
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user aligns most with Bart Simpson: irreverent, chaotic, and fond of dark humor. Their violent exaggerations and morbid jokes mirror Bart’s edginess, like when they say they would love to kill people who abuse animals in the same way they hurt pets: “Se eu visse essas pessoas que maltratam animais na rua eu ia amar matar eles da mesma forma que eles fazem com os bichinhos.”. They also make flippant comments about killing and self-harm in a way that feels like shock humor rather than confession, such as “Só existe uma forma que é pegando a minha arma e atirando na minha cabeça pff.” and “Depois me questionam o motivo de eu matar pessoas, olha essa porra.”. At the same time, they show a softer side with affection for dogs and cozy moments, tweeting “Irei curtir e dar rt em todos os cachorrinhos possíveis.” and “Que noite boa, amo o ventinho das árvores.”, much like Bart’s hidden tenderness. Their constant teasing of friends, sarcastic replies, and love of mischief, for example “Felicidade do dia: atormentar o Jasper.” and “Acabei de ver alguém pedindo pra esse chat gpt me maquiar vai se foder.”, completes the Bart-like mix of rebelliousness, snark, and underlying care.

Your MBTI personality Type
They come across as more introverted (I) than extroverted: most posts are about their own day, small pleasures and irritations (coffee, showers, weather, trips) rather than big social scenes, and when they mention people it’s in a tight circle with in-jokes like tormenting Jasper: “Felicidade do dia: atormentar o Jasper.”. Their focus is strongly sensing (S), grounded in concrete, sensory details—coffee, cereal, heat, rain, textures, physical tiredness and specific objects, e.g. “A satisfação que é tomar banho e lavar o cabelo depois de um dia cheio é incrível.” and “Primeiro dia do ano um calor desses, pode voltar.”, with almost no abstract theorizing. They lean clearly thinking (T): their tone is blunt, dry and often harshly logical or dark rather than conciliatory, as in “Se eu ver mais um pau nessa porra desse aplicativo eu corto o pescoço.” and the sardonic “Mas tá de boas, eu não morri até agora de outras coisas não vai ser alimentação que vai me matar.”. Their attitude toward life feels adaptable and perceiving (P): they complain about chaotic weather and messy schedules, go on trips and improvise food/clothes instead of planning (“O que fazer quando só tenho roupas casuais pra se usar e um terno antigo que provavelmente nem em mim serve mais.”), and often react in the moment with spontaneous one-word or expletive tweets like “Merda.” and “Cu.”. The combination of detached, sardonic emotional style, fascination with violence and weapons in a fictional/roleplay context (“Só existe uma forma que é pegando a minha arma e atirando na minha cabeça pff.”), and concrete, sensory everyday focus fits the ISTP stereotype of a pragmatic, inwardly intense, action-oriented type who lives very much in the present moment.

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Your new Twitter bio
Head hunter by night, coffee and old westerns by day. Defender of dogs, professional Jasper tormentor, currently losing patience with this app.– @asoftheyyear

Your signature cocktail
This drink is built on a double shot of dark roast espresso for their obvious coffee obsession, echoing cravings like “Sei que é hora do almoço, mas eu amaria um café agora.” and proud moments like “Aprendeu a fazer o café.”. A dash of overproof rum stands in for the violent, headhunter edge and dark humor behind lines such as “Depois me questionam o motivo de eu matar pessoas, olha essa porra.” and “Se eu ver mais um pau nessa porra desse aplicativo eu corto o pescoço.”. Coffee liqueur with bitter cocoa mirrors their mix of sweetness and irritation, from soft moments like “Que noite boa, amo o ventinho das árvores.” to fed‑up outbursts like “Essa aplicativo de merda.”. Cold brew ice cubes keep it cool and slow-burning, just like the laid-back snapshots of daily life in “Uma pausa pro café da tarde.” and the constant weather commentary in “Primeiro dia do ano um calor desses, pode voltar.”. Finally, a foam kissed with smoked sea salt and caramel captures their tough-but-soft vibe: salty language all over the timeline, but fiercely protective tenderness in tweets like “Protejam. Protejam esse cachorro agora caralho PROTEJAM AGORA.” and the rage at animal cruelty in “Se eu visse essas pessoas que maltratam animais na rua eu ia amar matar eles da mesma forma que eles fazem com os bichinhos.”.

Your Hogwarts House
This account leans strongly Slytherin because of its ruthless, ends-justify-the-means streak and a kind of dark pride in doing whatever it takes. They repeatedly fantasize about extreme retribution, as in “Se eu visse essas pessoas que maltratam animais na rua eu ia amar matar eles da mesma forma que eles fazem com os bichinhos.” and “Depois me questionam o motivo de eu matar pessoas, olha essa porra.”, which suggests a vengeful, uncompromising moral code rather than a purely idealistic one. There’s also a consistent self-positioning as a ‘hunter’ or killer in the bio and tweets, and a flippant comfort with violence and death, like “Só existe uma forma que é pegando a minha arma e atirando na minha cabeça pff.”, that fits Slytherin’s darker edge more than Gryffindor-style noble heroism. At the same time, they show protectiveness toward those they care about (especially animals), as in “Protejam. Protejam esse cachorro agora caralho PROTEJAM AGORA.”, which reads less as gentle Hufflepuff kindness and more as fiercely territorial loyalty. The combination of intense protectiveness, a predatory self-image, and a readiness to use extreme measures to defend their values is quintessentially Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑fitting song is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, which blends dark humor, violent fantasy, and vulnerability—much like this account. They casually reference killing and violence in a stylized, almost fictional way, for example when they say they love movies about killing and joke about why they "kill people" in tweets like “Depois me perguntam por que eu faço o que eu faço.” and “Depois me questionam o motivo de eu matar pessoas, olha essa porra.”. The song’s themes of intrusive thoughts and self-destructive ideation resonate with posts like “Eu odeio o que as vozes da minha cabeça falam quando eu estou em silêncio.” and the dark joke “Só existe uma forma que é pegando a minha arma e atirando na minha cabeça pff.”. At the same time, their softer side—love of dogs and nature in tweets like “Irei curtir e dar rt em todos os cachorrinhos possíveis.” and “Que noite boa, amo o ventinho das árvores.”—mirrors the uneasy mix of tenderness and menace in the song. Overall, Bury a Friend captures their edgy, morbid humor and the underlying emotional turmoil they hint at throughout their timeline.

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asoftheyyear
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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