Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally-aware: Open about grief, attachment, and healing, e.g. reflecting on his mom’s death and lost desire to play piano in “it was the last voice note i sent out before my mom died in september…” and gradual progress in “my therapist told me i needed to work on disconnecting from some peoples…”.
- Loyal-friend: Invests deeply in friends, like using his own therapy time to help a friend in “i’ve been using my therapy sessions to find ways to help him instead of my own things” and cherishing goofy connections in “friendships that devolve into just tagging each other randomly on insta posts >>>>”.
- Ambitious-driven: Holds high standards for success and potential, e.g. criticizing mediocrity in “mediocrity is so deeply unattractive and boring” and admiring attractive, intelligent, successful people in “falling for the most attractive, intelligent, funny and successful people overflowing with potential”.
- Candid-honest: Speaks bluntly about his feelings and boundaries, like deciding to cut off toxic people in “finally able to cut people out of my life without feeling bad again” and openly saying he’ll find someone not too busy in “if you’re too busy for me i’ll find someone who’s not”.
- Humorous-witty: Uses self-aware, irreverent humor throughout, e.g. sexual jokes in “oomf buying discord nitro just to send vids of his hole over 10mb” and self-deprecating lines like “imagine trusting me to do surgery on u and this is how i see”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh-judgmental: Frequently dismisses or insults others, e.g. “yall posting your fat rolls on the TL with no trigger warning is gonna be my 13th reason” and calling a city “the mogadishu of america” in “minneapolis is the mogadishu of america”.
- Boundary-struggles: Has trouble separating his needs from others’, as in “since my friend doesn’t have a therapist, i’ve been using my therapy sessions to find ways to help him instead of my own things”, and agonizes over cutting people even when they’re unhealthy in “lately i’ve realized when people interact with other bad or toxic people i just lose interest… idk if that’s good or bad”.
- Elitist-standards: Links worth to success and potential, e.g. “your feelings about someone can instantly change the moment you realize they’re not going to be successful in life or tap into their potential” and withdrawing when people associate with ‘bad’ or ‘toxic’ people in “every conversation becomes very superficial and boring/pointless bc i just have nothing to say anymore”.
- Cynical-romantic: Swings between intense attachment and resignation, e.g. “spend a month getting over someone. talk to them for 30 min… fall in love again” and the bleak tone in “finishing out this life alone but ive always been alone.”.
- Provocative-insensitive: Uses edgy comparisons and language that can trivialize serious issues, like “now i know what it’s like to live in iran” during a power outage and joking that others’ bodies are his “13th reason” in “yall posting your fat rolls on the TL…”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson: high-achieving, intellectually driven, and a bit world-weary. Their JD/MD and elite school background mirror Lisa’s overachiever streak, and tweets like “AI could do a better job of teaching students than actual teachers and would save money on education budgets” show the same rational, policy-brain take Lisa often has. They care about ethics and competence in others, reflected in posts like “it’s a bit ludicrous how your feelings about someone can instantly change the moment you realize they’re not going to be successful in life or tap into their potential. mediocrity is so deeply unattractive and boring” and “one of my favorite things on this app is reading posts about what is and isn’t legal by people who have never set foot in a law school”. There’s also a reflective, melancholic side—Lisa’s hallmark—in tweets like “finishing out this life alone but ive always been alone.” and “sometimes i’ll talk to someone and even though it’s a normal conversation it will feel like saying goodbye and the last time we’re ever gonna talk and then it normally turns out to be true”. Finally, their love of music and frustration that others don’t understand its complexity echoes Lisa’s relationship with the sax and classical music, as in “i hate how hard it is for people to appreciate piano playing bc lots don’t understand how difficult and complex some of the arrangements are so they can’t fully acknowledge or recognize the level of skill you have.”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTJ
They read as extraverted: they constantly reference friends, social drama, and online relationships, like joking about late-night calls with “pookie” in “dad: 'who were you laughing hysterically on the phone with til 3am?' me: 'oh that’s just pookie'” and talking about community events such as “some chili i made won second prize in a community chili cook off thing”. Their focus mixes real-life specifics with patterns and big-picture judgments about people and systems, leaning intuition: for instance, they generalize about mediocrity and potential in “it’s a bit ludicrous how your feelings about someone can instantly change the moment you realize they’re not going to be successful in life or tap into their potential. mediocrity is so deeply unattractive and boring” and evaluate social networks morally in “lately i’ve realized when people interact with other bad or toxic people i just lose interest and energy in associating with them”. Their style is very thinking-driven: blunt, analytical, sometimes harsh, as in “yall posting your fat rolls on the TL with no trigger warning is gonna be my 13th reason” and their enjoyment of legal/logic disputes in “one of my favorite things on this app is reading posts about what is and isn’t legal by people who have never set foot in a law school”. They show strong judging tendencies: they like clear decisions, boundaries, and standards—cutting people off, planning, and evaluating progress, like “my therapist told me i needed to work on disconnecting from some peoples for the new year and today we went over my progress and he said i was off to a good start” and “canceling on new year’s eve plans instead of just ghosting. maybe i did grow a little this year.”. Combined with ambition and focus on competence—e.g., mocking long hours in non-elite jobs in “if yall are not healthcare professionals or lawyers why are you working more than 12 hour shifts for a job?” and prioritizing successful, high-potential people in relationships—this fits ENTJ best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’ve got a JD *and* an MD, but I’m still trying to diagnose how I went from ‘so we just die?’ to ‘actually I’d like to spend a very long time being annoying with you’ after scrolling your timeline.
- You won second place at a chili cook-off and make roasted pumpkin chili in a pumpkin—be honest, are you trying to train for the day you serve me divorce-worthy husband meals or should I bring a ring to the next tureen?
- You haven’t wanted to touch the piano since your mom passed, but the way you talk about music and that last voice note… if you ever feel like playing again, I promise to be the one person in the room who hears more than ‘it just sounds nice.’
- You’re shadowbanned for posting dick on main, muting everyone who got a law degree since lunch, and still using therapy to solve your friend’s problems—how about we balance your caseload: you overthink for him, overachieve for your patients, and overstay in my DMs?
- You evacuated Oklahoma snowstorms, voted for Cuomo, stan Sarah Brightman, know Canadian serial killers, and call someone ‘pookie’ at 3am—statistically speaking, the most dangerous place for me right now is your contact list, but I’m still trying to earn a spot in it.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
JD/MD in training wheels. Plays piano, wins chili cookoffs, survives ice storms & bad haircuts. Opinions my own, jokes mostly, lawyer/doctor never.– @arcanedonovan
Your signature cocktail
The Blessed & Highly Flavored
The Canadian rye whisky nods to their 🇨🇦 side and sharp, sometimes ruthless takes, like “minneapolis is the mogadishu of america” and “i hate oklahoma idk how people live here year round”. An espresso shot captures late-night phone chaos with pookie and serial-killer rabbit holes, as in “dad: “who were you laughing hysterically on the phone with til 3am?” me: “oh that’s just pookie”” and “now i know everything abt canadian serial killers”. The spiced pumpkin-chili syrup riffs on their cozy, extra cooking era—“roasted pumpkin tureen filled with pumpkin chili” and “some chili i made won second prize”—sweet with heat like their timeline. Dry vermouth adds a bittersweet, elegant law/medicine complexity and emotional distance, echoing “finally able to cut people out of my life without feeling bad again so maybe i am healing” and “my therapist told me i needed to work on disconnecting”. The black cherry with smoked salt is a moody garnish for grief and devotion—“it was the last voice note i sent out before my mom died in september”—and their unapologetically salty, bottom-discourse humor like “if ur shorter than me ur bottoming” and “found the biggest bottom on X the everything app”. Strong, a little bitter, secretly sentimental, and, of course, blessed and highly flavored, as they put it in “i got electricity back bc i am blessed and highly favored”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their tweets repeatedly foreground ambition, standards, and self‑preservation over sentimentalism, which aligns strongly with Slytherin. They’re very clear that mediocrity and lack of potential are dealbreakers, saying “it’s a bit ludicrous how your feelings about someone can instantly change the moment you realize they’re not going to be successful in life or tap into their potential. mediocrity is so deeply unattractive and boring”, and similarly distancing themself from people who associate with “bad or toxic people” in “when people interact with other bad or toxic people i just lose interest… every conversation becomes very superficial and boring/pointless”. This is paired with a ruthless boundary-setting instinct: “finally able to cut people out of my life without feeling bad again so maybe i am healing” and “have slowly turned into the type of person where if you’re too busy for me i’ll find someone who’s not” show a strong focus on protecting their own time and energy. They also display overt competitiveness and pride in achievement, from dual professional degrees in the bio to comments like “i have this horrible habit of falling for the most attractive, intelligent, funny and successful people overflowing with potential”, which reads as an aspirational, status‑conscious filter. While there is clear intelligence and wit (Ravenclaw-coded), the dominant pattern is ambitious selectivity, high standards for success, and a willingness to prune relationships that don’t align with those standards, all quintessentially Slytherin traits.
Your movie
Your song
Vienna - Billy Joel
Billy Joel’s Vienna fits them because it captures an ambitious overachiever who’s also painfully self-aware and a little burned out. They’re a JD/MD with elite schools in their bio, openly critical of mediocrity (“mediocrity is so deeply unattractive and boring”) and long work hours for non‑professionals (“if yall are not healthcare professionals or lawyers why are you working more than 12 hour shifts for a job?”), which mirrors the song’s tension between drive and exhaustion. At the same time, they’re processing grief and emotional fatigue, like when they mention not playing piano since their mom died (“i haven’t sung anything or had a real desire to play the piano ever since but im hoping that changes.”) and feeling like they’re finishing life alone (“finishing out this life alone but ive always been alone.”). Their habit of falling in love over and over (“fall in love again and again…”) despite getting hurt also aligns with the song’s gentle reminder to slow down and stop chasing validation so frantically. Altogether, Vienna’s themes of ambition, loneliness, and learning to pace yourself echo their mix of dark humor, high standards, and underlying vulnerability.
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