Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares feelings about school and mental health, like “I actually feel like on gonna cry I don't wanna go back to school holy shit” and “The 'you are not alone' shit is so annoying bc yeah I know that but I still wanna die that doesn't help”.
- Self-aware: Recognizes his own patterns, e.g. “Having to keep up acting annoying ASF bc last time I acted like a sensible person I lost my best friend.” and “'I need to finish my fic tonight' I say knowing I'm procrastinating.”.
- Creative fanwriter: Writes and finishes fanfic, like the Saurtis middle school AU: “Finally my Saurtis middle school au one shot is done!!” and shares detailed AU ideas such as “Fake dating au but they forget they're not actually dating and just end up in a relationship”.
- Humorous playful: Uses jokes and absurdity even about awkward topics, like “Choking on Lowen? More like choking on this dick. Ok I'm sorry.” and “When the waist band of my boxers rips halfway off so now one of my ass cheeks just be hanging out (this is a joke my ass is not out)”.
- Reflective introspective: Thinks about past experiences and their impact, such as “Holy shit I just remebered that i was pulled out of class and questioned by cps when I was in kindergarten.” and “When I was younger I was repeatedly assaulted... and now I have issues with being way to sexual for my age.”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive urges: Mentions wanting to self-harm despite monitoring: “Wanting to cut but I can't do that bc I'm gonna get caught if I cut for the next few months I'm being heavily monitored by my mom and teachers,,,,”.
- Unhealthy eating: Engages with edtwt and extreme restriction, for example “I proceeded to not eat or drink anything for 3 days and lose my ability to walk and sit up.” and “I keep forgetting a lot of the pp On edtwt are girls,,, where the dudes at bro 💔”.
- Low self-worth: Describes himself harshly and as a failure, e.g. bio saying “im just a stupid boy failure shit posting!” and feeling invalidated by others: “My ex insulted my writing skills once and I don't think I've recovered yet.”.
- Sleep neglect: Treats severe sleep deprivation as normal, as in “Usually I average 2 hours of sleep a night.” and still pushes himself with plans like “I'm so tired but I will power through,,, the sleep tonight will be the best sleep ever”.
- Sexual boundary issues: References grooming and early assault while also frequently posting explicit content, e.g. “'one year since!' And it's me being groomed 😭”, “When I was younger I was repeatedly assaulted...”, and sexual jokes like “Throw back to when I was watching porn and it auto scrolled to one of my fav clips”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The best match is Lisa Simpson, especially her more anxious, fandom-obsessed teen versions in later seasons and extended media. This user is emotionally intense and introspective, sharing thoughts like “The 'you are not alone' shit is so annoying bc yeah I know that but I still wanna die that doesn't help” and “Having to keep up acting annoying ASF bc last time I acted like a sensible person I lost my best friend.”, which echoes Lisa’s struggle to balance authenticity, depression, and social acceptance. They’re highly online and hyperfixated on niche interests—Minecraft, Hermitcraft, YHS, shipping, and fic writing—similar to Lisa’s obsessive dives into jazz, reading, or causes, shown in tweets like “I'm not on twitter as much because my life is consumed by minecraft” and “Finally my Saurtis middle school au one shot is done!!”. Their sensitivity about being judged (“Sometimes I forget people actually have the energy to get ready in the morning… pray nobody notices my hair is greasy or that I haven't changed”) and feeling out of place socially (“Seeing my friends actually have social lives scares me because I don't talk to people irl. My entire social life is online.”) fits Lisa’s outsider, overthinking nature. Even their self-deprecating humor and serious topics—trauma, disability, mental health, school dread—mirror Lisa’s mix of dark realism and trying to cope in a world that overwhelms her.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): their ‘social life’ is mostly online and they feel out of place compared to their IRL peers, as in “Seeing my friends actually have social lives scares me because I don't talk to people irl. My entire social life is online.”, and they often mention exhaustion and hiding in fandoms rather than going out, like “I'm not on twitter as much because my life is consumed by minecraft”. They read as Intuitive (N) because they gravitate toward meanings, metaphors, and character dynamics more than concrete facts, e.g. connecting songs and quotes to ships and feelings in tweets like “'Song against sex' by neutral milk hotel is how I see grellen.” and “'a hungry man thinks of bread' I said Lowen instead of Rowan.”. Their decision-making emphasizes emotion and interpersonal impact, suggesting Feeling (F): they worry about losing friends and being judged (“Having to keep up acting annoying ASF bc last time I acted like a sensible person I lost my best friend.”) and are hurt by emotional criticism like “My ex insulted my writing skills once and I don't think I've recovered yet.”. Finally, they seem Perceiving (P): they procrastinate and struggle with structure (“'I need to finish my fic tonight' I say knowing I'm procrastinating.”), have erratic sleep and school habits (“Sometimes I forget people actually have the energy to get ready in the morning I wake up less than 15 minutes before I have to go…”), and let interests (Hermitcraft, fanfic, ships) pull them in spontaneous directions rather than following a strict plan. Taken together, their introspective, emotionally intense, fandom-and-meaning-focused, and somewhat disorganized vibe aligns best with INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said ‘like all of my tweets, they’re a part of me’—so if I keep liking every ADHD-medication-vomit-post, saurtis-fic-rant, and “Mumbo in the cuck chair” tweet, does that mean I’m slowly collecting pieces of you?
- Fake dating AU where they forget they’re not actually dating and just end up together… bold pitch: we skip the ‘fake’ part, keep the Minecraft obsession, and let the relationship side-quest start now.
- You watch Hermitcraft in class with your brightness on full and still don’t care about judgment—if you can be that brave with Grian and Joel on screen, maybe you could handle going out with a boy who thinks your middle school Saurtis fic is genuinely impressive.
- You joked about being ‘just a stupid boy failure shit posting’ and losing moots after shifting from sh-twt to fandom, but you wrote a whole fic, survived CPS pulling you out of class, a messed‑up MRI story, and a grooming anniversary—calling you a failure feels way less accurate than calling you someone I’d like to know properly.
- You keep tweeting ‘I’m so tired’ and ‘I’d rather be hungry than alone’—counter-offer: we split a soda at your dad’s place, watch Minecraft until stupid o’clock, and for one night you’re both tired and not alone.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
14 • he/him • writes Minecraft & YHS fic, survives on 2 hours of sleep and Hermitcraft lore. Once watched Minecraft in class with brightness on max.– @CatSw1sh
Your signature cocktail
Stupid Boy Failure Fizz
The caffeinated citrus vodka is for the chronic exhaustion and chaos of averaging almost no sleep while powering through school and fandom life, like when they said “Usually I average 2 hours of sleep a night.” The sour cherry liqueur represents their mix of hurt and dark humor about trauma and self-hate, from “The 'you are not alone' shit is so annoying bc yeah I know that but I still wanna die that doesn't help” to “one year since! And it's me being groomed 😭”. Blue curaçao stands in for the hyper-online, Minecraft-and-fandom-brainrot vibes of “I'm not on twitter as much because my life is consumed by minecraft” and writing saurtis fic while cuddling a Scar body pillow in “Writing saurtis fanfic while cuddling my gtwScar bodypillow”. The lemon-lime soda adds a bright, silly sweetness to match their shitposty enthusiasm in things like “YIPPLIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!??!??!? 💚💚💚” and their dramatic fandom shipping, as in “Yes I do freak out whenever J and Dom are anywhere near each other in fan media AND canon.”. Finally, a dash of saline cuts through the sweetness like their self-aware, slightly bitter realism about their mental health and eating issues, echoing “Life is highkey fucking me in the ass but it's fine” and “Me wanting to lose weight is kinda funny bc I talk about finding fat guys and women attractive all the time 😭”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Jayke shows strong Hufflepuff traits in how much he cares about relationships, emotional safety, and steady attachment, even when things are chaotic. He’s very openly affected by losing or fearing the loss of people, like when he says “Having to keep up acting annoying ASF bc last time I acted like a sensible person I lost my best friend.” and when he’s anxious after confessing in someone’s Strawpage “so now I live in constant anxiety”. There’s a loyalty and steadiness in sticking with his interests and comforts—he’s deeply attached to specific fandoms and routines, like watching Hermitcraft, reworking the same fics, and even clinging to an ex’s hoodie before finally letting it go in “Finally retiring my ex's hoodie that has a ripped pocket and a burn hole ❤️🩹🙏”. Even when he jokes harshly about himself, he’s gentle toward others in subtle ways, such as worrying about upsetting his English teacher after viewing her TikTok on his public account “Hoping she don't got profile views on!” and feeling bad about losing mutuals while insisting he’s still around for them in “I’ve been rapidly losing moots… I promise I’m still cool just trying to recover 😭”. While he has flashes of dark humor and impulsiveness that might hint at Gryffindor or Slytherin, his core is about attachment, perseverance through pain, and wanting to stay connected to people and communities, which aligns most with Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
The song Teenagers fits Jayke because it captures that mix of dark humor, frustration, and chaotic vulnerability that shows up all over their timeline. They joke about their own messiness and mental health, like when they say they’re “just a stupid boy failure shit posting!” and admit “The 'you are not alone' shit is so annoying bc yeah I know that but I still wanna die that doesn't help”, which mirrors the song’s bitter, fed‑up tone. Their strained relationship with adults and authority also lines up with the song’s angst: they mention being terrified of their mom’s reaction after “Hearing my mom fall in the room over and being terrified it's gonna set her off again” and recalling CPS questioning them in kindergarten in “I was pulled out of class and questioned by cps”. The song’s themes of feeling watched and controlled resonate with tweets like “I'm being heavily monitored by my mom and teachers”. On top of that, their sleep-deprived, overonline, Minecraft-and-fandom-obsessed energy, like “My entire social life is online” and “My life is consumed by Minecraft”, matches the chaotic, crowded, too-loud teenage world the song describes.
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