Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Acknowledges posting habits and alt account behavior with humor in “i made an alt acc as if i dont post the exact same things on both of them 💔”.
- Hardworking: Handles hockey practice even when school is canceled and plays through extreme conditions in “school is canceled but hockey practice isn’t 🥹🤞” and “20+ ft of snow and ice never hurt anybody😈 my coach probably”.
- Affectionate: Expresses care for family and others, calling their child “son.” in “son.” and mentioning a beautiful wife and kids in their bio.
- Culturally-curious: Engages with multiple languages and cultures through posts like “farsi is abundant”, “multicultural friendships are so important to human growth”, and Spanish in “yo my bio project was abt how “señior virus” effects “el gato” + “el bébé gato””.
- Reflective: Thinks about impact and growth, as seen in “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world” and “multicultural friendships are so important to human growth”.
Weaknesses:
- Procrastination: Admits to starting major assignments late in “JUST turned in my essay that I started at 8 pm today and was assigned back in November” and cramming a midterm in “just turned in a whole ass midterm project with senshi in it”.
- Academic-disengagement: Openly says they weren’t doing work in a class until a project in “Whole different project btw I havent been doing shit in that class until now”.
- Overcommitted: Juggles serious hockey, school, and a Harvard business course as in “Im taking a Harvard business course rn why is everyone so smart”, suggesting a heavy load that may strain focus.
- Conflict-avoidant: Deletes replies to avoid negativity in “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world”, which can limit addressing issues directly.
- Self-deprecating: Frequently puts themselves down for humor or frustration, such as “NO BECAUSE WHY AM I SO SMALL FUCKKKKK” and calling their project “we’re so cooked” in “just turned in a whole ass midterm project with senshi in it to represent famine in ancient greece (we’re so cooked)”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
This user reads as a chaotic, big-hearted Homer Simpson type: confident but self-deprecating, chronically last-minute, and always in some goofy situation. Like Homer, they wing it in school and still scrape by, joking about starting an essay at 8 pm the day it’s due and then turning it in with a proud meltdown: “JUST turned in my essay that I started at 8 pm today and was assigned back in November”. Their love of simple joys and fandom—hockey, the Hershey Bears, and goofy memes—is very Homer-core, especially in excited posts like “WHATS THE TENDY DOIN!!!” and “insane #CristallClear glaze happening in hershey rn”. The user also has Homer’s mix of earnestness and clownery, from joking about ethics vs. Red Bull in “forced to discuss ethics vs morals applications born to discuss the bipolar new redbull flavors” to treating snow and danger with reckless bravado in “20+ ft of snow and ice never hurt anybody😈 my coach probably”. Underneath the chaos, there’s a surprisingly gentle streak—evident in posts like “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world”—which mirrors Homer’s occasional, unexpectedly sincere moments of care for his family and others.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they talk about teams, classmates, coaches, transport, and teammates a lot, and enjoy sharing their life publicly, e.g. the playful self-exposure in “i loooove posting with no one seeing them i feel like im in my little safe haven where i can say anything i want” and joking about subbing for another team in “i’m never telling my teammates that i’m subbing for another team… holy clip”. They seem iNtuitive: their humor leans conceptual and metaphorical, like using ‘senshi’ to represent famine in “just turned in a whole ass midterm project with senshi in it to represent famine in ancient greece (we’re so cooked)” and joking about ethics vs Red Bull flavors in “forced to discuss ethics vs morals applications born to discuss the bipolar new redbull flavors”. Their tone suggests Feeling: they care about emotional impact and harmony, as seen in “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world”, the affection in “multicultural friendships are so important to human growth”, and warm references to family in their bio. They appear Perceiving rather than Judging: they procrastinate and wing things, for instance “JUST turned in my essay that I started at 8 pm today and was assigned back in November” and admit to not working until the last minute in “Whole different project btw I havent been doing shit in that class until now”. The playful spontaneity in tweets like “#YOLO” and the lighthearted chaos around school, hockey, and projects strongly fit an ENFP profile: energetic, people-oriented, abstract-humored, values-driven, and flexible with structure.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’re a 6'5 goalie who turned in a Harvard business assignment late and still survived—how about you teach me time management and I’ll teach you how to manage having a heated rivalry… with my DMs?
- You made a whole midterm project about famine in ancient Greece with Senshi in it—wanna balance it out by absolutely FEASTING on a Hershey Bears game together sometime?
- School’s canceled but hockey practice isn’t, and apparently snow and ice ‘never hurt anybody’—so if I slip for you, does that count as practice or just me falling way too hard?
- You said you love posting where no one sees you like it’s a little safe haven—mind if I be the one person who sees everything and still thinks, ‘yeah, this is exactly my type of chaos’?
- Your bio project about ‘señior virus’ and ‘el bébé gato’ got a 94—clearly you’re fluent in goofy science, bad Spanish, and good vibes; want to collaborate on our next experiment: the chemical reaction when a #ALLCAPS fan and a flirt collide?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
6'5" goalie, serial last‑minute essay writer, snowstorm enthusiast. Watching Bears & ALL CAPS, taking Harvard biz notes between practices.– @bulova172
Your signature cocktail
The Heated Rivalry High Stick
This cocktail is tall, intense, and a little chaotic, just like a 6'5 goalie grinding through school, hockey, and last‑minute essays. The espresso-infused vodka is your overcaffeinated brain turning in a midterm and essay the night they’re due, inspired by “JUST turned in my essay that I started at 8 pm today and was assigned back in November” and “just turned in a whole ass midterm project with senshi in it to represent famine in ancient greece (we’re so cooked)”. The spiced hot chocolate with chili and cinnamon represents freezing practices and brutal weather, but also the warmth of still showing up for hockey, like “20+ ft of snow and ice never hurt anybody😈 my coach probably” and “school is canceled but hockey practice isn’t 🥹🤞”. Whipped cream with honey is the soft side that loves his family and peace, echoing “big tall 6'5 goalie w/ a beautiful wife and kids” and “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world”. The crushed peppermint rim nods to the playful, slightly unserious student who makes wild projects and multilingual jokes, like “yo my bio project was abt how “señior virus” effects “el gato” + “el bébé gato” and got an 94 you can’t make ts up” and “multicultural friendships are so important to human growth”. Finally, the dash of orange bitters adds that slightly unhinged, bitter-sarcastic edge you bring to heated rivalries and fandom, from “If I hear one more thing about heated rivalry im going to rival EVERYONES heatedry” to your relentless #HersheyBears and #ALLCAPS devotion in the bio.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
The strongest through-line in their posts is warmth, low-ego humor, and a desire not to worsen others’ moods, which is very Hufflepuff. They explicitly say they care about not spreading negativity in “deleting replies because i dislike creating more hate in the world”, showing a fairness- and kindness-first mindset rather than a need to be right. Their joy in small, low-stakes spaces like “i loooove posting with no one seeing them i feel like im in my little safe haven where i can say anything i want” reflects a Hufflepuff tendency to value comfort, safety, and community over clout or ambition. They are also clearly devoted to their team and role, joking about grinding through rough conditions in “20+ ft of snow and ice never hurt anybody😈 my coach probably” and keeping secrets like “i’m never telling my teammates that i’m subbing for another team… holy clip”, which reads as loyalty to their group identity. Even when joking about school and procrastination, they frame things in a self-deprecating, communal way—like “forced to discuss ethics vs morals applications born to discuss the bipolar new redbull flavors”—which fits the grounded, good-natured Hufflepuff vibe more than the sharper ambition of Slytherin or the prestige focus of Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo
A well‑known song that fits them is good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo, because it balances chaotic energy, sarcasm, and underlying emotional awareness—just like their timeline. They’re clearly juggling a lot with school and procrastination, like when they say they “JUST turned in my essay that I started at 8 pm today and was assigned back in November” and “just turned in a whole ass midterm project with senshi in it to represent famine in ancient greece (we’re so cooked)”, which matches the song’s frantic, overwhelmed vibe. Their hockey life as a big goalie with relentless practices despite blizzards—“20+ ft of snow and ice never hurt anybody😈 my coach probably” and “school is canceled but hockey practice isn’t 🥹🤞”—fits the song’s intense, high-energy pace. They also have a dramatic, slightly theatrical online persona, evident in lines like “If I hear one more thing about heated rivalry im going to rival EVERYONES heatedry” and “NO BECAUSE WHY AM I SO SMALL FUCKKKKK”, which resonates with Olivia Rodrigo’s expressive, over-the-top delivery. Even their self-aware posting style—“i loooove posting with no one seeing them i feel like im in my little safe haven where i can say anything i want”—echoes the song’s mix of vulnerability and attitude.
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