Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Darkly-witty: They use sharp humor and wordplay even on heavy topics, like joking about being in the '0.01% top of intelligence' in “i, in the 0.01% top of intelligence: Breed taste Better than Key”.
- Self-aware: They reflect critically on their own posting and persona, as in “sometimes i read my own tweets and wish i had a time machine” and calling themselves 'the Face of Evil' in “i'm th Face of Evil Evie”.
- Emotionally-honest: They openly share distress, dysphoria, and self-hate without sugarcoating, like “beautiful girls also make me want to kill myself Tbh” and “This app has left me with nothing but burden”.
- Creatively-expressive: They frequently reference music, writing, and performance, such as wanting a screamo band in “i need to start a screamo band so i can finally Stop disappointing everyone” and complaining that 'nobod care about evie music' in “nobod care about evie music Because evie too niche”.
- Intellectually-curious: They cite writers, philosophy, and literature—Baudrillard, Camus, Osamu Dazai, Divine Comedy—in tweets like “put your Baudrillard on my Jean” and “osamu dazai writes exactly liek how i would write at 12”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: They repeatedly reference suicide and worthlessness, such as “gona create a crypto wallet to let the people know my life has no fucking value anymore” and “my birthday . Do i kill myslef ?”.
- Body-obsessed: They fixate harshly on their body and weight, including thinspo and estrogen changes, like “All this estrogen making me fat as a b word say Bye Bye AnorexicThug” and “Thinspo has a far higher body count than Mao Zedong”.
- Provocatively-offensive: They lean into edgy language and slurs for shock value, e.g. “the only bad thing i do is KILL EVERYBODY and i'm chinese” and the raceplay chatbot idea in “in the works of developing a Raceplay Chatbot named 'ChudAI'”.
- Help-avoidant: They frame seeking support very negatively, as in “'seek professional help' is synonymous with 'KILL YOURSELF'”, which suggests resistance to constructive help despite evident distress.
- Paranoid-thinking: They describe being monitored and agents filming them in “i'm being Stalked and Monitored so talk to me” and “i'm pulling hella pranks on the government agents INCESSANTLY tryign to film my frontyard”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, in a dark, terminally-online, zoomer-mutated form. Like Lisa, they’re hyper-verbal, self-aware, and steeped in books, music, and philosophy, dropping references to Baudrillard and Jean in “put your Baudrillard on my Jean” and comparing themself to Nietzsche in “i am the guy from Orchid when he said he was Nietzsche Because i am also Nietzsche”. Their bleak intelligence and depressive self-loathing mirror Lisa’s episodes of existential despair, like when they say “i'm way too fuckn old to kill myself” and “my birthday . Do i kill myslef ?”. They have a strong moral and political consciousness, but it’s filtered through irony and online toxicity, visible in tweets like “Thinspo has a far higher body count than Mao Zedong” and “Christ was a Chud, a sensitive young One at that.”. Even their sense of being an outsider prodigy, irritated that no one cares about their art, echoes Lisa’s frustrated gifted-child energy: “nobod care about evie music Because evie too niche Fuck you”. Overall, they read like a hyper-online, queer, despairing Lisa who traded the sax for screamo, Baudrillard memes, and gender chaos.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
They read as an Extravert: they constantly perform for an audience, oversharing and baiting interaction, e.g. asking for engagement in “#DickRates i'm lonely As Fuck like my tweets” and openly narrating being monitored or stalked in “i'm being Stalked and Monitored so talk to me”. Their humor is heavily conceptual and referential rather than concrete, suggesting Intuition: they riff on philosophical and literary ideas like “AGP Camus: one must imagine Sissy fetishists happy” and “i am the guy from Orchid when he said he was Nietzsche Because i am also Nietzsche”, and play with meta-internet culture in “the most potent ragebait is Opinion of Normal Guy”. They show a sharp, abrasive, debate-clown style that fits Thinking over soft diplomacy: they attack bands and ideas bluntly in “black midi rlly the worst fucking band in the world” and “My Chemical Romance pisses me off could he not have just overdosed in those 12 years ?”, even when their emotional pain leaks through in tweets like “beautiful girls also make me want to kill myself Tbh”. Their life appears chaotic, improvisational and unstructured, consistent with Perceiving: they impulsively propose things like “after downing 3 bottles of vodka, i've decided to try get my Driving License once and for all”, joke about wild projects such as “in the works of developing a Raceplay Chatbot named 'ChudAI'”, and treat transition, music, and self-destruction as shifting experiments rather than planned arcs in “i'm going to quit everything and Hopefully synthesize estrogen in my bathtub” and “heyyy okay evie is back Can we get th motion machine rolling ? Please ?”. Altogether, the provocative extroversion, abstract memetic humor, cutting argumentativeness, and chaotic spontaneity align most closely with ENTP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If thinspo has a higher body count than Mao, then me crushing on you after that ‘Thinspo has a far higher body count than Mao Zedong’ tweet is probably my most dangerous ideology yet.
- You said “Christ was a Chud” — if that’s true, then I’m ready to be your heretic disciple, skip the divine comedy, and go straight to worshipping your Letterboxd‑worthy arthouse porn era.
- Ever since you tweeted “i’m way too fuckn old to kill myself,” I’ve been thinking: good, that gives us more time to start that screamo band you wanted and argue about why Black Midi actually *don’t* deserve the firing squad.
- You learning David Foster Wallace from I Set My Friends on Fire at 10 and getting talked out of conversion therapy by an AI chatbot is the most ‘hyper‐specific Tumblr tragicomedy’ lore ever — can I audition to play the love interest in the biopic?
- You said “sometimes i read my own tweets and wish i had a time machine so i could procreate with myself for being so clever and witty” — I don’t have a time machine, but I do have terrible judgment and a free evening if you want to collaborate on poor decisions instead.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Evie | trans girl, screamo enthusiast & reluctant main character. Once almost synthesized estrogen in a bathtub instead of finishing a demo.– @AnorexicThug
Your signature cocktail
The Estrogen Thinspo Chudtini
This drink hits like an identity crisis in a martini glass: high-proof and volatile, just like the way they say “after downing 3 bottles of vodka, i've decided to try get my Driving License once and for all”. The overproof vodka shot is their self-destructive intensity and gleeful edge-lord energy, the kind of person who tweets “i'm like . Lowkey the worst person in th world”. Pink grapefruit juice brings a sour-femme brightness that mirrors their transition chaos and body feelings in “All this estrogen making me fat as a b word say Bye Bye AnorexicThug” and “realistic tarnsition goal ? Help Me”. The absinthe rinse is a nod to their literary, depressive, hyper-online brain, pulling from lines like “osamu dazai writes exactly liek how i would write at 12 as a Babbling Buffoon (quite Depressive and really Molested)” and “is everything meaning Nothing to everyone else Or just me N elliott smith”. A top-up of sparkling rosé keeps it cute, petty, and performatively glamorous, matching the way they flex about being niche and overlooked in “nobod care about evie music Because evie too niche Fuck you” and their love of posing, posting, and serving in “serving brick owens ...”. Finally, the dash of saline is the literal taste of tears and salt, echoing the suicidal deadpan of “SUICIDE, is it for you? (Quiz)” and the way they turn pain into punchlines like “Thinspo has a far higher body count than Mao Zedong”.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their dominant traits are intense wit, constant meta-commentary, and an almost compulsive need to intellectualize everything, which aligns most closely with Ravenclaw. They frame even self-loathing and dysphoria as philosophy or absurdist joke, e.g. “AGP Camus: one must imagine Sissy fetishists happy” and “is everything meaning Nothing to everyone else Or just me N elliott smith”, showing a habit of turning their inner life into abstract reflection. Their feed is riddled with literary and cultural references that they clearly enjoy playing with intellectually rather than just consuming: “osamu dazai writes exactly liek how i would write at 12 as a Babbling Buffoon (quite Depressive and really Molested)”, “put your Baudrillard on my Jean”, and “the Divine Comedy misleading AF . i ain't even laugh Once (1 time)”. They are self-aware about their own cleverness and writing, as seen in “sometimes i read my own tweets and wish i had a time machine so i could procreate with myself for being so clever and witty”, which shows they value intellect and wordplay as a core part of identity. Even their darker or chaotic impulses are filtered through irony and conceptual humor—“SUICIDE, is it for you? (Quiz)” and “there is NO SUCH THING AS A 21ST CENTURY POET”—suggesting someone who processes life through ideas and jokes rather than sheer ambition (Slytherin) or heroism (Gryffindor). While they have Slytherin-adjacent edge and Gryffindor recklessness, the through-line is a cerebral, hyper-referential, and self-consciously clever persona, making Ravenclaw the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
I Hate Myself and I Want to Die - Nirvana
A fitting song for them is “I Hate Myself and I Want to Die” by Nirvana, which matches their mix of gallows humor, self-loathing, and irony. They frequently weaponize suicidal ideation as a punchline, like in “SUICIDE, is it for you? (Quiz)” and “my birthday . Do i kill myslef ? #MyXAnniversary”, echoing the song’s darkly comic title. Their tweets show a blend of depression and performative edge, such as “gona create a crypto wallet to let the people know my life has no fucking value anymore .” and “i'm like . Lowkey the worst person in th world”. At the same time, they undercut sincerity with absurd jokes and pop‑culture references, like “Back on Twitter like my ibs on the Shitter Dropping Bars” and “there is no such thing as a 21st century poet”, which fits Nirvana’s blend of angst and sardonic detachment. The song’s title and tone encapsulate their online persona: deeply nihilistic, self-destructive, and yet loudly, theatrically self-aware.
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