Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Frequently uses jokes and memes about football and life, e.g. exaggerating about Uruguayans’ surnames in “En Uruguay son tan pocas personas que todos los jugadores de Peñarol tienen el mismo apellido”.
- Self-aware: Shows awareness of his own online persona and limits, like acknowledging being the smallest account in a tournament in “Soy la cuenta más chica de todas las 32, esto ya es una epopeya”.
- Passionate: Displays strong passion for River and football, e.g. detailed opinions on transfers and players in “A Simón hay que mandarlo a préstamo a México SIN OPCION”.
- Community-oriented: Engages with other users’ jokes, polls, and small accounts, e.g. celebrating being included in a community event in “JSSJSJS que hago ahí dios”.
- Creative: Invents playful scenarios and hyperbole, like imagining Gallardo calling historical villains in “Gallardo llamo a Osama Bin Laden y a Adolf Hitler”.
Weaknesses:
- Insulting: Uses direct insults toward people, e.g. calling someone “El gordo puto de salas” in “El gordo puto de salas piensa hacer algo?”.
- Discriminatory: Tweets with prejudice toward nationalities or bodies, like “Para festejar tiremos paraguayos desde las tribunas” and comments about “gorda tucumana” in “Existirá alguna GT…”.
- Aggressive: Expresses violent fantasies in frustration with football, as in “me voy a matar en frente de los dirigentes de River”.
- Vulgar: Relies heavily on crude language and sexual references, e.g. “Di Carlo tiene pruebas fotográficas de Manzur teniendo relaciones con un enano” in this tweet.
- Overly-cynical: Shows persistent pessimism and contempt (for players, dirigentes, competitions), such as dismissing a player as “horrible” in “Es horrible el paraguayo este, me voy a matar…”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This account matches Bart Simpson: irreverent, mischievous, and constantly making jokes at other people’s expense. He’s always trolling rivals and authority figures with over‑the‑top insults, like calling a coach a “gordo puto de salas” or writing “Para festejar tiremos paraguayos desde las tribunas” in a deliberately provocative way (link). The user thrives on chaos and memes, jumping between self‑deprecation and bravado, as seen in “Quede afuera, voy a volver al anonimato y la irrelevancia” and bragging about account lore in “acá hay lore carajo.” Like Bart, he mixes juvenile humor with surprisingly sharp football takes, for example “Yo hablo poco de futbol para no avivar boludos(?)” and detailed opinions on players such as Simón and Palacios (“A Simón hay que mandarlo a préstamo a México SIN OPCION”, “no porque Palacios juegue mal”). Even his fixation on kits and canjes—“Mi sueño es hacer canje con los chinos que venden camisetas”—feels like Bart obsessing over some niche scheme for fun and status. Overall, he’s the football‑Twitter version of Bart: a sarcastic teenage agent of chaos who still clearly cares a lot underneath the trolling.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
They read as strongly extraverted: they constantly engage others, joke with followers, and put themselves at the center of social dynamics, e.g. bragging about their role in a follower tournament and account lore in “Soy la cuenta más chica de todas las 32, esto ya es una epopeya que algunos querrán desprestigiarla por un arroba(?)” and poking fun at their own handle in “Lo que ustedes no saben es que me puse este arroba porque yo perdí el mío original...”. Their humor is grounded in concrete, sensory details—football plays, specific players, and everyday situations—rather than abstractions, as in “Hizo un puré instantáneo y unas milanesas de supermercado” and “Cuando son las 5 de la mañana y no te queres volver solo del boliche”, suggesting Sensing over Intuition. They show a very Thinking style: blunt, often harsh evaluations and insults dominate their tone, for example “Es horrible el paraguayo este, me voy a matar en frente de los dirigentes de River” and “El gordo puto de salas piensa hacer algo?”, focusing on criticism rather than emotional harmony. Their tweets feel spontaneous and opportunistic rather than structured or planned, consistent with Perceiving: they riff on live football events and sudden transfer news, like “Esta potente el deadline day” and repeatedly changing narratives around signings in “Igual no es serio hablar de fichajes, los únicos que van a venir son Bareiro...”. The combination of high-energy banter, risk‑taking humor, live sports focus, and in‑the‑moment reactions best matches an ESTP profile.
Some pickup lines for you
- If Franco Armani can sell his soul to the devil just to save penalties, I can at least sell mine to get a chance to watch a River game with you in the Sívori. Fair trade, no?
- You say you entered Twitter at 13 and now you’re 18 and ‘no longer a cherub’, but with the way you defend Armani to go to the 2026 World Cup, you’re still giving guardian angel energy to this national team… adopt me as one of your devotos?
- You were willing to carry Armani to the 2026 World Cup ‘just in case of penalties’; I promise I’m more reliable than River’s mediocampo you called ‘the worst you’ve ever seen’—let me be your Enzo Pérez, I don’t disappear in finales.
- You complain about helping three people get their Chinese shirts and yours never arriving… I can fix that injustice: we order a couple from your beloved GRKITS, they ‘miraculously’ arrive on time, and we celebrate like we just eliminated Boca in a Mundial de Clubes.
- You talk about being a ‘solid 7.5/10’ at 50 hours without sleep—imagine your rating fully rested, with River campeón and a date with me at the Monumental; even Chiqui Tapia would approve registering that transfer mid-tournament.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Valentino | 18 | River Plate sufferer with a soft spot for cheap kits and long transfer windows. Once helped 3 people get shirts before getting my own.– @CARPargento__
Your signature cocktail
Mystery Mix
A unique blend.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Valentino shows strong Slytherin traits: competitiveness, ambition for clout, and a willingness to use whatever angle he can to get ahead. He openly strategizes about exploiting his username and recognition to win votes in the "mundial de encu", saying he’ll "rob votos" because he has the Capargento handle: “En una horita vuelvo a robar votos con tener el arroba de Capargento” and proudly calls his run an epic despite being the smallest account: “Soy la cuenta más chica de todas las 32, esto ya es una epopeya que algunos querrán desprestigiarla por un arroba(?)”. He’s very focused on follower counts and relative status, noting how many followers others have versus him and framing it as a battle he’s sadly losing: “Por primera vez en todo el mundial estoy perdiendo, el otro gordazo tiene 300k, lamentablemente inviable ganarle con 6k kjjj” and even tracking how he recovered his follower base after suspension: “ahora con el mundial de encu volví a los 6k que tenía cuando me habían suspendido”. His humor is sharp, cutting, and often ruthless toward others, such as mocking physical appearance and competence: “Lo gordo que debe ser el que maneja esta cuenta” and “Los jugadores de boca son tan malos que lograron que huracán gane una final”, showing a preference for dominance over harmony. At the same time, he’s opportunistic and transactional, especially in his pursuit of free shirts and sponsorships: “Mi sueño es hacer canje con los chinos que venden camisetas, cada vez que veo un tuit de ustedes de eso me dan muchísima envidia, y no de la sana”, underscoring classic Slytherin ambition and resourcefulness rather than Hufflepuff-like selfless loyalty or Ravenclaw-like intellectualism.
Your movie
Your song
Muchachos, ahora nos volvimos a ilusionar - La Mosca Tse-Tse
A hyper-passionate, football-obsessed Argentine who lives everything through River and the selección fits perfectly with Muchachos. They constantly frame life around fútbol, from lines like “Julian Alvarez me dio mas alegrias que River en los ultimos 4 años” to turning every topic into River or Argentina debates such as “FRANCO ARMANI DEBE VOLVER A LA SELECCIÓN, SOLO ASÍ SEREMOS BICAMPEONES”. The song’s mix of suffering, humor and renewed hope mirrors their own oscillation between rage and ilusión when they tweet things like “Riverga me saco las ganas de ver el mundial de clubes, me volví un fanático del Barcelona” and then “Realmente el mundial de clubes despierta algo en mi… Necesito que los sudamericanos(menos boca) clasifiquen todos”. The meme-y, self-aware tone of the song also fits their constant chicanas and jokes, for example “Soy hincha de River, pero ante todo soy persona, vengate Diego querido, paga la cláusula de Borja, Nacho Fernández, Enzo Pérez y Gonzalo tapia”. Overall, it’s the anthem of an Argentine hincha that lives suffering, rivalry and joy exactly the way this account does.
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