
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Based on the user's obsession with food, weight, and alcohol, as well as frequent vulgar outbursts, the best match is Homer Simpson. The user says "i can’t wait until i’m old so i can be fat" and "drunk 5 up&go’s today, life hack to longevity", echoing Homer's love of donuts and beer. Their angry rant "shut up bitch i’m listening to modest mouse" and self‑deprecating "i hate being a bloatcel" mirror Homer's crude language and low self‑esteem. The occasional references to a dog ("all my homies puppys", "i am a small whipped dog") also nod to Homer's pet Santa’s Little Helper. Though the user is more extreme, the combination of obesity, drunkenness, and profanity fits Homer best.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user’s constant stream of public, attention‑seeking posts (e.g., “who wanna play with legos and set up massive lego battles?”) shows an extroverted style. Their tweets focus on concrete, sensory details like “i love zero sugar chemicalslop 🤍” and “my tail is soooooo fluffy,” indicating a sensing preference. Emotional, value‑driven language such as “i hate being a bloatcel i hate being a bloatcel i hate being a bloatcel” reflects a feeling orientation. The impulsive, spontaneous remarks like “if i have one more bad day im spending a grand on lego” point to a perceiving approach. Together these traits align best with the ESFP personality type.

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Your new Twitter bio
NZ-based indie music buff, coffee junkie, LEGO enthusiast, dog lover, content creator. Once mailed a LEGO set and watched it vanish!– @asukashotshinzo

Your signature cocktail
The Bloatcel Bite blends dark spiced rum, echoing the self‑deprecating chant "i hate being a bloatcel i hate being a bloatcel i hate being a bloatcel". Smoky mezcal brings the gritty vibe of "lock me in the coal mines and let me get to work jestering!". Coconut water is a nod to the user’s love of "i love zero sugar chemicalslop 🤍". A shot of cold brew coffee captures the chaotic energy of "drunk 5 up&go’s today, life hack to longevity", while chocolate bitters add the bitter edge of "fuck nzpost till i die". The whole drink, with its fluffy tail of foam, mirrors the whimsical line "my tail is soooooo fluffy" and reflects the user’s blend of dark humor, dog‑obsession, and NZ‑rooted nihilism.

Your Hogwarts House
The user shows a strong desire for control and dominance, e.g., "if paknsave doesn’t stock up the coffee coconut water soon i’m going to start taking out employees" and "about twenty times a day i see people that in an ideal world, should be shot," reflecting Slytherin's cunning and ruthless ambition. They also flaunt a future position of surveillance power: "happy to announce i just got hired at @PalantirTech!! happy to begin working with everyone there to surveil you all!!," indicating a drive for influence. Their self‑centered, strategic language like "call me a faglosopher" and frequent threats reveal a willingness to use any means to achieve their aims, aligning with Slytherin's resourcefulness. While they display occasional reckless bravado, the overarching theme of ambition and manipulation best fits Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
The user repeatedly refers to themselves as a dog, saying "I am a small whipped dog," "my tail is soooooo fluffy," "pull on my dog collar like this when an awkward moment happens," and "ima lock YOU in a dog crate." This mirrors the central metaphor of Korn’s "Freak on a Leash," which describes feeling like a caged animal forced to obey. Their angry, nihilistic statements such as "BORN TO DIE WORLD IS A FUCK … I am trash man," "i hate being a bloatcel i hate being a bloatcel," and "about twenty times a day i see people that in an ideal world, should be shot" echo the song’s raw, confrontational tone. The frequent profanity and sense of being trapped ("parking like a terrorist, fuck you," "I can’t wait until i’m old so i can be fat") further align with the frustration expressed in the lyrics. Overall, the blend of self‑identification as a leashed dog and intense rage makes "Freak on a Leash" a fitting match.

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