Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate activist: Openly pro‑Ukraine/Palestine in bio and calls out bigotry, e.g. “Because incest is definitely as bad as two bisexuals kissing”.
- Supportive friend: Boosts friends and mutuals, e.g. promoting an artist: “we all should c0mmissi0n my oomf actually @/tcwcel”.
- Humor-driven: Uses jokes and memes constantly, e.g. “It's dryhump ur doctor boyfriend Tuesday” and “If u laugh u pay a price”.
- Media-engaged: Deeply into games/anime/VNs and engages critically, e.g. “There's one million vns with a man as a mc what are we talking about”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on own behavior and tastes, e.g. embarrassment at likes: “Seeing strangers giving a like to ur yumelsop is so embarrassing”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequent intense phrasing toward others, e.g. “Is he fucking stupid”.
- Fatalistic humor: Uses extreme self-destructive jokes, e.g. “We should all just kill ourselves”.
- Conflict-prone: Often quote-tweets to argue or mock takes, e.g. “They're cooking u for this take and rightfully so❗❗❗”.
- Emotionally volatile: Rapid shifts between excitement and fear, e.g. “I'm so fucking scared” vs. “WE ARE SO BACK”.
- Overinvested fandom: Strong emotional stakes in gacha/media outcomes, e.g. “IVE LOST 3 OMNI GEODES IN THE SKULL CAVE ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE SKULL CAVE”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: politically engaged, emotionally intense, smart, and very online. Their strong moral and political stances, like openly supporting Ukraine and Palestine and saying “let's hate russians and love seals together!”, echo Lisa’s outspoken activism. They care about media ethics and representation, criticizing things like “Whitewashing is okay because they spent alot of the time on it 🥺” and calling out bigotry, which is very Lisa-coded. They’re also earnest and nerdy about their interests (gacha, VNs, Stardew, AO3), celebrating stuff like “Bigfatsealblade is in ao3 omegas top???????” and joking about grinding in games, much like Lisa getting intensely into her hobbies. At the same time, they’re self-aware, a bit dramatic, and prone to melodramatic jokes like “We should all just kill ourselves” in response to fandom discourse, which fits Lisa’s tendency to swing between earnest idealism and frustrated despair when the world is stupid.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Default personality type.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said seeing strangers like your yumelsop is embarrassing, so let me fix that: I’ll like the tweet, read the AO3 omegas top entry, and then take you out for creamy seafood pasta to fully commit to the bit.
- You’re farming pulls, boss materials, and skull cave geodes like crazy—but have you considered investing just one pull into me? I promise higher drop rates than that ‘one pull bro’ moment.
- As a fellow seal enjoyer, I think we should test a new team comp: you, me, and anchorfish as our third. Worst case, we just sit in a big ass fish tank on a fucking fish farm and talk about how they stole Doctorship’s boob window.
- You keep saying ‘I need to lock tf in,’ but I think you already did—I saw that Stardew farmer you said was bigfatsealblade-coded, and now I’m just here trying to speedrun becoming canon spouse.
- You’re out here hating russians, loving seals, screaming over Ukraine mentions, and accidentally reposting AI art—objectively peak human experience. If there WERE a visual novel with you as the MC? I’d pick the ‘cupioromantic bi chud route’ every time, no resets.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Noé · Ukraine-based slop curator & seal enthusiast. Writes, games, yells about gacha rates. Once reposted AI art by accident and never recovered.– @BigFatSealBlade
Your signature cocktail
Noebubu Seal Slop Fizz
The vodka with black pepper and dill is a nod to their Slavic/Ukrainian roots and sharp political bite, echoing the unapologetic energy of “let's hate russians and love seals together!”. Blue curaçao mirrors their beloved ocean/seal aesthetic and that goofy, vibrant gamer vibe from “They added bigfatsealblade to stardew”. Lychee juice adds a soft, sweet, slightly strange note for their cupioromantic bi slop-self, matching the tender enthusiasm of “Look at these noeluuklings from my oomf awwwh”. Sparkling yuzu soda keeps it energetic and chaotic, like the frantic gacha grind of “I need to lock tf in” and the all-caps joy of “WE ARE SO BACK”. The charcoal + glitter rim represents their mix of dark humor and sparkle, from eating a failed “coal block” casserole in “My casserole turned out a bit too dark because of cocoa I'm crying eating my coal block” to delighting in messy, bloody, or beat-up blorbos like “Tied up bloody Luuk 🤤🤤🤤”. This cocktail is strong but playful, a little unhinged, and very online—just like their timeline of seals, slop, and silliness.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
The strongest throughline in their posts is outspoken moral courage and a willingness to fight, even aggressively, for what they think is right. In their bio they frame themself around explicit political stances ("🇺🇦🇵🇸 ... let's hate russians and love seals together"), and in tweets like “Because incest is definitely as bad as two bisexuals kissing” and “Genuinely this is a 5 years old tweet... Our world is homophobic asf of course younger people will be affected that's good that they changed their opinion that's the poiiiint”, they confront homophobia and bad faith comparisons head‑on. They also show a readiness to call people out bluntly, as in “They're cooking u for this take and rightfully so❗❗❗” and “Is he fucking stupid”, which fits Gryffindor’s impulsive, confrontational edge more than the subtler strategy of Slytherin or the detachment of Ravenclaw. Their melodramatic humor around struggle, like “WE ARE SO BACK” after a gacha victory and “IVE LOST 3 OMNI GEODES IN THE SKULL CAVE ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE SKULL CAVE”, echoes the classic Gryffindor flair for dramatizing battles and comebacks. While there is warmth and loyalty (e.g., boosting friends’ art in “Look at these noeluuklings from my oomf awwwh I think we all should c0mmissi0n my oomf actually”), the dominant traits are boldness, values‑driven defiance, and a readiness to fight publicly for beliefs, which align most closely with Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
girls - girl in red
A fitting song for them is girls by girl in red, which captures queer yearning, chaotic humor, and emotional intensity. Their bio proudly states they are a “cupioromantic bi chud,” and they constantly gush over characters and women, like calling Gui “so cutieful” in “I love this Gui's skin so much shes so cutieful here”. The song’s messy, candid vibe matches their timeline full of horny-jokey posts such as “It's dryhump ur doctor boyfriend Tuesday” and “Deep fry ur doctor boyfriend in the butter wednesday”. At the same time, they’re politically vocal and intense, shown in their bio “let's hate russians and love seals together!” and posts like “UKRAINE MENTIONEDDDDD 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦”, which fits the song’s raw, unfiltered emotional tone. Their combination of queer identity, humor, and oversharing feelings makes girls a strong thematic match.
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