
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Ian matches Ned Flanders through his unapologetic commitment to his faith and a generally cheerful, polite demeanor mixed with firm conservative values. Like Ned, he is a “✝️Lutheran” who frequently weaves his devotion into his daily life, noting that he holds “a lot of hope in my heart, mostly thanks to God!”. Despite his kindness, he remains a staunch “conservative Christian” who is highly critical of perceived immorality or leftist policy. Even his enthusiastic, almost wholesome celebration of niche interests mirrors Flanders' own quirks, such as when he exclaims, “Merry Christmas everyone! God bless!” or expresses genuine joy for his favorite media.

Your MBTI personality Type
Ian displays the Extroversion and Intuition of an ENFP through his highly vocal, energetic online presence and his tendency to connect disparate cultural topics, from politics to My Little Pony. His social energy is evident in his excitement for community interaction, such as when he celebrates “finally got a post over 100 likes!” and engages in frequent fandom discourse. He demonstrates the Feeling trait by prioritizing personal values and moral conviction, often using emotional language like “Still, I also hold a lot of hope in my heart, mostly thanks to God!” and expressing strong empathy for international causes. Finally, his Perceiving nature shows in his eclectic interests and spontaneous reactions to news, admitting he is “still young and scrappy” while maintaining an open-ended, idealistic worldview that seeks constant change.

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Your new Twitter bio
Minnesota native and Lutheran voice exploring the intersection of Liberty and the Gospel. 22. Loves My Little Pony, classical suites, and Rubio. Ask about my birthday post reaching 100 likes!– @ayantheartist

Your signature cocktail
This drink is a 'scrappy' blend of Minnesota roots and high-proof American patriotism, served with a garnish that honors his favorite 'Best Pony.' It kicks off with a bold spirit because, as he says, “SUCK IT, EUROTRASH! AMERICA FOREVER!”. The sweet apple cider and maple syrup reflect his more whimsical side, specifically his belief that “Applejack would be [Christian] too if Christianity existed in Equestria”. Finally, a float of red wine honors his Lutheran faith and his hope for 2028, since he’s “not afraid of what others think” when it comes to his convictions.

Your Hogwarts House
Ian R. Hoss embodies the Gryffindor traits of boldness and standing up for his convictions, even when they are unpopular. He explicitly values leadership and bravery, stating that a true leader is “not afraid of what others think”. His bio confirms he strives to be “patient in affliction” and he displays the house's signature fiery impulsiveness when defending his national pride, shouting “SUCK IT, EUROTRASH! AMERICA FOREVER!”. Ultimately, his focus on heroism and the belief that “change takes a village, not one guy” highlights a Gryffindor-esque commitment to a cause larger than himself.

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Your song
This song perfectly encapsulates Ian’s blend of patriotic fervor, conservative skepticism of modern culture, and his self-described 'young and scrappy' but 'cynical' worldview. He explicitly showcases his national pride with tweets like “SUCK IT, EUROTRASH! AMERICA FOREVER! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅” while simultaneously critiquing government overreach and economic policies, such as when he claims “taxation is theft”. The song’s focus on the chaotic nature of the modern world aligns with his observation that “The 2020s are already like the 70s in nearly every other way”. Ultimately, Ian’s frequent political commentary and his hope in God mirror the track's exploration of the complicated, often contradictory journey of being a modern American.

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ayantheartist
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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