
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user is most similar to Lisa Simpson: politically intense, morally rigid, and often furious that everyone else seems apathetic or stupid. Like Lisa, they have strong leftist, anti-authoritarian views and absolutely no patriotism, shown in posts like "I HAVE NO PATRIOTISM THE U.S IS DOGSHIT AND I WANT OUUUUTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "I HATE THIS COUTNRY I HATE THE FOVERNMENT I HATE ALL GOVERNMENT WORKERS...". They’re very absolutist about ethics and identity, e.g. "terfs dont deserve respect" and "some of you guys forget people's respect is not a right and if you disrespect them or their identity then they most likely wont respect you or yours", which mirrors Lisa’s rigid moral code and readiness to cut people off. Their frustration that others don’t do enough—like "marching doesn't do anything and apparently the 'firebomb a walmart' gang is too pussy to actually go wreck a bunch of shit so i guess we're all fucked!"—feels like an edgier, grown‑up Lisa ranting about how nobody cares enough to change the world. At the same time, they’re deeply emotional and obsessive about niche media and characters, similar to Lisa’s intense fixations, as seen in posts like "I NEED YO WATCH GACHIAKUTA EIFHT NOW HOOOOOLYYYY FUUUCK" and their over-the-top reactions to cute art and characters. Overall, it’s Lisa Simpson if she grew up extremely online, more vulgar, and absolutely feral about politics and fandom.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: they constantly engage with discourse, directly address mutuals, and perform for an audience with bits like “rolls over and exposes my belly to you as u scroll” and “do you ever get bored and start yelling at your mutuals in french or is that just me”, suggesting energy from interaction and visibility rather than privacy. Their style is strongly Intuitive: they focus on big-picture social issues and abstract takes, e.g. “marching doesn't do anything and apparently the 'firebomb a walmart' gang is too pussy to actually go wreck a bunch of shit so i guess we're all fucked!” and generalized judgments like “all republican men are incels with a red cap to make them seem different”, rather than concrete sensory detail. They are clearly Feeling-driven: their arguments are rooted in moral outrage and personal values, such as “terfs dont deserve respect” and “if you ever voted for trump 2016 or now i genuinely honestly do not think you deserve life”, prioritizing ethical stance and emotional reaction over detached logic. Their communication is blunt and fiery, showing a passionate value system, as seen in “you are not owed respect if you do not give respect” and critiques of fetishization like “all you people care about when it comes to trans people is your sick fetishes and you label your objectification as allyship”. Finally, they read as more Perceiving than Judging: their timeline is spontaneous, chaotic, and reactive—jumping from politics to fandom to personal jokes (e.g. “i keep getting mpreg reacted so ive started roleplaying a pregnancy fetish” and “i be reposting edits of shit i have not a scrap of knowledge on just cause it looks cool”)—which fits the improvisational, high-energy ENFP style rather than a structured, plan-oriented J type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Californian chronically online bird enjoyer. Leftist rant machine, Homestuck cosplayer in a past life, currently yelling about games & bad politics.– @corrucystic

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is loud, fast, and a little unhinged—like getting @-ed by someone screaming “I HATE THIS COUTNRY I HATE THE FOVERNMENT…” and then pivoting to bird retweets two minutes later. The silver tequila shot with a flaming cinnamon rim is their willingness to go for the throat, from “if you ever voted for trump… i genuinely honestly do not think you deserve life” to “terfs dont deserve respect”. The grapefruit–jalapeño soda is sharp, fruity queer rage: sour-sweet but burning, like “some of you guys forget people's respect is not a right”. A splash of black coffee concentrate keeps it jaded and exhausted, matching “im too far left and mean for politics” and the constant political burnout. The dash of smoked salt is for the scorched-earth snark of “are you slow. did you get dropped on your head as a child”. Finally, the cotton candy cloud stirred in at the end represents their unexpectedly soft, feral affection—going from “keep beeping fagbot we all know you like nuts” to sobbing over cute characters in “I A,M GENUIENLY CRYING THEYRE ALLSO CUTE OH MY GOD”, and, of course, the surreal whimsy of a bio that starts with “The oar fish is the longest Normal girl”.

Your Hogwarts House
Their tweets center heavily on intensity, self‑preservation, and a ruthless us‑vs‑them mindset that fits Slytherin. They openly endorse extreme, retaliatory thinking like “if you ever voted for trump 2016 or now i genuinely honestly do not think you deserve life… i hope the shame is enough to drive you off a cliff” and “marching doesn't do anything and apparently the 'firebomb a walmart' gang is too pussy to actually go wreck a bunch of shit so i guess we're all fucked!”, which shows a readiness to embrace drastic means rather than patient idealism. They repeatedly emphasize selective association and blocking as a survival strategy, e.g. their bio “i block very freely” and strict rules like “NEW ACCOUNT RULES… Larval: minors dni… Kiv: SUPER dni… Golem: Hi”, reflecting strong boundary‑setting and in‑group curation. Their political and social posts are less about fairness for everyone and more about defending their side viciously, such as “terfs dont deserve respect” and “you are not owed respect if you do not give respect”, a very conditional, Slytherin-style ethic. While they have flashes of humor and creativity, the dominant pattern is sharp, confrontational self‑protection and a willingness to go further than others, which aligns most strongly with Slytherin rather than Gryffindor’s idealism or Hufflepuff’s gentleness.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑suited song is “kill v. maim” by Grimes, which channels chaotic, aggressive energy with a playful, gender-bendy edge that matches their tone. They oscillate between unhinged affection and brutality, like going from “SON I LOVE YOU. SON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” to “if you ever voted for trump 2016 or now i genuinely honestly do not think you deserve life. you are subhuman… i hope the shame is enough to drive you off a cliff”. The song’s gleeful violence fits lines such as “marching doesn't do anything and apparently the 'firebomb a walmart' gang is too pussy to actually go wreck a bunch of shit” and “I HATE THIS COUTNRY I HATE THE FOVERNMENT… GET ME OUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTT”. At the same time, the track’s queer, fluid persona matches their mix of gendered jokes and trans commentary like “all you people care about when it comes to trans people is your sick fetishes” and the bio “he she ⭕ ic.” Overall, kill v. maim captures their combination of political rage, black humor, and hyperactive fandom energy (e.g., “I NEED YO WATCH GACHIAKUTA EIFHT NOW HOOOOOLYYYY FUUUCK”).

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corrucystic
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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