
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They’re closest to Lisa Simpson: politically sharp, bookish, and deeply opinionated but still very online and funny. Their leftist and anti-imperialist posts, like calling the US "the most profoundly evil country on earth" in “the united states is the most profoundly evil country on earth” and dragging celebrity culture in “celebrity worship is a disease btw.”, line up with Lisa’s moral seriousness and activism. They also show language/grammar pedantry and intellectual curiosity in “NOUNS VS ADJECTIVES CANNOT BE TRIPPING YOU GUYS UP THIS MUCH. PREPOSITIONS CANNOT BE TRIPPING YOU GUYS UP THIS MUCH.” and “yall will post a screenshot of a sentence in another language and be like omg i can’t believe i understood this meanwhile it has 5 english loanwords and 6 cognates”, which is very Lisa-coded. At the same time, they’re self-aware and anxious about the world, as in “i am worried about many things and every little thing is NOT gonna be alright”, and passionate about niche music obsessions like blur and pavement, just as Lisa is with jazz and her various fixations. Even their earnestness about friends and relationships in “i’m way too earnest after every nice conversation or hangout with someone i get the urge to be like hey i love you and think you’re the most awesome person ever” fits Lisa’s big-hearted, slightly intense vibe.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extrovert: they openly seek mutual online/social connection, e.g. inviting people to follow their priv and TikTok (“guys i’m way more active on my priv u should follow @summerrbabeee”, “who wants to be tiktok oomfs. i post outfit videos. i’m @/y0uarealight”), and describe being "booked and busy" with clear enjoyment of interaction (“booked and busy!”). Their strong focus on political takes, language, and patterns in online behavior points to Intuition over Sensing: they generalize from specific events into broader ideas, such as critiquing vagueposting and language-learning discourse (“why has the whole algorithm become dominated by vagueposts?”, “NOUNS VS ADJECTIVES CANNOT BE TRIPPING YOU GUYS UP THIS MUCH”). They show a clear Feeling preference, centering morality and empathy more than cold logic: they condemn celebrity worship and geopolitical hypocrisy in moral terms (“celebrity worship is a disease btw.”, “it’s fucked up how many us leftists are willing to sacrifice iranians and others in the global south for the palestinian cause”), and describe being very earnest with friends (“after every nice conversation or hangout… i get the urge to be like hey i love you and think you’re the most awesome person ever”). Their lifestyle and tone feel flexible and spontaneous, consistent with Perceiving: they start sewing projects at 9pm because “time isn’t real” (“winter break has me starting new sewing projects at 9pm because time isn’t real”), juggle many hobbies aspirationally rather than in a rigid plan (“i need to get better at writing and playing the piano and also sewing and also learn to embroider and… to draw and”), and lean into impulsive, humorous posting rather than carefully curated structure (“on new year’s eve i should message every single person in my life and demand their honest unfiltered thoughts and feelings about me”). Overall, their expressive social energy, values-driven commentary, pattern-focused observations, and relaxed, exploratory approach align best with ENFP.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Egyptian abroad, mint tea enthusiast, blur/pavement apologist. Once watched Damon edits during an EMG so I wouldn’t cry. Opinions, playlists, politics.– @b4tteryinurleg

Your signature cocktail
Mint tea–infused gin nods to her current reality of drowning in nana tea while abroad, like when she said “i have drank my entire weight in mint tea the past 3 days”. Pomegranate juice brings a deep, tart sweetness that matches being Egyptian, politically sharp, and emotionally intense, reflected in takes like “the united states is the most profoundly evil country on earth” and “can you guys just like. advocate for palestine”. Sparkling orange soda is her fizzy, chaotic fandom side, the girl who screams about blur and pavement, e.g. “happy new year to everybody but especially blur because they were my biggest obsession of the year” and “YAYYYYYY IM GONNA SEE PAVEMENT THIS SUMMER WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”. A dash of bitters captures her sardonic, morally furious edge, like “celebrity worship is a disease btw.” and “the new york times is an evil publication”. The mint sprig garnish is playful and a little dramatic, just like someone who will both say “i’m a loser baby so why don’t you kill me #relatable” and unironically announce “🚨 user b4tteryinurleg has the flu again and is miserable.”. Overall it’s strong but bright, sweet with a bite, like a girl who uses hashtags out loud — see “i do use hashtags out loud and i also say LOL and OMG out loud and i say i don’t gaf/i gaf out loud too” — while planning her life around bands and revolutions.

Your Hogwarts House
They show strong Ravenclaw traits: a love of learning, language, and analytical nitpicking. Their irritation with people misunderstanding basic grammar in “NOUNS VS ADJECTIVES CANNOT BE TRIPPING YOU GUYS UP THIS MUCH. PREPOSITIONS CANNOT BE TRIPPING YOU GUYS UP THIS MUCH.” and their mocking of shallow language-learning flexes in “yall will post a screenshot of a sentence in another language and be like omg i can’t believe i understood this meanwhile it has 5 english loanwords and 6 cognates” point to a precise, intellectually picky mindset. They constantly seek skills and self-improvement, as shown in “i need to get better at writing and playing the piano and also sewing and also learn to embroider and learn to play the guitar and to cut my own hair and to draw and”, which signals restless curiosity more than pure ambition. Their humor is also very cerebral and referential, from niche band jokes like (“are wowee zowee wednesdays a thing. if not can we start them”) to media analysis like (“saying that blur aren’t better than radiohead is a choice, saying that people thinking they are is somehow racism against thom yorke is also a very interesting choice”). While they have moral conviction and political edge in tweets like “the united states is the most profoundly evil country on earth”, the dominant pattern is sharp observation, wordy wit, and meta-commentary rather than Gryffindor-esque heroism or Slytherin-style ambition. Overall, the combination of pedantic language focus, multi-skill obsession, and dry, reference-heavy humor fits Ravenclaw best.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑known song that fits them best is Pavement’s Cut Your Hair. They’re loudly and proudly a Pavement/indie kid, from being "number one malkhead" again “i was number one malkhead again!” to exploding people with their mind when someone calls Pavement a "male manipulator band" “any time someone calls pavement a male manipulator band i explode them with my mind”. The song’s wry mockery of fame and the music industry meshes with their constant clowning of celebrity culture and media, like calling celebrity worship a disease “celebrity worship is a disease btw.” and dragging the New York Times as evil “the new york times is an evil publication”. Its slacker, self-aware, slightly chaotic energy mirrors how they tweet about winter-break insomnia craft projects “winter break has me starting new sewing projects at 9pm because time isn’t real” and overcommitting to a million hobbies “i need to get better at writing and playing the piano and also sewing and also learn to embroider and learn to play the guitar and to cut my own hair and to draw and”. And the title itself winks at their hair adventures and mishaps, like burning themself straightening it “every time i try to straighten my hair i get some weird injury…”, making Cut Your Hair an almost too on-the-nose thematic match.

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