
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lisa fits best because Connie is intellectually driven, civically engaged, and often thinking about ethics and systems, much like Lisa’s role in the show. As TechCrunch’s EIC and StrictlyVC’s founder, she’s constantly analyzing power structures in tech and finance, calling out issues like Wells Fargo in “so much corruption, and w these indictments, no one is paying attention” and worrying about press and democratic norms in tweets like “Stelter: Press freedom is your freedom @CNN”. Like Lisa, she’s principled and outspoken in politics and media, urging people in power to do the right thing as in “.@presssec get out while you can. you're in over your head.” and “i wish all the former presidents would just rise up and walk out.”. She also mixes earnest seriousness with self-aware humor—joking about tripping in the rain in “if you were just at a busy intersection in sf and saw a woman trip in her rain boots and fall flat on the ground before springing up and waving to you like nbd, that was maybe me.” and her "super recognizer" skills in “12 out of 14, booyah! (it's very uncool, tbh. i have to refrain from asking qs like, 'didn't we meet once in 2003?'”. Finally, her cultural curiosity and delight in learning—whether about cloud kitchens, SoftBank, or drone racing in “love this. inside the world of pro drone racing:”—mirror Lisa’s inquisitive, research-driven personality.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extrovert (E): they frequently reference and enthusiastically attend social/professional gatherings and public-facing roles, like celebrating events they host or co-host (“thank you again for hosting! very fun night. was not expecting the kaorake wind down.:)” and “pics! thank you for a great night @realrealjulie...”), openly share personal moments (“if you were just at a busy intersection in sf and saw a woman trip... that was maybe me.”) and thrive in collaborative media work as EIC and podcaster. They favor Intuition (N) over pure Sensing: while she reports concrete news, her commentary often zeroes in on patterns and implications, e.g. “trend alert: while firms like ggv go earlier stage in china, chinese investors are going earlier stage in the u.s.” and concerns about structural media shifts like “whoa. if fox news concerns you, watch what's quietly happening to local news channels.”. Her style suggests Feeling (F) over Thinking: she often highlights people and values, expressing warmth and gratitude (“honored! amazing company to be in.”), moral concern (“so much corruption, and w these indictments, no one is paying attention”), and relational enthusiasm (“!! i phoned julie on my very first day as eic and i'm so pumped to call her a colleague at long last.”). She is clearly Judging (J): she talks about priorities and deliberate hiring as EIC (“Since becoming TechCrunch's EIC, my top priority has been to hire people who can make our exceptional staff even stronger.”), organizes events and series (“don’t worry; you can still read strictlyvc, as well as techcrunch. we’ll let you in.:)”), and shows a structured, follow-through mindset in her work. Taken together—outwardly engaged, pattern-aware, people- and values-focused, and organized—ENFJ fits her online persona best.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Editor in chief @TechCrunch & founder StrictlyVC. Covers VC, startups, SoftBank drama. Once tripped in SF rain boots, got up like it was a board meeting.– @Cookie

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is a caffeinated, slightly bitter spritz for someone who’s both gm and editor in chief, @techcrunch; founder @strictlyvc and a self-described panini press enthusiast, blending newsroom grind with kitchen-play. The espresso-infused gin channels the sharp focus and late nights behind pieces like “Social Capital is now investing in startups sight unseen.” and “The SEC gets its long awaited open and shut case in Silicon Valley. Probably.”. The amaro with orange peel brings a complex, slightly cynical note that fits tweets like “so much corruption, and w these indictments, no one is paying attention” and “i'm trying to remain optimistic, but this is bananas.”. A cold brew reduction nods to her high-energy, slightly wired vibe in posts like “on an EFFING CLOUD. GO CAVS!!” and the rain-boot pratfall of “that was maybe me.”. The sparkling wine topper captures the celebratory, community side of her work—“Thank you, thank you, @semil @lightspeedvp and everyone who came out. Very nice way to end the day.:)” and “pics! thank you for a great night…”. Finally, the charred lemon peel garnish adds a bright-but-burnt edge, reflecting her willingness to call things as she sees them in zingers like “.@presssec get out while you can. you're in over your head.” and the deadpan of “good thing people like working at uber. they can’t go anywhere.”.

Your Hogwarts House
Connie’s tweets show a strong pattern of intellectual curiosity and analytical thinking, which are core Ravenclaw traits. She is constantly digging into the why behind news, praising deep explanatory work like a DDoS overview in security (“want to better understand what happened friday? here's a great overview of what ddos protection providers face”) and highlighting nuanced regulatory stories such as the SEC’s role in Silicon Valley (“The SEC gets its long awaited open and shut case in Silicon Valley. Probably.”). She also clearly enjoys learning from complex interviews and industry dynamics, noting how much she learned from conversations like the Wish/e‑commerce/China discussion (“i learned a TON from this interview, about wish, but also about e commerce and doing business in china.”) and dissecting SoftBank’s strategy (““Of the 10 or so deals that are being reported in media, a majority of these will not come through.””). Her bio and feed emphasize editorial craft, thoughtful hiring, and strengthening teams intellectually (“Since becoming TechCrunch's EIC, my top priority has been to hire people who can make our exceptional staff even stronger.”), which reflects a value system centered on expertise and insight. Even her lighter posts often have a wry, observant wit about media, finance, and tech culture (“nothing against these (nice) hbs profs or stanford profs who do the same, but are these policies fair to students?”), reinforcing Ravenclaw’s mix of humor and intellect more than the defining traits of the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for Connie Loizos is “Run the World (Girls)” because she’s a high-profile leader in tech media who clearly thrives on amplifying strong voices and holding power to account. As gm and editor in chief of TechCrunch and founder of StrictlyVC, her bio shows she’s running multiple ambitious projects at once while still having fun, from being a “panini press enthusiast” to podcasting. She regularly boosts other women’s and colleagues’ achievements, like when she celebrated joining forces with Julie—“!! i phoned julie on my very first day as eic and i'm so pumped to call her a colleague at long last.” and highlighted big moves such as “Big deal. Congrats @sarahtavel”. Her feed also shows a willingness to call out power and corruption, aligning with the song’s assertive, unapologetic energy, as in “so much corruption, and w these indictments, no one is paying attention” and “.@presssec get out while you can. you're in over your head.”. Even when recounting a stranger’s backhanded compliment—“Someone just stopped me on the street to say, ‘You run like a man.’ [Pause.] ‘That is good!’”—she frames it with humor and resilience, reinforcing the confident, world-running tone of the song.

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