
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Mr. Burns fits the user’s self‑portrait as an old, pure‑blood capitalist who despises anyone he deems ‘mentally ill’ or ‘different’. The user repeatedly says, 'I am old.' and lists 'Pureblood' and 'Hoppean Capitalist' in the bio, echoing Burns’ aristocratic wealth and ruthless profit motive. Their tweet, 'Rather than deal with mentally ill people, I am just going to block them without warning,' mirrors Burns’ habit of dismissing and firing employees he dislikes. The user’s anti‑woke, anti‑immigrant stance – e.g., 'If you’re good boy or girl, Santa will bring you gifts, but if you’re bad, Vivek will take them and give them to Indian scammers' – aligns with Burns’ xenophobic and elitist worldview. Finally, the user’s claim 'I love other cultures and that’s the reason I don’t want them to integrate' reflects Burns’ preference for preserving his exclusive empire.

Your MBTI personality Type
Based on the user's outspoken, outward‑focused communication, they appear extraverted (e.g., frequent public calls like "If you're good boy or girl, Santa will bring you gifts…"). Their focus on big‑picture ideological narratives and abstract conspiratorial thinking (e.g., "globalism mixes them all together into a disgusting and miserable brown grey") suggests intuition over sensing. They consistently rely on logical, rule‑based judgments and dismiss emotional considerations (e.g., "If your significant other ever calls the police on you, that's a breakup" and "I would block mentally ill people without warning"), indicating a thinking preference. Finally, the rigid block‑list, structured worldview and preference for order (e.g., the repeated "Rather than deal with mentally ill people, I am just going to block them without warning") point to a judging orientation. Together these traits align with the ENTJ type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Dad, husband, tabletop gamer, sushi fan. I once tried to recruit a dragon to my D&D party—got a fish instead. Faithful, curious, and always learning.– @BroJoeChiRho

Your signature cocktail
The Hoppean Hellfire is a bold, smoky cocktail that mixes aged bourbon for the old-school, hard-line values the user claims ("I am old"). Coconut rum adds a nod to the frequent "Coconut Chicken and Sushi tonight. Life is good." tweet, while jalapeño-infused tequila gives the fiery, no-tolerance attitude echoed in "Rather than deal with mentally ill people, I am just going to block them without warning." Blood-orange juice provides a red-flag hue referencing the user’s warnings about "BPD ... the reddest of red flags". A dash of absinthe finishes the drink with a bitter, controversial edge, mirroring the user’s anti-woke, radical-right stance.

Your Hogwarts House
The user’s focus on self‑interest, control, and a pure‑blood ideology mirrors Slytherin’s values of ambition and resourcefulness. They proudly label themselves a "Pureblood" and repeatedly claim the right to block anyone they deem "mentally ill" – "Rather than deal with mentally ill people, I am just going to block them without warning..." – showing a cunning desire to dominate discourse. Their statement "If your significant other ever calls the police on you, that's a breakup." reveals a manipulative, self‑preserving mindset typical of Slytherins. Additionally, they seek challenge and superiority, saying "I always begin a game on the hardest reasonable difficulty." All these traits align with Slytherin’s emphasis on ambition, power, and strategic control.

Your movie

Your song
The user’s self‑portrait as a provocateur who revels in being called a demon (“Leftists trying to deflect themselves from the accusations that they are demons…when demons are specifically said to be made of lies”) mirrors the narrator of “Sympathy for the Devil,” who proudly introduces himself as the devil. Their repeated threat to “block…mentally ill people…including…Communists, Troons, Pronoun people” shows a ruthless, antagonistic stance that fits the song’s unapologetic, chaotic tone. The claim “I am old” aligns with the Rolling Stones’ legacy as an older, iconic band, reinforcing the fit. Overall, the song’s lines about being a “man of wealth and taste” and “the devil” echo the user’s self‑styled image as a feared, contrarian figure.

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BroJoeChiRho
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