Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Radical Honesty: Openly shares personal details like being “a short ass twig man” and his “44kg” weight.
- Career Driven: Shows personal responsibility and pride in being “employed” despite disliking the “work” commute.
- Socially Proactive: Actively seeks out “interactive moots” and values making “friends with someone really cool”.
- Cultural Awareness: Defends his British identity against Americans “correcting” his spelling of words like “organise”.
- Safety Minded: Advocates for online safety by asking people “their age the second you add them”.
Weaknesses:
- Impulse Control: Admitted to spending money on “robux” instead of pre-ordering a collectible he really wanted.
- Emotional Volatility: Frequently describes himself as “full of rage”, “tweaking”, or “crashing out”.
- Combative Nature: Engages in constant discourse with “antis” and labels opponents as “uneducated”.
- Paranoia: Expresses frequent “random feelings of impending doom” and suspects mutuals of “fake” posts.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Like Bart, Elijah exhibits a rebellious, 'bad boy' persona, frequently using provocative language and engaging in online friction, such as when he says “im cracking out” or “im crashing out”. He shares Bart's dismissive attitude toward authority and social norms, particularly regarding his stance as a 'proshipper' and his frustration with those he deems “uneducated antis”. Despite his edgy exterior, he displays a typical teenage preoccupation with hobbies like Roblox and Minecraft, once reminiscing about the “Xbox 360 days”. His tendency to stir the pot while remaining a self-described “short ass twig man” mirrors Bart’s underdog status as a perpetual troublemaker who often feels “full of rage” against the world.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Elijah exhibits Introversion through his focus on solitary gaming and niche internet subcultures, specifically mentioning how he'd rather go home to “play slow damage again” than be at college. His Intuition is visible in his preoccupation with theoretical internet discourse and the “concept of being uneducated for being educated”, prioritizing abstract social dynamics over concrete reality. He leans toward Thinking by using logical deconstructions to defend his controversial stances, arguing that antis fail to accept “something completely factual” even when provided with evidence. Finally, his Perceiving trait is evident in his spontaneous, unfiltered posting style and his admission that he “doesn't gaf about labels”, suggesting a flexible and non-conforming approach to identity and social structures.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Skytube Towa figure? Because you’re way too expensive for me to miss out on a second time.
- I promise I’m not a 'capitalist dictator' like the Royale High devs—I’d never block you for stealing my heart (or 20 quid).
- I’m not a neo-nazi, but I’d definitely call you a 44kg twig man just so I can hear you correct me with that 'actually' again.
- If we were playing Minecraft on the Xbox 360, I’d spend all my time putting up signs just to tell you how much I like your vibes.
- Are you British? Because you’ve got me 'fantasising' with an 's' about being the woman who finally comes to pick you up.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
British BL enthusiast and Slow Damage fan. Once had a waitress hit on me, but I'd rather be home playing Roblox or building Minecraft houses. 17 | He/Him | Bi– @coatgyy
Your signature cocktail
The 44kg Cist-Man Spritz
This experimental cocktail reflects a 'short ass twig man' who is “44kg ACTUALLY”. Base-layered with British Gin to honor his heritage despite not wanting to “look like a reform voter”, the drink turns a defiant neon blue to match his 'Slow Damage' obsession. It features a heavy splash of bitter lemon for his constant 'proship vs. anti' discourse, as he admits “im full of rage” and “im crashing out” over online drama. Finally, it’s served over crushed ice to represent his frequent “random feelings of impending doom”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Elijah exhibits a strong sense of self-preservation and resourcefulness, particularly in how he navigates social hierarchies and online conflict. He prioritizes his own identity and comfort, such as when he discusses the social risks of his nationality, noting that putting his “country flag on my profile” might lead to unwanted political associations. His cunning is evident in his critical analysis of social performance, where he calls out those who use “fake strawpage gimmicks” for attention or interactions. Furthermore, his ambition is colored by a blunt realism regarding social dynamics, exemplified by his frustration with others' “fake” behavior and his focus on his own niche interests despite external criticism. Ultimately, his willingness to be “problematic” and his rejection of conventional moral labels align him with the ambitious and self-interested nature of Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
The Village - Wrabel
This song resonates with @coatgyy's experience as a transmasculine individual navigating a world that often tries to dictate his identity, as seen when he says, “im unironically call myself a c1s man while having a cunt i do not gaf about labels 😭😭”. The lyrics about feeling like a misfit align with his constant friction with 'antis' and online subcultures, exemplified by his frustration: “when are you guys going to give up on dictating other people's sexualities”. Furthermore, the song’s themes of isolation and defiance mirror his stance on being a proshipper in a hostile environment, where he tells others, “if you don't like proshippers just block me, I am sick and tired of seeing uneducated antis on my tl”. Ultimately, The Village captures the essence of a young man asserting his existence despite social pushback and the “random feelings of impending doom” he occasionally faces.
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