
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like the Simpsons action star, Keegan is defined by his hyper-masculine physique and obsession with being a '6'8 ripped Aryan Chad'. He mirrors Wolfcastle’s elitist attitude toward fitness, aggressively suggesting that if 'you're not gymmaxxing I want to beat the fuck out of you'. Both individuals take immense pride in their Germanic heritage, with Keegan frequently posting about his 'Scandinavian Hunter gatherermaxxing Lifestyle' and 'Yamnaya' ancestry. Ultimately, his boastful claims of having 'Top 1% testosterone levels' align with the caricature of an over-the-top, muscle-bound strongman who views himself as a superior specimen.

Your MBTI personality Type
Keegan exhibits Extroversion through his constant pursuit of social validation and status, frequently boasting to his followers that “E girls watch me on repeat”. His Sensing trait is dominant, as he focuses entirely on physical attributes, strength metrics, and concrete lifestyles like “Scandinavian Hunter gatherermaxxing” rather than abstract philosophy. He displays a harsh Thinking preference, using blunt, exclusionary logic and derogatory labels, such as when he tells men to “gymmaxx” or face violence. Finally, his Perceiving nature is shown in his spontaneous, reactionary posting style and his preference for a “repetitive” yet thrill-seeking lifestyle involving motorcycles and raw physical competition.

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Your new Twitter bio
6'8 Orthodox Christian and strongman dedicated to heritage and heavy lifting. Once mistook a door frame for a challenge and won. Exploring the American South.– @Cowboyyamnaya

Your signature cocktail
This drink starts with a base of Kentucky Bourbon because he is a “wholesome southern man” from the “Bluegrass region,” providing a punchy, high-testosterone kick. We mix in raw milk to represent his “Scandinavian Hunter gatherermaxxing Lifestyle” and his preference for “raw milk, antioxidant rich foods and lifting heavy.” A pinch of smoked sea salt nods to his “Yamnaya aura” and ancient heritage, while a gold leaf garnish celebrates his self-proclaimed status as a “6'8 ripped Aryan Chad” with “Top 4% facial symmetry.” Served in a massive, heavy glass, it’s designed for those who believe “all White men should be Cowboy quick drawmaxxing.”

Your Hogwarts House
Cowboyyamnaya displays the classic Slytherin traits of elitism, lineage obsession, and a desire for dominance. He expresses a preoccupation with 'superior' genetics and social hierarchies, claiming “Top .01% height... Top 8% IQ... I love being an Aryan Chad” and frequently citing his KKK ancestry as a source of status. His ambition is tied to the preservation of his own group and the exclusion of others, as seen when he states he wants to “keep my timeline Aryan and perfect”. Furthermore, his focus on power dynamics is evident in his demand to “RESTORE THE PATRIARCHY”, showing a resourceful but ruthless drive to enforce his preferred social order.

Your movie

Your song
This song perfectly encapsulates Keegan’s persona as a self-described “wholesome southern man” who values physical strength and a “Scandinavian Hunter gatherermaxxing Lifestyle.” The lyrics’ focus on self-reliance and traditional masculine skills resonates with his interest in “Cowboy quick drawmaxxing” and his pride in his “Yamnaya” ancestry. Furthermore, the song’s defensive stance on heritage matches his bio's claim that “Those who came before you shaped you,” as well as his strict adherence to dating within his own race to show “self love and self respect.” Ultimately, the track mirrors his worldview of a physically dominant, rural archetype standing firm against modern liberal influence.

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Cowboyyamnaya
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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