BasilianThought
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In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Media Literacy: Basil identifies himself as a “takeseller in a media market” and promotes #MediaMarketLiteracy to help his audience understand how political entertainment functions.
- Ancestral Pride: He demonstrates a strong connection to his heritage by sharing his genealogy and profile picture of his great-great-great grandfather, a historic Afghan figure.
- Analytical Consistency: He often points out long-standing patterns in political discourse, noting when others are “just catching up” to points he made years prior.
- Social Transparency: Basil is upfront about his motivations, explicitly stating he is “not anyone's leader” and views his online presence primarily as entertainment.
- Loyalty To Friends: He defends his personal circle against online detractors, stating he won't join “insane freaks” who attack his real-life friends.
Weaknesses:
- Abrasive Rhetoric: He frequently uses inflammatory language and insults, such as calling people “cattle” or “retarded”.
- Aggressive Confrontation: He actively engages in and escalates online feuds, referring to critics as “ankle biters” and relishing in being “that bitch”.
- Cynical Outlook: Basil tends to view most political and social movements as “symbiotic Kabuki theater” or “impotent ragebait”, potentially alienating constructive dialogue.
- Elitist Tone: He mocks those he deems financially or socially inferior, specifically calling his detractors “anti social BROKIES”.
Your Simpsons character
Sideshow Bob
Like the sophisticated yet vengeful Robert Terwilliger, BasilianThought positions himself as a high-IQ critic of a 'braindead' society, often sneering at the 'cattle' he believes surrounds him. He adopts an air of intellectual superiority to dismiss his rivals, much like when he mocks others for using “reheated memes and impotent ragebait” rather than addressing root causes. His disdain for populist movements mirrors Bob’s own frustration with the masses, explicitly stating “you people are cattle...you love being a slave” in response to political theater. Despite his claims of being a mere “takeseller in a media market”, his tweets reveal a deep-seated obsession with legacy and genealogy, akin to Bob's elitist sensibilities. Ultimately, both share a performative, dramatic flair for 'educating' a public they fundamentally despise.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Basil demonstrates Extroversion through a highly confrontational, public-facing persona, often engaging in 'struggle sessions' and declaring, “the way your whole lives revolve around me. I LOVE being that bitch.”. Their Intuition is evident in their focus on abstract systems and legal frameworks over surface-level grievances, critiquing others for being “obsessed with the least operative, more salacious parts of any given issue”. Thinking dominates their style, favoring blunt, logic-based deconstruction of 'media markets' and dismissing emotional appeals as “impotent ragebait”. Finally, a Perceiving preference is shown through their self-description as a “takeseller” in a state of constant, spontaneous ideological play rather than adhering to rigid institutional structures.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the second syllable in your name? Because I can’t stop putting all the stress on you.
- My astrologer told me I’d meet a Pisces sun with a spicy Aries moon today, so I guess I’m exactly where the stars want me to be.
- Forget the media market literacy—the only ‘take’ I’m interested in tonight is taking you out for a Marlboro and some high-IQ conversation.
- I promise I’m not just another ‘ungrateful guest’ on your timeline, but I’d love to be a permanent fixture on the Benni and Basil Show.
- You say you’re just a takeseller in a media market, but you’ve managed to monopolize all my attention without even trying.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Analyzing the media market with a stress on the second syllable. Selling takes, deconstructing legal premises, and talking shop on The Benni and Basil Show.– @BasilianThought
Your signature cocktail
The Media Market Take-Seller
This drink is designed for the high-IQ provocateur who insists “This is entertainment” while selling the most acerbic takes in the media market. The bourbon is smoked with his preferred brand because he “smokes marlboros” while your pouches are 'made in India,' while the saffron honors his lineage from the “Afghan anti occupation forces” who won. It is intentionally bitter to reflect his disdain for 'cattle' who “love being a slave” to mainstream Republicanism. Finally, it's served with a twist for the man who loves the spotlight, declaring “I LOVE being that bitch” when his haters obsess over him.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
BasilianThought demonstrates typical Slytherin traits of ambition, self-preservation, and a focus on social hierarchy. He explicitly rejects traditional political leadership in favor of being a “takeseller in a media market”, framing his work as a transactional form of entertainment and influence. His cunning is evident in how he navigates social dynamics, boasting about his resilience by stating, “the way your whole lives revolve around me. I LOVE being that bitch”. Furthermore, he prioritizes exclusivity and gatekeeping to maintain status, noting the need to “keep the anti social BROKIES out” through paywalls, showing a clear preference for resourcefulness and elite association over Hufflepuff fairness or Gryffindor altruism.
Your movie
Your song
Obsessed - Mariah Carey
Basil views himself as a high-tier media disruptor whose mere presence triggers his ideological enemies into a frenzy of 'alogging' and 'struggle sessions.' He leans into this antagonistic dynamic, tweeting “the way your whole lives revolve around me. I LOVE being that bitch.” while mocking those he deems “ankle biters/basil haters.” The song reflects his dismissal of critics he considers “socially maladapted freaks” who are fixated on his movements. Ultimately, he presents himself as an untouchable figure of entertainment, stating “I am not doing politics. I am a takeseller in a media market. This is entertainment.” as he revels in the attention he receives from both sides.
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