clumpybeans
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate: Posts numerous all‑caps, emoji‑filled updates about MLB, Blackhawks, and specific players, such as wings have won every single game i’ve been to this season btw and constant team hashtags.
- Loyal: Repeatedly declares allegiance to Reese McGuire and Detroit teams, labeling themselves supreme ruler of reese mcguire fc and using #repdetroit.
- Humorous: Creates absurd meme‑style jokes and wordplay, for example i am LARGE i contain MULTITUDES and THANK FUCIJG FINALLY OH BY FIBS.
- Expressive: Openly shares personal emotions, from heartbreak my girl 💔 to mental‑health moments like went on a walk and called my parents so i didn’t kill myself.
- Engaged: Frequently quotes and replies to other users, participates in fan events such as cubscon bingo, and tags sports accounts like @cubs hey girl what’s going on.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: Uses caps lock and profanity in sudden outbursts, e.g., I AM DUMB AS FUCK!!!!!! WE ALL GOTTA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
- Aggressive: Makes violent statements like nuke green bay and we gotta kill this guy.
- Self-Deprecating: Frequently belittles self, saying I AM DUMB AS FUCK and i am ashamed of myself.
- Oversharing: Posts intimate family details and personal struggles, such as my friends mom is fucked up and evil but at least that means she might be moving in with me over winter break.
- Volatile: Alternates between extreme excitement like LETS FUCKING GOOOO and dark humor about suicide such as yeah we all gotta kill ourselves.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson is the perfect match because both are rebellious, constantly using profanity and hyperbolic threats (e.g., 'nuke green bay' and 'I AM DUMB AS FUCK!!!!!! WE ALL GOTTA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!'), obsessed with sports (the user's tweet 'just saw my best friend for the first time in months, she asked for life updates and i started talking about mlb free agents and trades…' mirrors Bart’s love for baseball), and display a childlike, chaotic energy (e.g., 'two pb+js and a tall glass of apple juice for lunch, i am now 4 years old'). Both are known for impulsive humor and meme‑savvy references (like 'I am the woker and i LOVE saying happy holidays') and frequent self‑deprecating jokes (e.g., 'I am LARGE i contain MULTITUDES'). Their blend of mischief, sports enthusiasm, and over‑the‑top emotional outbursts aligns perfectly with Bart’s persona.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They display strong extraversion by constantly sharing lively updates and shouting excitement, e.g., "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO..." and tagging friends. Their language is imaginative and future‑oriented, often making abstract jokes and pop‑culture references like "watched this purely to make a Reese McGuire joke but wow that was incredible" indicating an Intuitive (N) preference. They make decisions based on personal feelings and values, evident in emotional posts such as "i’ll miss you always gay boy" and "my girl 💔". Their lifestyle appears spontaneous and flexible, with impulsive remarks like "maybe get weird about kyle finnegan next year idk yet" and "i have something to say" suggesting a Perceiving (P) orientation. Combining E, N, F, and P leads to the ENFP type.
Some pickup lines for you
- Supreme ruler of Reese McGuire FC, want to draft a new teammate? I'm ready to sign a contract that includes unlimited baseball‑card trades, extra innings of cuddles, and a 1.000 batting average in making you smile.
- I saw the Blackhawks are 'locking tf' and embarrassing you in front of your Michigan family—how about we lock in a date and I’ll be the only thing that makes you feel like you’ve won the Stanley Cup?
- You’ve been collecting baseball cards like a pro; how about you add a limited‑edition ‘Lauren & Me’ rookie to your binder—signed, sealed, and guaranteed to be a Hall‑of‑Fame love story?
- Your Black Friday hustle and Batman memorabilia collection scream ‘hero’—let’s be a dynamic duo: you bring the capes, I bring the popcorn, and together we’ll save the checkout line (and maybe each other’s hearts).
- From the Cubs yaoi factory group chat to being a Cubs legend, you’ve got the ultimate fan vibe—let’s write our own legend where we binge Cubs games, trade jokes, and maybe even get a cameo in the next sports‑movie marathon.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Midwest sports junkie, baseball card collector, meme curator. Once tried to trade a chicken for a Reese McGuire card.– @clumpybeans
Your signature cocktail
Midwest Mayhem Mixer
This cocktail fuses the bold bite of Midwest rye whiskey with sweet cherry liqueur, a nod to the Cubs love echoed in the tweet 'my girl 💔'. A splash of Coke Zero captures the meme‑savvy reference to 'got a coke zero and impossible whopper and the guy at the drive thru said “here’s your synthetic coke and fake burger”' while maple syrup adds a drizzle of Michigan home‑grown flavor, honoring the #repdetroit pride. A dash of hot sauce delivers the fiery, unapologetic edge of lines like 'I AM DUMB AS FUCK!!!!!! WE ALL GOTTA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!' and the chaotic energy of '5 hours of hockey fights loaded up on my tv, it’s gonna be a good night'. Together, the mix mirrors the roller‑coaster vibe of their timeline, where sports, memes, and raw emotion collide in a perfect, chaotic swirl.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The user frequently displays ambition and a desire for status, calling themselves the "supreme ruler of reese mcguire fc" and bragging "I am LARGE i contain MULTITUDES". Their tweets often seek recognition, such as "YES i was the first like of reese’s reel" and the repeated pursuit of being first or prominent. They also show a willingness to use ruthless language, e.g., "you should lowkey just kill yourself 🤣🤣🤣" and "keep fucking my girl bro i don’t even care anymore", reflecting the cunning and self‑preserving traits of Slytherin. While they occasionally show loyalty to friends and teams, the dominant pattern is ambition, power‑seeking, and a lack of moral restraint, aligning most closely with Slytherin values.
Your movie
Your song
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
The user’s bio and tweets show an intense, combative sports‑obsessed personality, constantly hyping up games and fights, as seen in "5 hours of hockey fights loaded up on my tv, it’s gonna be a good night". They repeatedly proclaim themselves a "supreme ruler" and use hyperbolic self‑descriptions like "I am LARGE i contain MULTITUDES" and "I AM DUMB AS FUCK!!!!!! WE ALL GOTTA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!", reflecting a fierce, survival‑themed mindset. Their exuberant rallying cries such as "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIOIOIIIIIOOO 🇺🇸🇺🇸..." echo the pounding beat and chant‑like refrain of a classic fight anthem. The repeated references to the Detroit Tigers, for example "my stupid idiot backup catcher fuckkkkkk" and their #repdetroit tag, link directly to the "tiger" motif of the song. All of these elements – relentless drive, fighting spirit, and tiger imagery – make Survivor’s "Eye of the Tiger" the perfect match.
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