Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Hardworking Professional: Holds two jobs simultaneously and works long hours to fund an international future, as seen when mentioning “half year of working two jobs at once”.
- Scientific Expertise: Demonstrates specialized knowledge in chemistry and lab environments, noting they can “tell who went through chemistry studies... by how they react to smells”.
- Commitment: Dedicated to a long-distance relationship, successfully navigating an “immigration petition” and constant travel to see their fiancé.
- Physical Discipline: Maintains personal fitness goals despite a busy schedule, boasting a “3:21 min plank time”.
- Cultural Pride: Deeply appreciates their heritage and local history, specifically celebrating the “Lower Silesia flag” and Polish-American friendship.
Weaknesses:
- Workplace Deception: Admits to manipulating management to secure time off by “calling to supervisor X saying that supervisor Y approved my leave”.
- Abrasive Communication: Expresses strong opinions with harsh language, telling certain groups to “stfu forever” or “fuck off”.
- Excessive Vanity: Openly acknowledges self-obsession, explicitly stating “I am very vain” while posting self-portraits.
- Impulsive Spending: Struggles with self-control regarding hobbies, fearing they cannot stop themselves from “spiraling” into expensive WW2 reenactments.
- Judgmental Nature: Frequently criticizes others' social media habits, labeling people as “annoying” for expressing insecurities in replies.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Like Lisa, Auri is a highly intellectual individual who spends time “in the lab” and has a deep interest in “theology and information about different religions”. She possesses a strong moral compass and a love for high-minded ideals, tweeting “I LOVE CONVICTIONS, MORALS AND HONOR” while often feeling alienated from her peers' “cringe” or “insufferable” behavior. Despite her academic leaning, she shares Lisa's occasional vanity and a complex relationship with her heritage, though she remains fiercely patriotic about “European Texas”. Ultimately, her blend of scientific rigor, niche hobbies like Avatar or historical reenactment, and a sense of being a “not a desperate wage slave” mirrors Lisa's principled and multi-faceted personality.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Auri exhibits Extroversion (E) through her highly active social life, frequent trips, and vocal participation in debates, claiming she keeps her “natural social skills” even without alcohol. She leans toward Intuition (N) with her interest in speculative fiction, theology, and conceptual thinking, stating she spent a summer “reading and watching a shit tone of theology” and discussing complex political optics. Her Thinking (T) preference is evident in her blunt, logic-driven criticisms and lab-oriented mindset, noting she can tell who studied chemistry “by how they react to smells” at the workplace. Finally, her Perceiving (P) side shows in her adaptability and disdain for rigid work environments, which she navigates by “calling to supervisor X saying that supervisor Y approved my leave” to bypass authority creatively.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a hypergolic mixture? Because just one look at you and my heart is having a spontaneous ignition—no spark plug required.
- I’m not a shift leader, but I’d definitely approve your leave if it meant spending more time at the forefront of Polish-American friendship.
- Forget the multicam derivative; you’re the only new pattern I want to see this spring. Is that too 'unfiltered lizard brain' of me?
- I may not be able to debug the coffee machine in the engineer's room, but I’d love to stay up all night with you watching Ridley Scott movies in full vibrant color.
- I’d travel 5,000 miles and back just for a bite of your homemade bread—I promise not to act like a 'Midwesterner' about it, even if I am wearing techwear.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Chemist by trade, Pole by blood, and American by choice. From debugging lab equipment to baking bread for my fiancé, I’m just an ‘XD’ away from my next flight.– @Aurizard7
Your signature cocktail
The Valley Girl Volatile
This drink is a 'slavo-germanic' hybrid that mirrors the soul of an 'americaboo' with its mix of Polish vodka and US bourbon. The smoked beetroot pays homage to the “Beetroot soup devoured” before a flight, while the gold flakes represent a self-admitted streak of being “very vain”. It carries a high-energy, experimental kick for someone who sounds “LIKE A VALLEY GIRL WITH A SLAVIC ACCENT”. Finally, the bitter almond represents the “lab rn” chemist life where one distinguishes colleagues “by how they react to smells.”
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Auri exhibits strong Slytherin traits through their focus on resourcefulness and strategic self-advancement, particularly in how they manage their professional life to gain personal freedom. They openly admit to playing two shift leaders against each other to secure time off, stating, “calling to supervisor X saying that supervisor Y approved my leave and to Y that X approved my leave... tehehe”. Their ambition is evident in their pride at working “two jobs at once” so they are “not a desperate wage slave” who can be ordered around. Furthermore, they display a classic Slytherin preference for curated social circles and optics, noting that “Optics do matter” and that they had to “cleanse my timeline” of those with poor takes. This combination of cunning, self-preservation, and a drive for status and independence aligns them firmly with the house of the serpent.
Your movie
Your song
American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The song perfectly captures Auri’s restless spirit and her deep infatuation with the United States, which she describes as her “European Texas”. Much like the protagonist of the song who was 'raised on promises,' Auri reflects on her family’s history with communism and her desire to move, even contemplating changing her name to “Dakota Summers” once she immigrates. The lyrics echo her long-distance journey and her excitement when she tweets “AMERICA, I’VE ARRIVED AGAIN”. Ultimately, the track mirrors her drive to build a life across the ocean with her fiancé, fueled by a “love for america and Americans”.
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