
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user matches Bart Simpson: loud, chaotic, and irreverent, but ultimately sharp and emotionally aware. Their timeline is full of explosive reactions and capslock outbursts like “AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHH” and “HAHHHAHAHA EU DISSE EU DISSE HAHAHAHA”, very in line with Bart’s hyperactive, drama-loving energy. They mix sexual humor and trolling, e.g. “Gente se não for menor de idade eu não dou a mínima tlgd, fica pelado Ness!” and “Esse Hugo quer é levar uma rolada do isagi”, the same way Bart constantly pushes boundaries for the laugh. At the same time, they show a surprising moral core and social awareness, defending hentai/NSFW in a nuanced way in “Gente, não tem nada de errado em hentai, SMUT ou nsfw… E eu queria saber porque raio estaria errado?” and calling out fandom hypocrisy in “Os fandoms de anime hoje em dia são tipo 'Não gosto de assédio' ' Kkkkk turista'”. Their mix of shitpost humor, rebellion, and unexpected emotional intelligence (including personal vulnerability like “ADMITI PRA MINHA MAE QUE EU SOU LGBT VAI RODO MUNDO TOMAR NO CU”) fits Bart far better than any of the other core family members.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extrovert (E): they openly ask for interaction and attention, e.g. “ME MANDEM MENSAGENS” and “Me mandem coisas”, and constantly engage in fandom discourse and debates with quote tweets. Their focus suggests Intuition (N): they enjoy analogies and abstract/meta takes about fandom and fiction such as “Termo da internet é algo meu Deus larp yap lovebombing e não sei o que o que” and discussions of how people interpret characters like in “Ahh, entendo anon, tu tá se referindo a quando tipo, diminuem as características dos personagens...”. They show a strong Feeling (F) preference: they argue from values and emotional concern (e.g. defending Ness and calling out hypocrisy in ships in “Falar que Kainess é tóxico gostando de kaisagi é tipo o sujo falando do mal lavado”) and express care about issues like transphobia in “Deus proteja a Kirara de toda a transfobia”. Their style appears Perceiving (P): they are spontaneous and fluid, jumping between topics, posting in bursts, joking about their own reactions (“EU ME SINTO ASSIM FALANDO DE TERMOS TÉCNICOS DE BLUE LOCK”), and not presenting themselves as rigidly organized or planned. Overall, the combination of high social engagement, abstract fandom/meta talk, value-focused arguments, and spontaneous posting fits ENFP best.

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Your new Twitter bio
15 • Brazilian artist & Blue Lock analyst | balancing football takes, queer fandom chaos & commissions | once yelled about Ness before breakfast– @BastardPistols

Your signature cocktail
This drink is wired on chaotic fandom energy and Brazilian flavor, matching their self‑declared vibe of “Saudável é salada 🥗🥗🥗🥗🥗🥗 aqui nois é tóxic yaoi🤣🤣🤣😝😝😝😝😝 kaisagi kainess e bunsae vamo tropa se mat”. Cachaça infused with roasted coffee beans represents their sharp, sometimes aggressive analysis of ships like in “Falar que Kainess é tóxico gostando de kaisagi é tipo o sujo falando do mal lavado”, strong but thoughtful. Açaí nectar mirrors their Baiano roots and softer side when they ask for connection in “ME MANDEM MENSAGENS”. Spicy ginger syrup captures the unfiltered, horny humor of lines like “Morrer de vergonha o que eu ia é morrer de tesão o Ness é lindamente patético” and their delight in messy dynamics such as “Saudável é quando só de pensar em ser superado por essa pessoa eu começo a me enforcar”. Sparkling guaraná soda adds hyper teen energy for someone who can go from “AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHH” to Blue Lock meta like “EU ME SINTO ASSIM FALANDO DE TERMOS TÉCNICOS DE BLUE LOCK”. Finally, a dash of salt and lime nods to their salty takes on fandom and social issues such as “Punheteiros não estão acostumados com a bio diversidsde feminina” and their protective stance in “Deus proteja a Kirara de toda a transfobia”, cutting through the sweetness with necessary bite.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a very Gryffindor mix of boldness, confrontational honesty, and willingness to stand in front of drama rather than away from it. They openly argue about fandom morality and refuse to back down, like when they challenge someone’s logic about toxic ships in Blue Lock and call out hypocrisy: “Falar que Kainess é tóxico gostando de kaisagi é tipo o sujo falando do mal lavado” and “Então tu admite que o Yoichi estaria supostamente 'ficando' com um abusador?… Ele com o Isagi faz dele um abusador do bem?”. They also step up on broader social issues in a very head‑on way, like defending Kirara against transphobia: “Deus proteja a Kirara de toda a transfobia” and criticizing sexist fandom behavior: “Punheteiros não estão acostumados com a bio diversidsde feminina… E quando tem peitão eles não aceitam que tenham estrias”. Their impulsive, dramatic style—“AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHH”, joking about wanting to “pôr uma bomba e pular fora” in a thread (link), and saying they’d die of lust instead of shame around a character they love (“Morrer de vergonha o que eu ia é morrer de tesão o Ness é lindamente patético”)—reads as hot‑blooded and gutsy rather than cautious. Finally, coming out to their mother so bluntly—“ADMITI PRA MINHA MAE QUE EU SOU LGBT VAI RODO MUNDO TOMAR NO CU”—shows the classic Gryffindor pattern of charging into emotionally risky territory with defiant courage rather than quiet diplomacy.

Your movie

Your song
A song that suits @BastardPistols well is Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, because it captures a loud, rebellious teen vibe mixed with humor and frustration. They’re 15 and very online-fandom-coded, openly talking about hentai/nsfw without shame, as in “Gente, não tem nada de errado em hentai, SMUT ou nsfw E eu queria saber porque raio estaria errado?” and “Gente se não for menor de idade eu não dou a mínima tlgd, fica pelado Ness!”, which fits the song’s defiant attitude toward social norms. The chaotic, screaming energy of lines like “AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHH” and their all-caps reactions to ships and panels mirror the noisy, explosive chorus of Teenagers. Their mix of self-deprecating humor and melodrama—such as “Saudável é quando só de pensar em ser superado por essa pessoa eu começo a me enforcar”—matches the song’s dramatic, slightly sarcastic angst about growing up. On top of that, their constant fandom discourse, from Blue Lock ships to calling out fandom hypocrisy in “Os fandoms de anime hoje em dia são tipo 'Não gosto de assédio' ' Kkkkk turista'”, echoes the song’s theme of not fitting neatly into what adults or the mainstream expect from teenagers.

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BastardPistols
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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