
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This account most closely matches Bart Simpson: chaotic, dark-humored, attention-seeking but also insecure and struggling under the surface. Like Bart, they lean into edgy jokes and provocation, such as “Fat people be mad af 😅” and “If you don't even TRY to make someone feel better and excuse yourself by saying you're 'just not good at comforting people', you need to be hung”, which echo Bart’s abrasive, provocative side. At the same time, they show a craving for validation and being liked — “I wanna be admired and loved!!” and “Whenever I text anyone first, I feel like I'm forcing them to talk to me” — much like Bart’s need for attention beneath his prankster persona. Their impulsive, self-destructive behavior, including glorifying not eating (“I HAVEN'T EATEN THIS MONTH #LOCKEDIN”) and self-harm themed SFX, fits Bart’s pattern of acting out in extreme ways when distressed. Overall, they combine dark irreverence, rebelliousness, and deep emotional turmoil in a way that strongly parallels a more modern, online, and much more extreme version of Bart.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: they often feel overlooked and uncomfortable initiating contact, e.g. “Whenever I text anyone first, I feel like I'm forcing them to talk to me and they're only replying out of courtesy 🥹” and “Either I'm shadowbanned or everyone hates me”, and they crave a few close connections rather than broad socializing, as in “I like it when my oomfs are oomfs”. They seem more Intuitive than Sensing: alongside body/food details, they often drift into big-picture or hypothetical thinking like “What if everyone in the world just quits their job” and philosophical self-reflection such as “I feel like I'm never actually here and the world happens so f as t”. Their tone is strongly Feeling: they prioritize emotional experience and interpersonal morality, for example “If you don't even TRY to make someone feel better and excuse yourself by saying you're 'just not good at comforting people', you need to be hung” and “I wanna be admired and loved!!”. Finally, they appear more Perceiving than Judging: they struggle with consistency and structure, constantly oscillating between rigid plans and impulsive actions, as seen in “I NEED TO LOCK IN AND LOSE WEIGHT... HOW DO I STOP BINGING HELP” and self-aware chaos like “Sometimes, I almost reply... then I realize I'm being too much and delete the whole reply”. Taken together—internalized feelings, idealistic and abstract musings, strong emotional values, and disorganized spontaneity—INFP fits them best.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
SFX & fake-gore artist turning intrusive thoughts into practical effects. Once explained skin-rip sound design to a lunch lady. Between stars, late replies.– @CHRONICALWASTED

Your signature cocktail
The high-proof absinthe stands in for their weed-and-hangover chaos energy and altered states, echoing posts like “I smoke weed now # lungdamage” and “Haven't had weed in 3 days. Appetite gone. This ed shit easy”. Blackberry liqueur adds a dark sweetness for their affectionate side toward oomfs, as in “Good morning my dear chronicals” and “I love all of my oomfs and moots mwwwah”. Fresh lemon juice brings a sharp, biting sour that matches their blunt, sometimes cruel humor in tweets like “Fat people be mad af 😅” and “If you don't even TRY to make someone feel better ... you need to be hung”. The activated charcoal syrup makes it pitch-black and dramatic, nodding to gore/SFX and SH aesthetics such as “Holy shit I have a lot of blades” and “Everyone hates the sound of skin ripping when they cut, but I looove it...”. Finally, a red chili tincture or hot sauce slash on top represents both the self-destructive burn and the ED ‘lock in’ intensity behind posts like “I NEED TO LOCK IN AND LOSE WEIGHT ... HELP I NEED HELP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭” and “Chronic is at his lw again! BMI 17.1 👍”, making the drink strong, a little dangerous, and weirdly addictive.

Your Hogwarts House
Their timeline shows a strong mix of ambition, competitiveness, and self-focused drive that aligns closest with Slytherin. They celebrate hitting a low weight with clear pride and framing it as an achievement, e.g. “Chronic is at his lw again! BMI 17.1 👍” and “I NEED TO LOCK IN AND LOSE WEIGHT IT ACTUALLY ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE HOW DO I STOP BINGING HELP I NEED HELP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭”, which shows a ruthless commitment to their goals even when it harms them. There’s also a sharp, sometimes cruel edge in posts like “Fat people be mad af 😅” and “If you don't even TRY to make someone feel better and excuse yourself by saying you're 'just not good at comforting people', you need to be hung”, suggesting a harsh, absolutist sense of standards rather than gentle Hufflepuff compassion. They’re socially strategic and status-aware on their niche side of Twitter, as seen in “Asking to be mutuals under a shed post is so funny like awww I'm glad I'm sick enough to be your friend” and “Got posted on my first gore page (that I know of) !!”, which reflects pride in clout within their community. While they show some intellect and dark humor, such as “Genuinley, why is this a universal thing?? It happens to EVERYONE”, the dominant throughline is ambitious self-transformation, intensity, and a willingness to embrace extreme methods—hallmarks of Slytherin more than any other house.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑suited song for them is Teen Idle by MARINA, which captures a mix of self-destructive glamour, dark humor, and teenage alienation that echoes throughout their posts. They openly romanticize harm and frailty, posting things like “Small and pathetic bean SFX cut before school 🧵 [UNCENSORED]” and “I'm glad I have a pretty ribcage. It would suck to do all this work just to have weird bones”, similar to the song’s fixation on beauty, damage, and death. Their eating disorder struggles and pride in restriction, such as “I HAVEN'T EATEN THIS MONTH #LOCKEDIN” and “I omaded instead of liquid fasting eugh I feel big”, mirror the song’s themes of self-punishment and chasing an idealized, unhealthy version of oneself. They also show numbness and detachment from reality in tweets like “I feel like I'm never actually here and the world happens so f as t”, which fits the dissociative, melancholic tone of the track. Even their dark, ironic sense of community—like “Asking to be mutuals under a shed post is so funny like awww I'm glad I'm sick enough to be your friend”—resonates with the song’s critique of messed‑up teenage ideals and wanting to be seen, even in one’s worst habits.

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CHRONICALWASTED
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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