Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares deep feelings, like self-loathing and fear, in posts such as “i’m genuinely so uncomfortable in my skin i feel abnormal i feel fake i feel like a damn skin walker”.
- Humorous: Uses jokes and playful wording even when upset, e.g. “i procrastinated pooping and now i’m constipated” and “orange orange orange... orange u glad im here😂😂😂”.
- Affectionate: Shows strong love for friends and fictional characters, like “i❤️❤️i love❤️❤️all my friends❤️❤️❤️thank u for buying me food❤️❤️❤️” and devotion to Subaru in “i am subaru natsuki and subaru natsuki is me… i love him very much”.
- Self-aware: Recognizes patterns in their behavior and emotions, e.g. “i used to be worse then this,,,this is nothhhjbg positive mind only positive mind onlllly” and “oversharing overexplaining overspeaking 3 things i’m HIGHLY goated at✌️”.
- Creative thinker: Expresses feelings in vivid, imaginative ways, like “my brain feels like those watermelons that are forced to wear 200 rubber bands and they ultimately explode” and poetic reflections in “having the ability to write your feelings and truly express your emotions is sincerely a gift”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Frequently talks about cutting and wanting to relapse, such as “there’s too many cuts on my left arm so it hurts to move it UGH” and “can my shit heal already i wanna relapse soon bad ughhhh”.
- Suicidal ideation: Repeatedly mentions wanting to die or kill themself, including “i really want to kill myself but i can’t cuz im a fucking pussy and what if it doesn’t work” and “yeah hate to be that one always depressed guy but i genuinely think that my sorrow won’t end until i eventually kill myself”.
- Hostile resentment: Expresses intense anger toward others, such as “i think that everyone in my family should die” and “can everyone just die already why tf are 90% of my problems because of other people bro u humans SUCK”.
- Low self-worth: Describes feeling worthless and unlovable, e.g. “i look boring i act boring i sound boring i am boring” and “i am not who you want i never have been”.
- Therapy resistance: Pushes back against professional help, like “this online therapy ain’t doing shit might as well block this mf and call it a DAY✌️ ok well mainly cuz she told me to get rid of all my scissors and my scissors r very precious to me” and “i lied i don’t need help from anybody i love feeling miserable”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially her combination of intense inner turmoil, intelligence, and feeling misunderstood. Like Lisa, they oscillate between self-aware despair and bursts of idealism, saying things like “yeah hate to be that one always depressed guy but i genuinely think that my sorrow won’t end until i eventually kill myself,, whatever man just put on a big ol smile to school and call it a DAY nobody gaf if u kys🤣” while still caring about school, robotics, and their interests. They’re introspective and poetic about their emotions, e.g. “having the ability to write your feelings and truly express your emotions is sincerely a gift but having to showcase your deepest vulnerabilities is what’s hard”, which mirrors Lisa’s habit of overthinking and journaling her feelings. They also feel alienated in their family and angry at others, as in “can everyone just die already why tf are 90% of my problems because of other people bro u humans SUCK” and “i think that everyone in my family should die”, echoing Lisa’s frequent sense that no one around her really understands her. At the same time, they show deep attachment to friends and fictional characters—“i❤️❤️i love❤️❤️all my friends❤️❤️❤️thank u for buying me food❤️❤️❤️and for callingme❤️❤️❤️and hanging out❤️❤️ilove myfrens❤️❤️❤️” and their devotion to Subaru Natsuki—just as Lisa clings hard to the few people and ideals that make her feel seen. Overall, the mix of melancholy, self-harm ideation, emotional intensity, and flashes of joy and nerdy enthusiasm aligns far more with Lisa than with the more chaotic or oblivious members of the Simpson family.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert: they treat X like a private diary and complain about people intruding on it, e.g. bio “i treat this app like a little diary and you people are snooping inside” and posts about needing "me time" like “idk why people expect me to text them after school,,buddy i already talked to you alot today wdym i also have to text you when it’s me time??”. Their focus is clearly Intuitive rather than concrete: they constantly dramatize feelings and use metaphor (“skin walker,” “architect of my own destruction”), as in “i am the architect of my own destruction” and “my brain feels like those watermelons that are forced to wear 200 rubber bands and they ultimately explode”. They are strongly Feeling: decisions and values are emotional and relational rather than logical, seen in “im sorry if i came off as rude… just don’t leave me” and how intensely they fixate on a past relationship in “idek why i miss her to the core… she showed me what it felt like to be seen, heard, and to be loved”. Their lifestyle is clearly Perceiving: they procrastinate, are impulsive, and resist structure, like “i procrastinated pooping and now i’m constipated” and the messy, spur‑of‑the‑moment self-harm plans in “i can’t even cut until mid winter break because of school UGH”. Overall, the combination of introspective diary-like posting, metaphor-heavy emotional expression, intense idealization of characters/people (“my motivation for living is seeing the entirety of both csm and rezero getting animated”), and disorganized, reactive behavior aligns best with INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said your motivation for living is seeing all of Re:Zero and CSM animated… what if we make a deal: you stay alive for every new episode, and I’ll stay alive so I can take Subaru’s rival on a Valentine’s date to Cheesecake Factory with you.
- You treat your account like a diary and call yourself a ‘cute cheesecake’—so if I promise not to snoop, can I at least be the little note in the margins that makes you laugh when you reread the page?
- You said your brain feels like a watermelon with 200 rubber bands on it; I can’t fix the headache, but I can absolutely be the idiot sitting next to you, counting down the rubber bands and feeding you Snapple and donuts until it pops.
- You joked that your asthma pump is the closest thing you have to vaping, but honestly your Rezero/Subaru rambling is already the strongest hit I’ve ever seen—mind if I get addicted to you instead?
- You said everyday is so slow and you just want it to be December already; statistically speaking, time passes faster when you’re having fun, so for the sake of science, you might have to let me be your jolly side quest while we speedrun to winter.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Part-time robotics kid, full-time anime ranter. Once procrastinated so hard I got constipated—now I just procrastinate feelings instead.– @cheemzecake
Your signature cocktail
Cheesecake Blood Moon Fizz
This drink starts with strawberry cheesecake liqueur for their self-proclaimed cuteness and cheesecake-core identity, echoing “i am cute cheesecake” and that sweet, jolly persona in “i’m so sad and miserable all the time but im also the jolliest and most hyper person you’ll meet ok?!”. Blackberry gin adds a dark, moody undertone for all the intrusive and violent thoughts like “i think that everyone in my family should die” and “can everyone just die already why tf are 90% of my problems because of other people bro u humans SUCK”. The tonic water with edible glitter represents their chaotic, oversharing sparkle and diary-like posting style from “oversharing overexplaining overspeaking 3 things i’m HIGHLY goated at✌️” and using the app as a secret journal in “i treat this app like a little diary and you people are snooping inside”. A dash of Campari brings a sharp bitterness for the self-harm and suicidal ideation, as in “i really want to kill myself but i can’t cuz im a fucking pussy and what if it doesn’t work” and “every time i feel an ounce of happiness my mind immediately tells me to cut as if i don’t deserve to be gleeful”. Finally, a lemon peel twist on top nods to their sharp humor and absurdist bits like “orange orange orange…orange u glad im here😂😂😂” and coping via anime-fueled delusions in “on valentine’s day i’m gonna make a cardboard cutout of subaru natsuki and im gonna take him to cheesecake factory and im gonna propose to him w a cheesecakering”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They show strong self-preservation and ruthless, defensive hostility toward others, which is very Slytherin-coded. For example, they say “can everyone just die already why tf are 90% of my problems because of other people bro u humans SUCK” and “i think that everyone in my family should die”, framing people primarily as threats and obstacles rather than a community to belong to. They are highly self-focused and openly reject others’ expectations: “i have zero hopes for my future fuck all of you i don’t need to present myself in a way to please you and i don’t need to live up to your expectations”, which fits Slytherin’s individualism more than Gryffindor or Hufflepuff ideals. There is also a streak of dramatic, almost performative edge and fixation on their own narrative—“architect of my own destruction” in “i am the architect of my own destruction”—that reads more like Slytherin self-mythologizing than Ravenclaw-style analysis. Even when they acknowledge loving their friends, as in “i❤️❤️i love❤️❤️all my friends❤️❤️❤️thank u for buying me food❤️❤️❤️and for callingme❤️❤️❤️and hanging out❤️❤️ilove myfrens❤️❤️❤️”, it’s embedded in a broader pattern of volatile, possessive, and often spiteful emotion that best aligns with Slytherin’s intensity and self-protective nature.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
A fitting song for @cheemzecake is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, because it blends dark, intrusive thoughts with a surreal, half‑joking self-awareness that mirrors their timeline. They openly talk about self-harm and suicidal ideation, like when they say “i really want to kill myself but i can’t cuz im a fucking pussy and what if it doesn’t work” and “yeah hate to be that one always depressed guy but i genuinely think that my sorrow won’t end until i eventually kill myself”, which fits the song’s fixation on death, fear, and self-destruction. The line between wanting help and wanting to stay miserable—“i lied i don’t need help from anybody i love feeling miserable”—echoes the song’s push-pull between seeking release and clinging to the darkness. Their self-harm compulsion, like “every time i feel an ounce of happiness my mind immediately tells me to cut as if i don’t deserve to be gleeful”, resonates with the song’s themes of being haunted and controlled by your own mind. Even their mix of jolly, chaotic posting and genuine despair—“i’m so sad and miserable all the time but im also the jolliest and most hyper person you’ll meet ok?!”—matches the unsettling contrast in Bury a Friend between playful sound and disturbing lyrics.
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