
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user’s profile shows a self‑aggrandizing, highly erudite persona who constantly references ancient Greek myths, biblical theology, and uses archaic language – traits that match Sideshow Bob’s cultured, over‑the‑top speech, e.g., 'Ussher Analysis (Part 4), Grecian Myths (Part 3), Dictys the Cretan Translation (Book 1)' and 'The Son does not actively spirate the Holy Ghost with the Father… this chart … is thus heretical.' He also boasts grandiose statements like 'I, the great Akatosh, along with Other Paul, have 9.2k followers', echoing Bob’s self‑importance. The user’s hostile tweets such as 'STOP THE GOYIM' and 'The Papists have gone insane' reflect the villain’s hateful, spiteful monologues. Finally, his obsession with classical literature and ancient warfare, illustrated by 'Narrator voice: The average ancient Greek male was, in fact, highly muscular…', parallels Bob’s love of Greek tragedy and opera.

Your MBTI personality Type
They are highly extroverted, constantly broadcasting opinions and confronting others, as seen in "The problem with Homeric discourse is that people will just make shit up to boost their opinions" and "Leftists the moment you mention Israelis". Their focus is on abstract, speculative ideas, for example "Nostratic is Noahic. Few will understand" and "Young Earth Creationism is the lone bulwark against racism". They favor logical analysis over personal sentiment, evident in "The Son does not actively spirate the Holy Ghost with the Father... is thus heretical" and "Almost finished with an article explaining the Anglican view of the Filioque". Their lifestyle is flexible and exploratory, jumping between projects like "Even though I have the third Grecian myths article nearly finished, I'm going to start working on the fourth Ussher article and release it first for variety's sake" and "I'm going to make a YouTube channel just because of how much Annihilationism is dogshit from the Biblical and Patristic standpoint".

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Your new Twitter bio
Historian of myth & liturgy, Substack writer on Ussher & Greek myths, Anglican apologist, tea lover, and occasional dragon‑god role‑player.– @AnglicanAkatosh

Your signature cocktail
The cocktail blends London dry gin, echoing Anglican tradition and the “tea time” noted in the bio. A drizzle of honey mead references the Grecian myths and ancient Greek themes that appear in the Substack posts. A dash of absinthe brings the dragon god of time vibe, while blood orange juice adds a bright, fiery edge that mirrors confrontational tweets like "STOP THE GOYIM". A pinch of activated charcoal gives the drink a dark, brooding depth, reflecting anti‑Papist rants such as "The Papists have gone insane". Together the flavors create a complex, contentious sip, just as the user observes "The problem with Homeric discourse is that people will just make shit up to boost their opinions".

Your Hogwarts House
The user shows strong ambition and desire for influence, e.g., "I, the great Akatosh, along with Other Paul, have 9.2k followers". They are cunning in shaping theological arguments, like "The Son does not actively spirate the Holy Ghost with the Father... this chart rejects the monarchia of the Father, instead promoting a diarchy... heretical." They demonstrate a willingness to manipulate and dominate discourse, as seen in "STOP THE GOYIM" and "I'm tired of these goys man". They prioritize personal power and strategic planning over communal values, evident in "My next Substack posts should be: Ussher Analysis (Part 4), Grecian Myths (Part 3), Dictys the Cretan Translation (Book 1). Yes, I like installments." This combination of ambition, cunning, and self‑promotion aligns most closely with Slytherin traits.

Your movie

Your song
The defiant refrain 'I did it my way' mirrors AnglicanAkatosh’s insistence on doing things his own way, as he says 'I don’t care about yous Twitter Puritans' and 'All I wanna do is update my pfp on Substack bro'. He repeatedly attacks groups he dislikes, for example 'STOP THE GOYIM' and 'The Papists have gone insane', echoing the song’s rebellious spirit. His obsession with historic and mythic projects like 'Ussher Analysis (Part 4)' and 'Grecian Myths (Part 3)' shows a life lived on his own terms, just as the lyrics reflect a life fully lived. Even his theological provocations ('The Son does not actively spirate the Holy Ghost… heretical') fit the song’s celebration of personal conviction over convention. In short, 'My Way' captures his unapologetic individuality and his determination to march to his own drum despite criticism.

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AnglicanAkatosh
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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