Your Hogwarts House

Slytherin

While Ⓐ might seem like a Gryffindor at first glance due to his outspoken nature, his strategic thinking, ambition, and cunning make him a perfect fit for Slytherin. His tweets often display a keen awareness of power dynamics and social manipulation, as seen in his tweet 'Cool, so does this mean I can tweet whatever I want about her, lying through my teeth, and she's not allowed to respond to any of it because she's got way more followers than me?' He also demonstrates a strong desire to win arguments and assert his dominance, as seen in his tweet 'It's so funny when people confuse sassy yassy bitchy with being intimidating. Bitch, I'd love to see you try.' These traits align with Slytherin's values of ambition, resourcefulness, and a thirst for power.

Your Simpsons character

Sideshow Bob

Sideshow Bob, the Simpsons' arch-nemesis, is a brilliant but bitter character who often schemes to get ahead. Like Bob, Ⓐ is a sharp and intelligent individual who uses his wit to criticize those he perceives as misguided. He's also capable of holding grudges and using sarcasm to belittle his opponents, as seen in his tweet 'It's really amazing when politicians try so hard to woke it up then end up sounding worse than Archie Bunker.' Both Bob and Ⓐ are driven by a desire to be right and often resort to elaborate plans to prove their point, even if it means resorting to underhanded tactics.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:

• Independent thinker: He frequently challenges conventional wisdom and expresses his own unique perspective, as seen in his tweet 'I have this thing where I really don't care about the political beliefs or race or sex or any other personal trait like that in determining whether someone is right or wrong.'
• Sarcastic wit: He uses humor and sarcasm to make his points, as seen in his tweet 'It's so funny when people confuse sassy yassy bitchy with being intimidating. Bitch, I'd love to see you try.'
• Traditional values: He's a strong supporter of traditional values and often criticizes what he sees as the excesses of progressive movements, as seen in his tweet 'There's nothing arbitrary about it. The reason gay men — meaning homosexuals, not just some silly person wearing identity labels as fashion — have been persecuted is because they have sex with other men.'
• Self-awareness: He's aware of his own flaws and doesn't shy away from self-deprecation, as seen in his tweet 'Far from a bingo. Is my figgot card being revoked yet again?'
• Courageous: He's not afraid to speak his mind and frequently engages in debates on social media, even when it means facing criticism, as seen in his tweet 'You people tore her to absolute shreds for her respectful and politely written letter of dissent in June 2020, and didn't let up one iota since then.'

Weaknesses:

• Judgmental: He can be quick to judge others, as seen in his tweet 'Why is it always the ugly b¡tches who go straight to insulting your looks?'
• Defensive: He can be defensive when challenged, as seen in his tweet 'Cool, so does this mean I can tweet whatever I want about her, lying through my teeth, and she's not allowed to respond to any of it because she's got way more followers than me?'
• Resistant to change: He's resistant to change and often criticizes those who embrace progressive ideas, as seen in his tweet 'The idea that men and women are just some vague combination of feelings, magical identity words and clothing 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘥.'
• Overly critical: He's often critical of others and their opinions, as seen in his tweet 'Really tired of mentally deranged and silly people being given airtime and credibility just because they slapped a cheap wig on, dyed their hair weird colours or 'changed their pronouns.'
• Self-righteous: He can come across as self-righteous in his arguments, as seen in his tweet 'If you're constantly popping off about 'the right side of history,' please get a grip and realize that with vanishingly few exceptions, history will forget you.'

Your 5 Emojis

• 🍿

  He identifies as a popcorn, showing his sense of humor and self-deprecation.

• 🔥

  He uses this emoji to describe someone he admires, showing his appreciation for strong personalities.

• 💪

  He advocates for traditional masculinity and challenges the notion of 'toxic masculinity,' suggesting a strong and independent personality.

• 🤨

  He frequently questions and criticizes the 'woke' movement and identity politics, showing his skepticism and critical thinking.

• 👨‍❤️‍👨

  He's in a committed relationship with @ajlieshere, showing his love and affection for his partner.

Your new Twitter bio

Sober code junkie, lover of blue cheese and dark chocolate, and proud partner to @ajlieshere. I'm a fan of the 90s, good naps, and cooking delicious meals. I'm also a vocal critic of the 'woke' movement and the excesses of identity politics.– @big_figgot

Your movie

Fight Club

Fight Club, a film about a group of men who rebel against societal norms and embrace violence, captures Ⓐ's rebellious spirit and critique of modern society. He frequently challenges the status quo and expresses his frustration with the direction of modern culture, as seen in his tweet 'The idea that men and women are just some vague combination of feelings, magical identity words and clothing 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘥.' Like the characters in Fight Club, Ⓐ is searching for meaning and purpose in a world that feels increasingly chaotic and meaningless.

Your song

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

Mr. Brightside, a song about jealousy and betrayal, captures Ⓐ's cynicism and his skepticism about the motives of others. He frequently criticizes those he perceives as disingenuous or manipulative, as seen in his tweet 'Cool, so does this mean I can tweet whatever I want about her, lying through my teeth, and she's not allowed to respond to any of it because she's got way more followers than me?' The song's themes of jealousy and paranoia resonate with Ⓐ's distrust of those who hold different views than his own.

Your video game

Grand Theft Auto V

Grand Theft Auto V, a game about crime and rebellion, reflects Ⓐ's rebellious spirit and his willingness to challenge authority. He frequently criticizes what he sees as the excesses of modern culture and the hypocrisy of those in power, as seen in his tweet 'It's really amazing when politicians try so hard to woke it up then end up sounding worse than Archie Bunker.' Like the characters in GTA V, Ⓐ is a nonconformist who enjoys pushing boundaries and challenging the status quo.

Your spirit animal

The Fox

The fox, known for its cunning, intelligence, and ability to adapt to its surroundings, is a fitting spirit animal for Ⓐ. He's a sharp and witty individual who uses his intellect to navigate complex social situations and challenge those he disagrees with. He's also adaptable and able to change his tactics depending on the situation, as seen in his use of sarcasm and humor to make his points. Like the fox, Ⓐ is a survivor who can thrive in difficult environments.

Some pickup lines for you

• You must be a blue cheese lover, because you're really sharp and have a lot of depth.
• I'm not sure if you're a waffle iron or an instant pot, but I'm definitely craving you.
• I'm not sure what's more intoxicating, your personality or the smell of your blue cheese and dark chocolate.
• I'm not sure if you're a 90s throwback or a modern rebel, but I'm definitely attracted to your unique style.
• You must be a good nap, because I could get lost in you for hours.

Your (un)funny joke

Why did the figgot cross the road? To prove he wasn't just a silly person wearing identity labels as fashion!

Did you enjoy your Horoscope?

Your horoscope is 226 days old. Generate a better one, with your latest tweets, using a smarter AI, gpt-4o!

Regenerate with gpt-4o ($4.00)