
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Moe, Cherry Pie is a cynical small-business owner whose life is a cycle of equipment failure and general misery, frequently posting things like “no longer want to bake. i want to pass now ❤️”. They share a short-tempered, aggressive social media presence, seen when they abruptly tell people “KILLLYOIRESELF” or lash out at customers with “okay its july you f slurs leave”. Despite the hostility, there is a clear sense of exhaustion with their surroundings, lamenting that “is the economy shit again or do we need more international holidays”. Ultimately, both characters balance running a public establishment while being openly “sore and sad” and desperate to be “dug out of the trenches.”

Your MBTI personality Type
Cherry Pie demonstrates Introversion (I) through a preference for solitary work and home comforts, missing their “old couch” and valuing time alone. Their Sensing (S) and Thinking (T) traits are evident in their mechanical focus and blunt communication style, such as when they “tamper with the oven” to fix machinery or use harsh language like “KILLLYOIRESELF” when annoyed. The Perceiving (P) preference is highlighted by a lack of planning and a reactive nature, often closing the bakery spontaneously because they “don't feel like” opening or because they simply “no longer want to bake”. Overall, they are a practical, hands-on individual who prioritizes their own immediate needs and technical interests over social conventions.

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Your new Twitter bio
Proprietor of Whisk & Wander. I specialize in macarons and fixing the oven Laser broke. No couples on Valentine’s Day and please stop asking about my hands.– @cheripie314

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail captures Cherry Pie’s chaotic energy, starting with a smoky Mezcal base to honor her Inphernal heritage and the time she spent “tampering with the oven”. The bitter cherry liqueur reflects her sharp tongue and tendency to tell people to “KILLLYOIRESELF”, while a dollop of condensed milk adds a texture as thick as the sealant she obsessed over when she tweeted, “I HATE CAULKING”. Finally, edible silver glitter is stirred in to represent the tech-modding side of a baker who would rather be “modding my old one” than buying a new MP3 player. It’s a bitter, experimental drink perfect for someone who claims, “not me! i am sane”.

Your Hogwarts House
Cherry Pie exhibits classic Slytherin traits of self-preservation and resourcefulness, specifically seen in her decision to close the bakery whenever she “doesn't feel like it” or to avoid capitalism, which she calls “a joke”. Her ambition is directed toward her own comfort and branding, showing a cunning edge when she bans couples from her shop during Valentine's Day because she was “bored”. She prioritizes her own needs over others, openly stating “i really dont care” and displaying a sharp, sometimes abrasive leadership style when she tells people to “lock the fuck in”. This combination of self-interest, bluntness, and the desire to “rebrand” for her own benefit aligns her firmly with the house of ambition.

Your movie

Your song
The song's blend of domestic exhaustion and chaotic independence perfectly matches Cherry Pie’s life as a struggling bakery owner who claims “i am sane” while clearly spiraling. The lyrics reflect her tendency to mask deep-seated stress with humor, seen when she admits “i am sore and sad” but then immediately pivots to erratic behavior like banning couples or “telling people to 'kill themselves'” on her business account. Her complicated relationship with her former life in Blackrock and her physical ailments, like when her “joints ache and my hands are FUCKKEDD”, echo the song's themes of feeling worn down by one's own environment. Ultimately, the song captures the vibe of someone trying to keep their head above water while their “ovens shouldnt be breaking in the middle of service” and their mental health is visibly fraying.

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