Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate friend: Frequently expresses care for oomfs, like staying up so an oomf feels better in “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better” and listing favorite oomfs in “Top five oomf”.
- Playful humor: Uses absurd, creative jokes like the bone-eating bit in “Someone give me bones I need to eat bones” and wordplay in “You play chess, I goon to the pieces we are not the same.”.
- Self‑aware introspection: Reflects on personal behavior and mental health, e.g. “Gonna get tested for autism someday for sure we just don't know when” and “I'm realizing random Internet people have instilled values and raised my character more than my parents have”.
- Loyal engagement: Actively supports online circle: doing interaction bait in “I am Baltimore do my interaction bait”, watching an oomf’s profile in “Gotta religiously watch oomfs profile for at least three days”, and defending a friend in “Had to cover for discoomf after he got called a Nazi again”.
- Open‑minded values: Shows inclusive attitudes and clear stances, e.g. supporting trans women in “Trans women are not trans Sepse janë thjesht gra” and gently mocking vaping in “I don't understand why people vape it's like smoking if smoking wasn't cool looking”.
Weaknesses:
- Self‑destructive biting: Regularly mentions biting their own hands even when it hurts, as in “Man these bites hurt much more than usual” and “I wonder if my parents are just not perceptive or genuinely don't care that I bite my hands right in front of them”.
- Emotional volatility: Reports sudden anger and overwhelm, like “Does anyone else just get irrationally angry when they're too hot” and “How come every time I enter the kitchen while my family is cooking I immediately get overwhelmed and angry”.
- Sleep neglect: Frequently sacrifices rest for online activity, e.g. “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better”, “I feel like staying up really really late tonight and laying in bed all day TMR is the play”, and “Please speed just one more notification then I'll sleep”.
- Parental resentment: Expresses hurt and disconnection from parents, e.g. “random Internet people have instilled values and raised my character more than my parents have and that's sad” and concern that parents ignore their self‑harm in “I wonder if my parents... don't care that I bite my hands right in front of them”.
- Validation seeking: Relies heavily on notifications and oomf reactions for mood, as seen in “Please speed just one more notification then I'll sleep”, “I need more no life euoomfs/united kindoomfs so I have oomfs to interact with during the day”, and excitement over quizzes/validation in “Positive validation let's go!!!”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They come off as introspective, oddly principled, and a little neurotic in a Lisa-like way. They openly reflect on their upbringing and values, saying that random internet people shaped their character more than their parents, which feels very Lisa versus her family: “I'm realizing random Internet people have instilled values and raised my character more than my parents have and that's sad”. They show a self-analytical streak, musing about autism testing and their own habits: “Gonna get tested for autism someday for sure we just don't know when will keep you updated” and “I wonder if my parents are just not perceptive or genuinely don't care that I bite my hands right in front of them”. Like Lisa, they’re bright and a bit niche in their interests (Fallout 4, chess, podcasts/video essays), and they overthink social stuff, e.g. “I have so many questions that are the kind you can't comfortably ask or find out unless under very specific circumstances”. There’s also an earnest care for friends and a slightly dramatic compassion, such as staying up to watch a friend’s status: “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better”. All of this fits Lisa’s mix of sensitivity, intelligence, social awkwardness, and intense loyalty to the people she cares about.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert: most posts center on online friends, inner experiences, and solitary comforts rather than offline socializing or parties, e.g. savoring personal rituals and comfort media like Fallout 4: “Should I start my 2x a year fallout 4 playthrough” and staying up just to silently monitor oomf: “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better”. Their imagination, odd humor, and interest in meanings over facts point to Intuition: they spin surreal ideas (bones, ribcages, body horror from watermelon seeds) and quirky hypotheticals like “Now that I think Abt it little kids have the right to be scared of a watermelon growing in their stomach if they ate the seed bc that's just body horror and they don't know what's true or not”, and interpret language jokes in depth: “See the joke is that 'them' is a pronoun…”. They show strong emotional awareness and value connections, suggesting Feeling: they center oomfs constantly (“Top five oomf”), express sadness about their upbringing “random Internet people have instilled values and raised my character more than my parents have and that's sad”, and take a clear values-based stance on gender identity “Trans women are not trans Sepse janë thjesht gra”. Their lifestyle appears flexible, impulsive, and exploratory rather than structured, fitting Perceiving: they joke about sleep schedules and going with whatever feels right (“I feel like staying up really really late tonight and laying in bed all day TMR is the play”), and they describe themselves as a “morally bankrupt thief” doing spur-of-the-moment interaction bait: “I am a morally bankrupt thief do my interaction bait”. The combination of introspection, imaginative weirdness, value-driven takes, and loose, spontaneous day-to-day behavior best matches INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said Fallout 4 is your comfort pick, but I think we’re already in a perfect run: I’ve discovered a methodical detective sloth who does jiujitsu, plays chess, and loves Monopoly price-gouging. Mind if I romance this companion?
- You keep begging Twitter for bones to eat, but honestly? You’ve already gotten under mine. At this point I’d happily donate a rib if it meant sharing that freak shake you told @styrobeanzshtwt to find someone for.
- You list jiujitsu, chess, and vocatart in your interaction bait, but I think your real superpower is temporal pattern recognition—because somehow you’ve shown up in my timeline at the exact time I realized my type is ‘Albanian tardigrade with gnomes and a gray sweater.’
- You asked what people’s type of woman/man is and banned ‘personality’ as an answer, so I’ll behave: my type is specifically ‘that one Albanian who almost died of dehydration from COVID, feeds street kitties, bites their hands, and still has the energy to watch over oomfs at 3 a.m.’
- You said death = no gooning, but you also said bumpy car rides make you sleepy and that kids’ watermelon fears are valid—so clearly you value survival. For purely safety reasons, I think you should stay alive long enough to let me kiss you ‘but like in a sweet non romantic way.’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Albanian indoor cryptid. BJJ + Fallout 4 enjoyer, chronic hand-biter, once nearly died of dehydration from COVID. Asking the weird questions so you don’t have to.– @BaltimoreThe2nd
Your signature cocktail
The Methodical Tardigrade
This cocktail is named after their quiz result as a “THE METHODICAL DETECTIVE SLOTH” and their bio’s cozy, stubborn tardigrade energy—strong but low-key, like someone who will absolutely stay home and scroll shtwt all night. The Skittles-infused vodka is a nod to their chaotic, colorful side and the tweet “Me after eating skittles”, giving it a bright, candy edge under the weirdness. Cold brew coffee keeps it wired enough to “stay up until oomf feels better” and religiously watch oomfs’ profiles, while still feeling like a comfort beverage. Nutella syrup references their running Nutella joke in “You can see it casoh you can see my Nutella tricks!!!!”, making the drink indulgent and a little unhinged. The smoked sea salt and sparkling water add an experimental, slightly bitter fizz to represent their dark humor and bone-eating bits like “Someone give me bones I need to eat bones please give me bones”, keeping the cocktail from ever feeling too normal or too sweet.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Baltimore’s defining trait across their timeline is intense loyalty and care for their friends (“oomfs”). They stay up just to emotionally support someone, saying they “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better”, and even commit to “Gotta religiously watch oomfs profile for at least three days”, which reflects classic Hufflepuff-style dedication to people over self-comfort. They repeatedly frame their happiness around friends, listing “my oomfs 🥹” among the top things they love and making a playful but heartfelt post to “Kiss all oomf but like in a sweet non romantic way”. There’s also a strong sense of fairness and protecting others’ reputations: they step in to explain a friend’s mistake, writing that they “had to cover for discoomf after he got called a Nazi again (he wore a symbol not knowing it was one and took it off right after)”. Even their self-deprecating humor and interaction bait (calling themself a “morally bankrupt thief” while still doing friendly tags) sits in a context of community-focused playfulness rather than ambition or ego. Altogether, the overwhelming pattern of loyalty, protectiveness, and gentle care for their circle makes Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
We Are Young - fun. ft. Janelle Monáe
A song that fits them best is We Are Young because it captures chaotic, hyper-online youth mixed with a surprising amount of care for friends. They constantly center their friends and oomfs, like when they say “Top five oomf” and “Was gonna sleep but gotta stay up until oomf feels better”, echoing the song’s ride-or-die camaraderie. Their posts swing between silly surrealism and exhaustion—“Lord I'm so sleepy” and “Life is all about the next big soon”—just like the song’s mix of weary verses and explosive, hopeful chorus. There’s also that slightly self-destructive, darkly humorous edge in tweets like “Remember: death = no gooning” and their bone-eating jokes (“Someone give me bones I need to eat bones”), which fits the messy-but-tender vibe of the song’s narrator. Overall, it’s a track about being a tired but loving disaster with your friends in tow, which matches their blend of affection, chaos, and late-night introspection.
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