Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Geopolitical Literacy: Demonstrates a deep interest in global affairs, from Middle Eastern nationalist movements to Japanese domestic politics.
- Historical Knowledge: Analyzes modern events through a historical lens, such as comparing Trump's Greenland obsession to the Gadsden Purchase.
- Pragmatic Realism: Values competent administration and technocratic governance over abstract political theory.
- Analytical Skepticism: Questions popular narratives, such as the validity of claims within the Epstein files or the impact of social spending on birth rates.
- Ideological Independence: Willing to criticize his own side, specifically calling out Trump's incompetence and protectionist tariffs.
Weaknesses:
- Inflammatory Rhetoric: Uses aggressive language and slurs, stating “I hate this fag so fucking much” regarding a public figure.
- Elitist Bias: Suggests that “educated people only” should be allowed to vote in primaries to exclude certain political outcomes.
- Abrasive Communication: Uses dehumanizing terms like “Goy Cattle” and “apes” when describing groups he disagrees with.
- Violent Posturing: Jokes about shooting protesters and stalking a politician’s house.
- Generalizing Tendencies: Makes broad, disparaging generalizations about groups, such as his comment on Pakistanis in Britain.
Your Simpsons character
Reverend Lovejoy
Like the often cynical Timothy Lovejoy, @ConanPhase combines a staunch Protestant religious identity with a weary, judgmental view of modern social shifts and competing denominations. The user’s bio explicitly champions a “Christian Lord” against “Roman popery,” matching the Reverend’s occasional disdain for other faiths. They advocate for a “theocracy, but it’s a mainline Protestant one” and express a hardening stance against progressivism, noting they have “become a lot more right wing on LGBT issues.” Ultimately, their vision of a “highly Conservative Christian society” run by “technocratic” pragmatism mirrors Lovejoy’s position as a traditionalist authority figure navigating a world he often finds “boring” or irritating.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
ConanPhase exhibits an Introverted (I) and Intuitive (N) preference by focusing on solitary intellectual pursuits like historical strategy games and abstract geopolitical theories rather than social interaction. Their Thinking (T) nature is evident in their blunt, often provocative analysis of demographics and policy, such as when they claim “Pro Life and pro death penalty is still more morally consistent then Pro Choice and anti death penalty.” They prioritize logical consistency and systemic efficiency over emotional appeal, frequently criticizing what they perceive as incompetence. A Judging (J) orientation is seen in their desire for a “pragmatic government that deals mostly with with the technocratic aspect of governance” and their habit of making firm, long-term predictions about global affairs. This combination results in a personality that values “the competent administrator how builds his ideology out of pragmatism” over theoretical or populist movements.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the Civilization V AI? Because despite your hatred for Ethiopia, you’ve managed to establish a 'One True State' right in my heart.
- Forget the Hudson Bay Company—I’d happily negotiate some 'border gore' if it meant our maps finally overlapped.
- They say 1/3rd of the Super Bowl audience is foreign, but I promise my interest in you is 100% domestic and high-viewership.
- Is your name Marco Rubio? Because you look like a competent administrator who could handle the pragmatism of our first date with total expertise.
- I’m not a Social Welfare program, but I have a theory that if we spend enough time together, our 'TFR'—Total Flirtation Rate—is going to hit an all-time high.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Passionate about Bronze Age history, CIV V, and global geopolitics. Once donated to AIPAC just for the bit. Aspiring to build a technocratic Christian society.– @ConanPhase
Your signature cocktail
The Technocratic Theocrat
This drink perfectly balances a "highly Conservative Christian society" with a sharp, "technocratic aspect of governance". The Slivovitz honors his interest in Central Asian and Jewish history, while the heavy dose of bitters reflects his unfiltered annoyance with "boring" Zoomer culture and the "rotting corpse" of modern Dem obsession. It is a strong, uncompromising pour for someone who would rather be a "Don Bacon not a Thomas Massie". Finally, the gold garnish celebrates the "one true state" of the Old Kingdom, ensuring the cocktail remains as elite as a primary "restricted to educated people only."
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
ConanPhase exhibits a Ravenclaw’s signature love for history, niche geopolitics, and analytical deconstruction of complex systems. He displays a penchant for historical trivia, noting that “of the 3 major Europeans cities I have had a significant amount of time is (Budapest, Paris, and London) all 3 of them have a statue of George Washington I have seen”, and values intellectualism over raw dogma. He prioritizes a “pragmatic government that deals mostly with with the technocratic aspect of governance” and frequently critiques political strategies through a lens of academic theory, such as comparing “Rubio vs Vance” as a battle between administrative pragmatism and a “Theory Fag.” Ultimately, his constant engagement with Civ V, demographic statistics, and historical parallels reveals an obsessive, knowledge-seeking mind characteristic of the Rowena Ravenclaw's house.
Your movie
Your song
God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
This song reflects @ConanPhase's fusion of intense Christian traditionalism and a hawkish, uncompromising approach to global politics. Their bio's quote—“Then may the Christian Lord guide my hand against your Roman popery!”—alongside their vision for a “highly Conservative Christian society” aligns with the track's themes of divine judgment and moral steadfastness. The song’s rhythmic, march-like energy matches their interest in military history and assertive foreign policy, such as when they express a desire to “Kill the bustards” in political messaging. Ultimately, the lyrics mirror their preference for a “pragmatic government” that operates under a stern, religious moral framework.
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