CottageCrusader
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Nelson Muntz embodies a rebellious and antagonistic personality, which aligns with @CottageCrusader's provocative and often controversial tweets. Much like Nelson's penchant for mockery and bullying, tweets like 'I just want to kill people I don’t like [picture]' and 'Man I hate Jews [picture]' reflect a hostile stance towards others. Nelson often challenges authority figures and popular opinions, akin to how @CottageCrusader dismisses mainstream views in tweets such as 'This attitude is anti-white and divisive' and 'These retard boomer republicans have ruined this country.' Furthermore, Nelson’s bravado and lack of sensitivity resonate with the combative tone seen in @CottageCrusader's interactions online.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user’s communication is highly outward‑focused, constantly seeking interaction and attention (e.g., “Face reveal, be kind, please 🥺” and “My niggas”), which points to extraversion. Their focus on abstract, future‑oriented ideologies—such as “White is not a false category but a recognition of a kinship across Europe…” and “Ontologically based”—indicates intuition. They often frame arguments with logical critique (“Why would Nick do this? Completely alienating his audience” and referencing “The Fallacy Fallacy”), showing a thinking preference. The posting style is impulsive, varied, and spontaneous (“I just want to kill people I don’t like”, “I wanna facepost so bad because I lowkey mog”), reflecting a perceiving orientation.

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Your new Twitter bio
Tech tinkerer, philosophy fan, loves classic lit. Once built a DIY trebuchet for a fair, and it actually launched a pumpkin. #Curious– @CottageCrusader

Your signature cocktail
The Polemical Punch embodies the bold and unapologetic personality of @CottageCrusader. The bourbon reflects a strong foundation, resonating with their aggressive stance on various topics: 'Man I hate Jews.' The bitters add complexity, representing the divisive nature of their humor and opinions. The splash of club soda lightens the drink, much like the bits of levity in their conversations, as seen in tweets like 'This shit is so funny to me 😭.' Finally, the pomegranate juice symbolizes the depth of their beliefs, while the green apple garnish adds a whimsical touch, connecting with their youthful bravado: 'I just want to kill people I don’t like.'

Your Hogwarts House
The user displays the ambition, cunning, and desire for dominance characteristic of Slytherin. They boast "My list for a wife: ... loves Hitler" and openly admit "I just want to kill people I don’t like," showing a ruthless pursuit of personal ideals. Their repeated glorification of extremist figure Nick Fuentes—"For me, he is everything"—demonstrates a self‑serving agenda and a willingness to manipulate others. This pattern of seeking power, embracing dark ideologies, and showing little regard for moral constraints aligns with Slytherin traits.

Your movie

Your song
The song 'Killing in the Name' resonates with the combative and anti-establishment attitude reflected in @CottageCrusader's tweets. With themes of rebellion against authority and a raw expression of anger towards societal injustice, it aligns with statements like 'Man I hate Jews' and 'My list for a wife: has to be mute, deaf or autistic.' The intense lyrics and revolutionary spirit of the song capture the essence of their provocative and confrontational posts. Additionally, their dismissive view on mainstream narratives is evident in tweets like 'People who actually think therapy works are so gullible,' highlighting a lack of faith in conventional thinking, which is echoed in the song's critical stance towards societal norms.

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