cosmicnoodle
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In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares deep feelings about depression and emptiness, like “I’m so fucking empty” and “Don’t think there’s a single night nowadays thinking about how I wanna just off myself”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on inner state and patterns, e.g. “my life so far as been running away from my problems” and “Maybe I am just a selfish person I do things but only for myself”.
- Darkly humorous: Uses humor to cope with pain, such as “nothing a little hentai and crying won’t fix” and absurd lines like “my existence is nothing i offer my being to the almighty cumlord”.
- Empathetic thinker: Shows concern about others’ struggles, e.g. pondering a friend’s suicide in “I wonder what drove Nicole to take her own life… is it just not enough” and worrying “I don’t know what’s going on with my friend tbh and I’m very anxious”.
- Idealistic caring: Expresses hope to be a better, nurturing parent in “I want to become a better parent then my mom and dad… raise a beautiful baby girl to become strong, resilient, wise, and cute.” and affection toward their dad in “dad idk if you’re out there… I want to let you know that I love you”.
Weaknesses:
- Severe self-loathing: Frequently expresses hatred toward self, like “Man I think I genuinely hate myself” and “In truth I am drowning in my own disappointment”.
- Suicidal ideation: Repeated explicit thoughts of self-harm, such as “What’s to stop me from shooting myself in the workplace”, “Might just down 500 grams of warfarin and jump into a wood chipper lol”, and “I’m ready to go There’s little to nothing left for me”.
- Explosive hostility: Uses intense, aggressive language toward others, e.g. “Fucking hate them all go die in a ditch you old dusty cunt” and “if they wanna hang black people we can start by burning white people on their crosses”.
- Interpersonal avoidance: Regularly withdraws from others and relationships, as in “Either way, I’m ready to just be alone and cut ties” and “I’ve resolved to be fine alone but I never accounted for the fact that loneliness brings sadness”.
- Family resentment: Harbors intense anger toward mother and family, shown in “Fucking hate my mom”, “every time i talk to my mom it’s always god this god that I’m like god I just want to die”, and “I think I realize why I just avoid family at all”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially a darker, more depressed version of her. Like Lisa, they are intensely introspective and feel alienated from family, particularly a religious parent, as seen in “every time i talk to my mom it’s always god this god that I’m like god I just want to die every word from you pisses me off and reminds me of how little control I ultimately have in my life” and “I wish I had another mom really Another mom who wasn’t a Christian fanatic and instead encouraged me and was proud of what I want to do”. They show political and ethical intensity similar to Lisa’s activism, with tweets like “the only good nazi is a dead nazi” and “Lord give me the power of fire and flight to go over the neo nazis and put their blood into the soil and bones into ashes”. Their recurring loneliness, self-loathing, and desire for deeper connection echo Lisa’s melancholy side, as in “This is the part where I say that I wanna die There’s nowhere to go except forward But I don’t know where forward is” and “Sleeping alone can be agonizing sometimes Like damn, there ain’t no one out there that loves you for who you are”. Even their occasional hopeful or idealistic moments, such as wanting to grow as a person or be a better parent, resemble Lisa’s underlying idealism beneath the depression and anger.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as strongly introverted: they repeatedly prefer isolation and feel out of place in social settings, e.g. “I think I realize why I just avoid family at all I see how mentally different I am from them and just how fucking damn tired I am” and “I know I’ve resolved to be fine alone but I never accounted for the fact that loneliness brings sadness”. Their focus is predominantly intuitive, circling around meaning, identity, and existential questions rather than concrete facts: “and at the end of it, I think what I’ve realized is that I’ve lost the ability to empathetically connect” and “I mean why am I even getting this sudden suicidal urge i think it’s more nihilistic than anything” show abstract self-analysis and big-picture thinking. They are deeply feeling-oriented: they judge people and politics through moral/emotional lenses, e.g. “the only good nazi is a dead nazi” and “I want someone to which I can expose my feelings to but at the same time I just so full of shame and vulnerability”, and describe themselves as rotten, empty, or unlovable in a very affective way. Their lifestyle looks more perceiving than judging: they emphasize feeling lost and drifting (“There’s nowhere to go except forward But I don’t know where forward is”), struggling to act or plan, and making spontaneous, chaotic jokes like “whatever I’ll just cum in this cat and yeet myself with gasoline”. The mix of intense inner emotion, existential rumination, idealism (anti-Nazi/anti-racist, wanting to be a better parent), and self-loathing combined with withdrawal from others fits best with INFP rather than more structured NF types like INFJ or more externally assertive types.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said romance anime makes you smile—if we watch one together, I promise to be the dork who passes you snacks and pretends not to notice when you hide your tears behind that ‘fuck around and find out’ persona.
- You once tweeted that you’re ‘only 20’ and have better things to worry about, like your dream—wanna stress less about wasted potential and more about whether we get a cat or a PS4 game night first?
- You wondering how anyone loves, hating family events, and wanting to stay in bed forever is kinda relatable… if you ever want someone to just lie there, share headphones, and let you feel a little less alone, I’d volunteer as tribute.
- You upgraded from ‘seasonal depression really hitting’ to ‘I hate myself’—how about we patch that with seasonal affection: I bring you ramen that doesn’t erase the past, just makes the present suck a little less.
- You keep dreaming of that blonde girl who protects you with guns in her hair—plot twist: I can’t dual‑wield rifles, but I CAN wield bad jokes, emotional support, and a hell of a stir‑fry if you let me into that dream a bit.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Anime, cats & cursed jokes. Once bought a PS4 against my better judgment and never regretted it. Trying to grow, vent less, and create more.– @cosmicnoodle
Your signature cocktail
The Fuck Around & Find Out Fizz
Overproof dark rum stands in for the raw, volatile intensity of wanting to "Fuck what you think and fuck your beliefs" and posting things like "Might just down 500 grams of warfarin and jump into a wood chipper lol." Black coffee cold brew mirrors the exhaustion and insomnia of "I wish I could stay in bed forever" and "im so tired im in a state i want to die but im too tired to die." Grapefruit juice brings a sharp bitterness with a bright edge, like the mix of nihilism and humor in "I mean why am I even getting this sudden suicidal urge i think it’s more nihilistic than anything." Cherry liqueur adds a small, sweet, romantic ache for connection in posts like "Sleeping alone can be agonizing sometimes" and "Damn just kinda wanna hire a prostitute do they can just hold me in their arms and give me a good nights sleep." Finally, activated charcoal & soda water give it an inky, swirling fizz, capturing the “void but still memeing” vibe of "my existence is nothing i offer my being to the almighty cumlord" and the bio-level chaos of "fuck around and find out."
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Based on their tweets.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
The dark, intrusive, self-destructive tone of Bury a Friend fits how they talk about themselves and their mind. They repeatedly express wanting to die or disappear, like “Please let me die a blissful death” and “I wish for death”, which mirrors the song’s fixation on death and being one’s own worst enemy. Their tweets show a mix of numbness, self-loathing, and exhaustion — “im so tired im in a state i want to die but im too tired to die” and “In truth I am drowning in my own disappointment” — much like the song’s haunted, exhausted narrator. Even their bio, “fuck around and find out,” and lines like “What’s to stop me from shooting myself in the workplace” capture that reckless, violent edge present in the track’s imagery. The combination of bleak humor, anger at others, and deep internal pain makes Bury a Friend a strong emotional parallel to their online persona.
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