
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lena identifies most with Lisa Simpson due to her intense, hyper-fixated passion for art, music, and feminist icons. Much like Lisa’s devotion to her saxophone and idols, Lena exhibits a borderline academic and emotional obsession with Taylor Swift and Killing Eve, famously tweeting, “convinced taylor swift came up with the line ‘it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti hero’ after a watching the final episode of killing eve and crying herself to sleep”. She shares Lisa’s habit of finding deep, often queer subtext in media, such as when she asked, “was taylor proposed to ?????” or critiqued writers for poor character development. Both possess a sharp, cynical wit toward authority and corporate incompetence, seen when she lambasted Ticketmaster: “funny how ticketmaster literally sells tickets but they’re too stupid to do so”. Ultimately, Lena’s world is defined by being a “#lesbean” and a highly emotional fan who, like Lisa, feels things more deeply than those around her.

Your MBTI personality Type
Lena displays Extroversion (E) through her high-energy, externalized reactions to fandom events and her frequent, enthusiastic social interactions, such as “GET OUT OF LINE MAKE SPACE FOR ME !!!”. Her Intuition (N) is evident in her focus on symbolic meanings and subtext in media, seen when she describes a song as the “lovechild of mirrorball and gold rush”. She is a Feeling (F) type who prioritizes emotional connection and values over logic, often expressing intense sentiment like “I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND !!!”. Finally, her Perceiving (P) trait shows in her spontaneous decision-making and comfort with chaos, evidenced by her tweet: “i just randomly bought prima facie opening week tickets i guess i’m going to new york !”.

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Your new Twitter bio
22. Barista & globetrotter with a penchant for front-row seats. Once manifestd a Jodie Comer Broadway debut and survived the 2022 Ticketmaster Great War.– @atthealcott

Your signature cocktail
This drink captures Lena’s chaotic energy, blending the floral notes of her favorite artist with the sharp bitterness of being an #awfc sufferer. The Australian Chardonnay represents the long-awaited arrival of her partner, as she tweeted: “my long distance girlfriend is gonna come to the eras tour with me !!! i love my girlfriend !!!”. The lavender base is a nod to her midnights-era obsession—“lavender haze slayed”—while the bitter lemon reflects her deep frustration with showrunners and Ticketmaster. Finally, the edible glitter mimics the campy aesthetic of Killing Eve and her excitement for the Eras Tour, despite her frequent claims that “line still frozen ❤️” or “i’ll kms”.

Your Hogwarts House
Lena displays a fierce resourcefulness and high-stakes ambition when it comes to her personal goals, particularly regarding the Eras Tour. Her intensity and willingness to use extreme rhetoric to get what she wants, such as telling people in the Tampa queue to “GET OUT OF LINE MAKE SPACE FOR ME !!!” or jokingly threatening “ticketmaster employees”, highlights a "by any means necessary" mindset. She is also deeply invested in complex, morally gray characters and power dynamics, frequently posting about her devotion to the Killing Eve “villaneve” relationship and the cunning nature of its leads. This blend of selective loyalty to her specific community and a ruthless drive to succeed in her endeavors marks her as a clear Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
Lena’s online identity is fundamentally tied to this track, as seen in her username @atthealcott. Her timeline is a dedicated archive of a "#lesbean" and "#awfc sufferer" who navigates the world through the lens of Taylor Swift's discography. The song’s themes of devotion and returning to someone resonate with her intense joy regarding her long-distance relationship, specifically when she tweets, “MY LONG DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND IS GONNA COME TO THE ERAS TOUR WITH ME !!! I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND !!!”. Furthermore, her chaotic but loyal energy as a fan is captured in her frantic pursuit of tickets, admitting that “mental instability is 2000+ in front of you” during the Ticketmaster queue. Ultimately, the song The Alcott perfectly mirrors her self-defined persona as a sentimental, music-obsessed romantic.

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