texan-Chinese navigating life's cumulative finals. Ask me about physics, the perfect udon, or why the thermostat belongs at 72 degrees.– @angelcrossings
Your signature cocktail
The 75-Page Cumulative Crash
This drink captures the chaotic energy of a 21-year-old student balancing physics finals and roommate drama in the Texas heat. The strong whiskey base reflects her unfiltered attitude toward the “governor of texas” and people who “stare at u so fucking bad,” while the Red Bull represents the caffeine-fueled panic of an “exam tomorrow .. exam friday .. exam monday.” The ube syrup adds a pop of color for someone who loves “more stars” and “punisher colors,” though it might “squirt scalding hot cream” if you aren't careful. Finally, the oversized 'boulder' ice cube is a nod to her noticing “that big ass boulder on her finger” while scrolling through her timeline.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Eden displays the classic Slytherin trait of being fiercely protective of their own well-being and space, often reacting with sharp, self-preservational aggression toward those who disrupt it, such as their roommate who they hope “smites her down for being a thieving ass animal abusing gaslighting victim playing ass bitch”. They exhibit a pragmatic and occasionally cynical worldview, notably when discussing their career backup plan as a funeral director if they “make a big oopsie” in their current path. Their resourcefulness and blunt honesty are further highlighted by their willingness to cull social circles, stating they were “called... insane for blocking ppl on spotify”. Ultimately, their intense loyalty is reserved for a select few inner-circle members like their partner or sister, while they maintain a haughty, judgmental wit toward the general public, particularly when they “hate this crowded ass bucees u all need to die”.
Your movie
Your song
Supercut - Lorde
eden’s digital presence feels like a chaotic yet vibrant collage of life’s high and low points, perfectly mirroring the intense emotional fluctuations found in Lorde's music. They explicitly mention their love for the artist, noting that “lorde dropping a new snippet is the biggest recession indicator but I love her bad”. The song's theme of replaying moments matches eden’s tendency to document everything from the “beautiful” milestones of a year-long relationship to the “unending crippling anxiety” of college finals. Whether they are “giggling so hard” over reality TV or venting about a “thieving ass” roommate, their feed is a literal supercut of a 21-year-old’s unfiltered reality. The song's driving, slightly frantic energy captures the essence of someone who experiences life with such intensity that they feel they are “going to hell” over a physics exam.
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