angeltdick
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Resilient: Despite trauma declarations like 'I AM A RAPE VICTIM' and being 'emotionally terrorized', they still attend EMT class and celebrate wins such as 'TWO colleges have already gotten back to me'.
- Direct: They state things bluntly â 'youâre just a piece of shit' â and refuse to soften their voice, which keeps communication unambiguous.
- Practical: Signing up for and attending EMT classes ('goin 2 my emt class ^_^' and 'took emt instructorâs vitals') shows hands-on, usable skills beyond performative online behavior.
- Playful: They treat petty fantasies and gross contests like jokes â e.g. 'winning the pissing yourself competition is a high honor' â showing a mischievous sense of humor.
- Stylistic: Frequent fashion/appearance posts like 'im the best dressed at the playground /ref' and 'mall haul' show attention to aesthetic presentation.
Weaknesses:
- Combative: Their tweets often attack others explicitly â e.g. 'manifesting... scale... 250' and mocking exes â which alienates some people.
- Impulsive: They fear accidental overshares ('utterly terrified that one day Iâll lose track of what account im on') and frequently post raw venting content without filters.
- Vindictive: Imagining sabotage of an exâs scale ('i want it to malfunction and say 80...') shows a readiness to take petty revenge rather than pause.
- Self-sabotaging: Publicly oscillating between vulnerability and cruelty (e.g. 'I AM A RAPE VICTIM' vs 'i am very fucking MEAN') can complicate support networks and relationships.
- Insensitive: Some posts show a tendency toward harsh commentary about bodies and groups ('if u think 12 or more is perfect... i have some not nice things to say') which can hurt others.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Bart is the mischievous, trouble-making kid who delights in pranks, taunts authority, and thrives on performative cruelty â a close parallel to Sammy's trolling and theatrical vents like petty revenge fantasies and playground-style boasts. Sammyâs willingness to egg on chaos, mock exes, and post provocative pictures matches Bartâs prankster energy and refusal to behave quietly.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
ESTP fits Sammyâs persona: extraverted (frequent photo posts and theatrical vents like 'hai everyone goes whoâs doing a college campus tour this weekend!!!'), sensing and present-focused (lots of concrete, sensory posts: 'grilled steak taco', 'mall haul', 'gettin my bangs trimmed later'), thinking and blunt ('youâre just a piece of shit' and 'i am very fucking MEAN !' show logic-first, no-frills judgments), and perceiving/spontaneous (fear of accidental posts, impulsive fantasies like sabotaging a scale: 'manifesting that the next time he steps on that scale it horribly malfunctions'). These behaviors reveal someone who acts quickly, speaks plainly, loves high-energy situations (EMT class), and adapts on the fly â classic ESTP traits.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you an EMT kit? Because every time I see you my heart skips a beat and I volunteer to take your vitals.
- If you were a scale I'd break you on purpose â but only so I could weigh how much I like you.
- Iâll trade you a mall haul and a grilled steak taco for one date â and I promise to bring my best playground outfit.
- Do you need a partner for your campus tour? Iâll dress you better than anyone and keep you laughing when class gets brutal.
- Iâd risk posting on the wrong account just to tell you in public how dangerously cute you are â and then blame it on being gross and mean.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sammy â 19 âą he/it âą EMT-in-training & college hopeful. Priv vent account: brutally honest, darkly funny, and a little dangerous; survivor of trauma, loud about it. Style nerd, snack enthusiast, and not here for OOMFs. Be warned: Iâm gross, Iâm mean, and Iâm learning to be kind(er).â @angeltdick
Your signature cocktail
The Mean Marg
âThe Mean Margâ is bright, a little bitter, and stylishâjust like Sammy. The blood orange nods to their 'orange. i wanna get a hearse' goth-aesthetic quip, while smoked salt gives it that sharp, cheeky edge matching 'i am very fucking MEAN !'. The black sugar rim is for the dramatic presentation that a self-declared 'best dressed' person would love, and the tequila provides the reckless, giggling warmth youâd expect during an impulsive mall haul or an EMT class celebration.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Slytherin fits Sammy's blend of ambition, cunning, and self-preservation. They openly declare 'i am very fucking MEAN !' and fantasize small manipulations like a scale malfunction ('manifesting that the next time he steps on that scale it horribly malfunctions and says 250'), which shows a willingness to scheme. Their focus on getting into college ('TWO colleges have already gotten back to me') and practical career training as an EMT shows ambition and pragmatism. At the same time, the survival instincts revealed in trauma statements ('I AM A RAPE VICTIM') reflect the resilience and guarded loyalty often found in Slytherins.
Your movie
Your song
bad guy - Billie Eilish
Billie Eilishâs 'bad guy' matches Sammyâs deliberate, snarky persona â they self-identify as mean ('i am very fucking MEAN !') and take pleasure in provocation. The songâs playful menace and ironic wink pair well with Sammyâs petty fantasies ('manifesting... scale') and theatrical venting, balancing dark humor with catchy, youthful rebellion.
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