Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Frequently turns everyday chaos into jokes, like laughing at house mess and hangover at work while chatting with a 3-year-old about letters “nao sei nem explicar a bagunça q ta minha casa parece q passasam 3 furacoes por aqui” and “morrendo de ressaca no trabalho mas to aq batendo um papo com meu maninho de 3 anos sobre N ser navio e B ser barco”.
- Affectionate: Expresses strong warmth and care toward friends, family, and crushes, calling people ‘minha princesinha’ “minha princesinha” and hyping up Namtan’s looks and smile enthusiastically “td bem q ela sabe q eh bonita mas sera q ela sabe q o sorriso dela brilha mais do q o sol no verão do rio de janeiro?”.
- Self‑aware: Openly acknowledges her own states and flaws, like being overly talkative due to work “to falando mto hoje pqp eh td culpa dos relatorios q me obrigam a ficar no pc direto” and knowing she’d skip work for a show because she hates her job “ainda bem q odeio meu trabalho ent vou faltar em paz”.
- Dedicated: Shows commitment to fitness and progress, celebrating increased weights at the gym “eh tao satisfatório aumentar a carga na academia ne” and adjusting training based on how her clothes fit “tava dando a vida pra aumentar a carga da adutora e abdutora mas ai lembrei dos meus shorts apertando”.
- Emotionally_open: Shares vulnerable feelings about love and relationships, like not getting over a past crush “nunca mais vo conseguir namorar na vida pq nunca vou superar essa 1 menina especifica” and commenting on complicated dynamics with her mother “de tempos em tempos minha mae me lembra q ela meio q me odeia mto”.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: Makes decisions without fully considering consequences, such as deciding to skip work for a show after buying tickets “ainda bem q odeio meu trabalho ent vou faltar em paz 🙏🏽 tudo pelas minhas lesbicas” and questioning all life choices while heading to the beach in the cold “questionando tds as minhas escolhas de vida enq vou p praia nesse frio”.
- Reckless_driver: Jokes in ways that imply risk on the road, like calling not using the phone while driving a ‘skill issue’ “acho esse papo de n poder mexer no celular dirigindo meio skill issue.” and describing nearly hitting an elderly man “se eu atropelasse ele ia ser considerado suicidio”.
- Harsh_judgment: Can be very blunt or cutting about others, such as calling her nephews ‘tudo bicha ridicula’ in a mocking context “infelizmente n posso dizer o msm pq passei pela fase gleek do eduardo meus sobrinhos sao tudo bicha ridicula” and saying straight horror is bad and ‘terror hetero eh RUIM’ “literalmente pra ser terror bom tem q ser queer coded terror hetero eh RUIM”.
- Boundary_blurring: Sometimes overshares or mixes personal and professional spheres, like joking about clinical reports listing everything children can’t do “fazer relatorio de algumas crianças eh divertido pq eh ir falando nao sabe falar nao sabe ler nao sabe escrever” and recounting a patient trying to pry into her LGBT circle “essa safada ta tentando tirar informação de mim”.
- Self_sabotaging: Shows patterns of undercutting her own well‑being, such as heavy drinking then being nonfunctional “enchi demais a cara qm quiser me falar qqr bobagem to rindo atoa” and insisting she’ll never be able to date again because of one idealized person “nunca mais vo conseguir namorar na vida pq nunca vou superar essa 1 menina especifica”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user is best matched with Lisa Simpson: smart, outspoken, politically aware, and very emotionally online. Like Lisa, they mix social consciousness with sharp humor, commenting on politics and society with lines like “cara qq o eduardo paes ta fazendo em israel puta q pariu esse homrm” and “literalmente pra ser terror bom tem q ser queer coded terror hetero eh RUIM o terror nasceu dos lgbts”. They’re deeply queer and reflective about relationships and crushes, as in “nesse dia dos namorados cheguei a conclusao q nunca mais vo conseguir namorar na vida pq nunca vou superar essa 1 menina especifica…”, which mirrors Lisa’s tendency to overthink love and attachment. Their work with kids and reports (e.g. “fazer relatorio de algumas crianças eh divertido pq eh ir falando nao sabe falar nao sabe ler…”) fits Lisa’s studious, school-centered life, just aged up into adult reality. The mix of sarcasm, vulnerability, and niche fandom obsession—especially thirsting over actresses and Thai GL like “nao posso morrer sem dar pra essa mulher vcs n entendem eh mt serio serissimo!!!!”—feels like Lisa if she grew up queer, got a Twitter, and leaned fully into her chaotic millennial energy.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert: they constantly describe going to parties, festivals, multiple social plans in one night, and chatting with kids and classmates, e.g. talking to a 3‑year‑old about letters at work “morrendo de ressaca no trabalho mas to aq batendo um papo com meu maninho de 3 anos…” and casually skipping work for a show "tudo pelas minhas lesbicas" “lara surtou mandou no grupo gnt vamos nesse show aqui…”, which suggests strong outward energy and social engagement. Their language is very Intuitive, focused on impressions, interpretations and dramatic reactions rather than concrete detail, like queer-coding horror as a whole genre “literalmente pra ser terror bom tem q ser queer coded terror hetero eh RUIM o terror nasceu dos lgbts” or spinning small events into big emotional narratives about love and crushes “nesse dia dos namorados cheguei a conclusao q nunca mais vo conseguir namorar…”. They are clearly Feeling-oriented, prioritizing emotions, aesthetics, and relationships over analytical detachment, as shown by their intense poetic simping over Namtan’s smile “sera q ela sabe q o sorriso dela brilha mais do q o sol no verão do rio de janeiro?” and empathy/irony in work with children “fazer relatorio de algumas crianças eh divertido pq eh ir falando nao sabe falar nao sabe ler…” rather than coldly clinical commentary. Their lifestyle reads as Perceiving: lots of spontaneity, procrastination, and last‑minute choices—like realizing only after buying tickets that they work that day but deciding to just skip “ainda bem q odeio meu trabalho ent vou faltar em paz”, or heading to the beach in the cold while "questionando tds as minhas escolhas de vida" “questionando tds as minhas escolhas de vida enq vou p praia nesse frio”. Put together, the highly social, emotionally expressive, imaginative, and flexible style best matches ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said good horror has to be queer-coded, but honestly, the scariest thing I’ve seen lately is the possibility of not getting to be your plus one at that Terror vs. whatever event.
- If you can talk about N being navio and B being barco with a 3-year-old while hungover, imagine the alphabet soup we’d create debriefing a Friday 13th double party and a festival de Dia dos Namorados together.
- You’re out here increasing the carga on adutora e abdutora, freezing at 6 a.m., and still wrapping Valentine’s gifts like a pro… I don’t want to say ‘wife material’, but my Italian nonna would definitely approve.
- You once said the sun coming out gives you vital energy like a little solar-powered creature — I’m just trying to be the human version of that sun so you’ll want to recharge on a date with me.
- You’ve survived furacões na sua casa, driving with the heater on, missing shows because of work, and being emotionally destroyed by one dream girl… how about we start your ‘one paixão em cada cidade’ plan with me and see if I can finally beat the high score?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Child psych, horror & queer cinema, Rio traffic survivor. Once corrected a 3yo on ships vs boats while hungover at work. Opinions are my own.– @cestgio
Your signature cocktail
Frio de Janeiro Queer Crush
A cachaça infused with cold brew base mirrors their combo of carioca chaos and workday exhaustion, like chatting with a 3-year-old about letters while hungover at the job “morrendo de ressaca no trabalho mas to aq batendo um papo com meu maninho de 3 anos sobre N ser navio e B ser barco pq o carinha tava confundindo afinal os desenhos sao iguais ne”. Passion fruit puree is for their dramatic lesbian thirst and unapologetic crush energy, from “nunca mais vo conseguir namorar na vida pq nunca vou superar essa 1 menina especifica” to them vowing “nao posso morrer sem dar pra essa mulher” “nao posso morrer sem dar pra essa mulher vcs n entendem eh mt serio serissimo!!!!”. Pink peppercorn syrup adds a spicy, slightly chaotic kick, like threatening followers over their niece and dragging random celebrities and politicians in the timeline “caras eu vo matar todas vcs q seguem minha sobrinha.”. Lime juice keeps it sharp and bright, echoing their sun-powered mood swings and sudden bursts of life when the weather finally cooperates “impressionante como eh so aparecer o sol q eu volto a ter energia vital, me sinto aqueles bichinhos movidos a luz solar”. A sea salt rim nods to being from errejota, freezing on the way to the beach and still going out for terror movies and queer parties in the cold “questionando tds as minhas escolhas de vida enq vou p praia nesse frio”. Strong, tangy, and a little unhinged, it’s the drink you order right before skipping work for a lesbian show because, honestly, you hate your job anyway “ainda bem q odeio meu trabalho ent vou faltar em paz 🙏🏽 tudo pelas minhas lesbicas”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
This user shows a strong Gryffindor mix of boldness, recklessness, and willingness to go all‑in for what (and who) they care about. They casually accept risking trouble at work to prioritize friends and queer joy, saying they’ll skip work for a show “tudo pelas minhas lesbicas” in “ainda bem q odeio meu trabalho ent vou faltar em paz 🙏🏽 tudo pelas minhas lesbicas”. There’s an impulsive, slightly chaotic courage in things like drinking heavily and openly inviting random chatter in “enchi demais a cara qm quiser me falar qqr bobagem to rindo atoa”, or nearly hitting an old man and joking darkly about it in “se eu atropelasse ele ia ser considerado suicidio”. Their protective, confrontational streak shows up when they threaten followers who follow their niece in “caras eu vo matar todas vcs q seguem minha sobrinha.”, and when they hint at explosive sexual attraction they’d ‘go to jail’ talking about in “esse dia do rei leao eu nao tenho nem como comentar sem ser presa por atentado ao pudor”. Even in love, they frame themselves as someone who would chase hard and dramatically, as in “se for p correr atrás dela eu corro mais rápido do q o bolt”, which fits Gryffindor’s intense, big‑gesture style more than the quieter loyalty of Hufflepuff or the cerebral focus of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
thank u, next - Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande’s thank u, next fits gio’s chaotic, romantic, very online lesbian energy and her reflective side about past relationships. She’s openly opinionated about pop culture, even joking that “vcs me perdoem mas eu vou sim falar mal da ariana grande e da view”, which matches the song’s self-aware, slightly petty but ultimately self-loving tone. There’s a strong theme of moving on while still being soft about love, like when she admits “nesse dia dos namorados cheguei a conclusao q nunca mais vo conseguir namorar na vida pq nunca vou superar essa 1 menina especifica”. Her dramatic romantic ideals and crushes, for example “nao posso morrer sem dar pra essa mulher vcs n entendem eh mt serio serissimo!!!!” and her obsessive affection for Namtan, mirror the song’s blend of intense feeling and growth. And the way she narrates her life like episodes—hungover at work, gym arcs, family drama, queer obsessions—makes her timeline feel like the kind of messy, evolving love story thank u, next celebrates.
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