
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely resembles Homer Simpson: impulsive, emotionally intense, frequently chaotic, but clearly affectionate and attached to the people and characters they love. Their melodramatic spirals and self‑deprecation, like “I'm a dumb, fucked up whore prostitute cumslut and I wanna shoot myself in the head with a shotgun”, echo Homer’s tendency to catastrophize and see himself as a failure. The fixation on specific comfort characters and over-the-top horniness, such as “Oh my god please I love him” and “He’s so adorable and I want him to do horrible, horrible things to me : )”, is very Homer-ish in its unfiltered desire and fandom obsession. At the same time, their tender devotion to partners/‘mummy’ figures, like “My wife who beats me and calls me a dysfunctional man ❤️” and the repeated mourning in “I miss my mummy”, parallels Homer’s needy, dependent love for Marge. Even when they’re spiraling or being crude, the underlying vibe is a big, messy, emotional adult child—which is quintessential Homer.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as an Introvert (I): their world is heavily interior, centered on parasocial/fictional fixations and intense feelings rather than real-life social scenes, e.g. spiraling over characters like Dale Gribble and fictional relationships instead of parties or group outings: “Can’t stop thinking about Dale Gribble”, “Thinking about Dale Gribble, even whilst I dine finely.”. Their focus is clearly iNtuitive (N), fixating on symbolic roles ("Mummy" as a gender-bendy, nurturing/domineering archetype) and abstract emotional narratives rather than concrete daily details, like “Mummy Is My Mummy Even When She Is A Boy 💓(Drawn By Me)” and the poetic, metaphor-heavy line “You are my underbelly… There’s not a color we lack”. They are strongly Feeling (F): posts are raw, emotional, and self-deprecating, prioritizing how things feel over any rational analysis, such as “Why do I spiral over everything? Nothing’s wrong — it’s because I’m the heart and the brain doesn’t like to speak” and “I’m a dumb, fucked up whore prostitute cumslut and I wanna shoot myself in the head with a shotgun”. Finally, they look more Perceiving (P) than J: their timeline is impulsive, messy, and mood-driven, without evidence of structured planning—jumping from obsessions, emotional breakdowns, and hyperfixations (e.g. “I had a dream I gave Dale the sloppiest BJ I don’t think today’s gonna be too bad” to “My hands are bleeding”) rather than any organized goals. Taken together—introspective, fantasy-heavy, emotionally intense, and chaotic—the profile best fits INFP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Gothenburg-based artist & media nerd. Draws Good Omens, Dale Gribble, and unhinged guys in suits. Once rewatched Whiplash so much my friends staged an intervention.– @berwaldshusband

Your signature cocktail
This strong but sweet-bitter drink channels Proxy’s chaotic tenderness and kinked-up devotion. The overproof dark rum stands in for their intense, spiraling passion and mental health swings, echoing “Why do I spiral over everything? Nothing’s wrong — it’s because I’m the heart and the brain doesn’t like to speak”. Blackcurrant liqueur adds a goth-fruity depth for all the obsessive fictional crushes and horny brainrot, like “Oh my god please I love him” and “He’s so adorable and I want him to do horrible, horrible things to me : )”. The salted licorice syrup is a nod to Sweden and their love of pain-play vibes and abusey dynamics, as hinted in “Who likes #hetalia #domesticabuse (Lithuania and Sweden by the way)” and “My wife who beats me and calls me a dysfunctional man ❤️”. A tiny splash of whole milk references the baby-talk, regressive posting like “mommmy mama change my daepee mama” and the plaintive “I miss my mummy”. Finally, chocolate bitters add a dark, indulgent edge for the dramatic self-loathing and gallows humor in “I'm a dumb, fucked up whore prostitute cumslut and I wanna shoot myself in the head with a shotgun”, making this martini messy, intense, and weirdly lovable—just like them.

Your Hogwarts House
This user shows intense, sometimes darkly charged desire and fixation that aligns with Slytherin’s obsessive, possessive streak, for example in their sexualized, power‑tinged crushes like “Oh my god thinking about Lulu lemon. Thinking about the Germany fictive that called me a dirty little kosher boy because I’m Jewish. I love him SO much I’m hard right now” and “He’s so adorable and I want him to do horrible, horrible things to me : ) (Piotr, not Deadpool)”. They often romanticize danger, cruelty, and corruption—very Slytherin-coded themes—such as “Who likes #hetalia #domesticabuse (Lithuania and Sweden by the way)” and “The corruption and demise of the Batman”. There’s also a strong sense of self-dramatization and emotional manipulation, like calling themselves “a dumb, fucked up whore prostitute cumslut and I wanna shoot myself in the head with a shotgun” while blaming others with comments such as “Obviously I’m going through some sort of problem — blame my psychiatrist”. Their fixation on specific characters (Dale Gribble, Ludwig Beilschmidt, Crowley) as objects of desire and power, seen in “Can’t stop thinking about Dale Gribble” and “Im in love with him and he is my little lingerie model #ludwigbeilschmidt #hetalia #aph”, reflects Slytherin’s intense, all‑or‑nothing attachment patterns. Even their bio, “(GROWN MAN, A REAL TOP NOTCH GUY.) … IF I BLOCK YOU, I LOVE YOU,” has a performatively provocative, boundaries-as-power vibe that fits Slytherin’s edge and self-protective posture more than the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for them is “Daddy Issues” by The Neighbourhood, because it channels chaotic attachment, dependency, and dark humor about emotional pain, all of which show up in their tweets. They oscillate between genuine hurt and exaggerated baby-talk, like in “My Mummy doesnt love me anymore😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 [picture]” and “mommmy mama change my daepee mama @goodomensprime mama bring back nanny astoreth [picture]”, mirroring the song’s mix of vulnerability and unhealthy dependence. Their bio, “(GROWN MAN, A REAL TOP NOTCH GUY.)”, clashes with their infantile yearning for a parental/maternal figure, which fits the lyric themes of a damaged but self-aware person craving affection. They also dramatize self-loathing and masochism, as in “I'm a dumb, fucked up whore prostitute cumslut and I wanna shoot myself in the head with a shotgun [picture]”, echoing the song’s portrayal of someone who normalizes pain and dysfunction as part of love. Even their fixation on fictional characters and abusive dynamics, like “Who likes #hetalia #domesticabuse (Lithuania and Sweden by the way) [picture]”, lines up with the track’s exploration of wanting love from people who hurt you.

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