
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: smart, politically engaged, emotionally intense, and very online. Like Lisa’s mix of righteous anger and empathy, they launch sharp critiques of US politics and power structures, e.g. calling out Trump and ICE in threads like “fala do ice assassinando civis, sequestrando imigrantes e mandando pra campo de concentração, a violação da soberania da venezuela...” and “donald trump foi um dos nomes mais mencionados nos arquivos do epstein...”. They also show a strong concern with social nuance and justice, as in their frustration with moralistic takes on addiction in “um tweet condenando dependência química e vícios... as nuances e a delicadeza do assunto...” and with transphobic replies in “os qrts infestados de baratas falando q ela finge ser mulher trans...”. Underneath the sarcasm, there’s a vulnerable, introspective side—tweets like “eu fico genuinamente chocado quando eu descubro que as pessoas me acham legal e gostam de mim...” and “eh engraçado parar pra pensar pq no final eu me safei mas será que eu queria ter me safado?” echo Lisa’s tendency to overthink and feel deeply. Their love of art and media (from Dead Poets Society and Brilho Eterno to anime and games) and the sense of being a bit out of step with the people around them, as in “cara vcs não tem o mínimo de conhecimento da sociedade que vcs vivem, é impressionante”, also aligns strongly with Lisa’s earnest, somewhat alienated intellectual vibe.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert over Extrovert: they often describe needing emotional safety, feeling misunderstood, and a small circle of close people (especially their boyfriend), rather than seeking broad social attention, e.g. reflecting on being shy and assumed antipático in “I have a very unfriendly face and to make it worse I'm shy” and being surprised people like them in “I get genuinely shocked when I find out people think I'm cool and like me”. Their tweets show strong Intuition: they move quickly from concrete events to metaphors or broader meaning, like in “the last thing that made daily life tolerable is gone, and the last spark is out of my reach” and the poetic quote about memory and matter in “language bearers... a language forever”. They are clearly Feeling-oriented, prioritizing values, empathy, and personal hurt over detached logic, as seen in moral outrage about injustice and dehumanization in tweets like “it's funny to think that in the end I got away, but was it what I wanted? knowing all this manipulation and lies was worse than the comfort of ignorance” and their anger at puritanical views on addiction in “a tweet condemning chemical dependency with an inflammatory word... people who understand the nuances and delicacy of the subject and not puritans...”. Their spontaneity, emotional swings, and tendency to ruminate rather than rigidly plan point to Perceiving over Judging: they often describe going with the flow (e.g. gaming, binge-watching, carnival plans) and struggling with organization, as in “I'm kind of already resigned to taking spoilers because I can only play on weekends” and “I'm going crazy with this and I won't sleep until I have a resolution”. Overall the combination of introspective, poetic, value-driven, and somewhat chaotic-but-deep inner life aligns best with INFP.

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Your new Twitter bio
He/they. Belo Horizonte heart, horror films & MCR brain. Once tried to buy blue cheese twice and it arrived rotten both times—still an optimist.– @badtzmarola

Your signature cocktail
This drink is smoky and intense thanks to mezcal, mirroring their righteous rage in tweets like “fala do ice assassinando civis, sequestrando imigrantes e mandando pra campo de concentração, a violação da soberania da venezuela... sua piranha” and “donald trump foi um dos nomes mais mencionados nos arquivos do epstein...”. The bitter red aperitivo captures their sharp, sometimes caustic humor when they’re done with people, like in “cara vcs não tem o mínimo de conhecimento da sociedade que vcs vivem, é impressionante” and “porra de gótica mano”. A hit of cold brew reflects their late-night, chronically-online, slightly deranged energy, from “eu to ficando maluco com isso e nao vou dormir hoje ate que eu tenha uma resolução” to the obsessive looping of “High tide, high tide, high tide...”. Salted caramel syrup adds sweetness with a pinch of salt, echoing their soft side about their boyfriend and friends, like “convenci meu namorado a assistir brilho eterno de uma mente sem lembranças comigo” and “eu sou o tipo de pessoa q ama dividir minhas coisas”. The sparkling water and black cherry give it a slightly whimsical, emo-fantasy finish that fits a human-shaped ex–rotten apple blessed by a gentle devil, as hinted in their bio and in moments like “preto ouro” and “pode emo coradinho de sol?”, making this cocktail both dramatic and unexpectedly tender.

Your Hogwarts House
This user consistently shows a confrontational moral courage that fits Gryffindor best. They openly call out US imperialism and state violence in very direct, aggressive language, e.g. criticizing ICE and Trump in tweets like “fala do ice assassinando civis, sequestrando imigrantes e mandando pra campo de concentração, a violação da soberania da venezuela com direito ao trump ameaçando outros países latinos e querendo roubar a groenlandia sua piranha” and “donald trump foi um dos nomes mais mencionados nos arquivos do epstein... você devia ler os arquivos amg, se vc souber né”. They also get angry at shallow or reactionary takes around addiction and social issues, as in “olha! um tweet condenando dependência química e vícios com uma palavra inflamatória! ... e não puritanos que tem visões radicais idênticas a um velho conservador, né?” and defend trans people against bad-faith attacks in “os qrts infestados de baratas... oq esperar de c*s que não tem capacidade de ler um post de 280 caracteres”. This readiness to wade into conflict to defend vulnerable groups, even using harsh language and inviting backlash, shows impulsive, combative bravery rather than diplomatic patience. At the same time, they’re intensely loyal and protective toward their partner and friends, as in “convenci meu namorado a assistir brilho eterno de uma mente sem lembranças comigo” and “talvez eu so seja otario mesmo mas eu realmente gosto de dividir quando eu tenho algo legal ou bom comigo”, which complements the classic bold, heart-on-sleeve Gryffindor profile more than the quieter Hufflepuff style. Overall, the combination of strong political stance, willingness to fight, emotional intensity, and protectiveness points most convincingly to Gryffindor.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for them is Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance, because it balances cynicism, emotional exhaustion, and a stubborn tenderness. They openly love MCR and emo aesthetics, hoping a show will have songs like “Disenchanted” and “Cancer” in it: “acho que se o show tiver i don't love you, disenchanted, cancer, the ghost of you, our lady of sorrows, house of wolves e SLEEP vai ser ser o melhor show da minha vida”. Their timeline swings between political rage and dark humor, like “caralho véi ser humano é muito filho da puta” and “fala do ice assassinando civis, sequestrando imigrantes e mandando pra campo de concentração...”, echoing the song’s world-weariness. At the same time, they’re deeply introspective about manipulation, love, and trauma, as in “eh engraçado parar pra pensar pq no final eu me safei mas será que eu queria ter me safado?” and “as pessoas não te amam como uma pessoa, elas te amam como um conceito”. Like Disenchanted, they come across as someone who has seen too much, still feels everything intensely, and copes by turning that pain into sharp, theatrical commentary.

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