
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Their mix of intellectual rigor, moral conviction, and occasional exasperation with others aligns most closely with Lisa Simpson. Like Lisa, they enjoy deep analysis of media and literature, seen in posts unpacking serial publication and fanfic parallels in “it is so amusing to me that dostoevsky, dickens, doyle, and so many authors published their works serially…” and their long, thoughtful threads about media literacy and fiction such as “claiming that fiction inherently normalizes behavior ignores decades of literary theory…”. They combine this analytical side with a strong ethical stance and frustration at shallow moralizing, much like Lisa calling out hypocrisy, for example in “being ‘lowkey scared’ of people because they can engage critically with fictional antagonists is not a moral high ground, it's intellectual insecurity.”. At the same time, they have a softer, earnest core in how they talk about their partner and followers, as shown in “i'm glad to hear this… it means a lot to know they can feel like a safe space or a bit of sanity in all the chaos for you.”, which parallels Lisa’s caring, idealistic side. Their goth horror aesthetic and sharp tongue give them a darker edge than Lisa, but the core traits—bookish, principled, articulate, and often feeling intellectually out of step with the crowd—fit Lisa best.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as an Introvert (I): their enjoyment centers on solitary or one-on-one activities like reading and games rather than big social scenes, and even their partner-related posts feel intimate and self-contained, e.g. “i've been idling on genshin impact for the past 20 minutes as columbina, because my partner wants to take cute pictures with me.” and “throwback to my partner sending me inappropriate letters on my work email that could easily get me fired.”. They clearly favor Intuition (N) over Sensing, frequently drawing broader patterns and analogies from specifics, such as likening serialized classics to modern fanfiction in “it is so amusing to me that dostoevsky, dickens, doyle… it is not so different from readers today waiting for fanfic writers to upload a new chapter on ao3.” and making meta-commentary on fandom morality in “being 'lowkey scared' of people because they can engage critically with fictional antagonists is not a moral high ground, it's intellectual insecurity. fiction is not a purity test…”. Their stance is strongly Thinking (T): they construct structured, often didactic arguments about media literacy and ethics—e.g. “claiming that fiction inherently normalizes behavior ignores decades of literary theory, media studies, and basic media literacy.” and “platonic sex is not a thing. the word 'platonic' literally means closeness without sexual involvement… calling sex platonic is a contradiction.”—and they routinely criticize others’ reasoning rather than appealing to shared feelings. They also present as Judging (J): they speak in definitive, principle-based terms about how people should behave—“thinking the world revolves around you and you have any sort of right to decide what people do with fictional characters is absolute insanity.”—and offer structured advice and clear strategies, as in “the most effective thing in situations like this is minimizing interaction as much as possible. people who harass and stalk thrive on reactions…”. Combining introspective focus, abstract pattern-seeking, analytical argumentation, and preference for clear principles and structure, INTJ fits their online persona best.

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Your new Twitter bio
27 • they/them • fiction writer & gothic horror enthusiast. Once got death threats over media literacy and went right back to farming gacha.– @crimsoncide

Your signature cocktail
A shadow-dark base of black vodka mirrors their gothic horror devotion and fondness for being called an "eldritch being" (“a twitter user called me an eldritch being who needs to be defeated, in a derogatory way. do not tell them i took it as a compliment.”). Blood orange liqueur adds a bittersweet crimson edge, evoking their love of powerful, lethal women and beautifully tragic tropes like a lover’s hand delivering the killing blow (“a character dying by their lover's hand will forever be the most devastatingly beautiful trope to exist.”, “the hottest thing a person can do is wield a sword.”). Smoked rosemary syrup brings in a ritualistic, almost sacramental note that nods to their sly religious and satanic aesthetics (“leaving it all behind and getting a job at a local catholic church.”, “yes, you are treading dangerously close to sin, wading through shadowed waters, flirting with the very flames of hell…”). A shot of cold brew coffee channels their sharp, relentless analytical energy and their refusal to bend in fandom discourse (“being 'lowkey scared' of people because they can engage critically with fictional antagonists is not a moral high ground, it's intellectual insecurity.”, “claiming that fiction inherently normalizes behavior ignores decades of literary theory, media studies, and basic media literacy.”). Finally, activated charcoal with edible silver shimmer makes the drink look like a starless void shot through with distant light, capturing both their gothic aesthetic and the way they and their partner carve out something tender and luminous in all the chaos (“my partner.”, “i've been idling on genshin impact for the past 20 minutes as columbina, because my partner wants to take cute pictures with me.”).

Your Hogwarts House
Their tweets show a consistent pattern of analytical thinking and love of theory, especially around media, fiction, and language. They break down fandom morality debates with almost essay-like clarity, e.g. explaining why being "lowkey scared" of people who engage critically with antagonists is actually about intellectual insecurity and media literacy in “being 'lowkey scared' of people because they can engage critically with fictional antagonists is not a moral high ground, it's intellectual insecurity. fiction is not a purity test…”. They demonstrate knowledge of literary history and structure by comparing serialized publication of Dostoevsky, Dickens, and Doyle to modern AO3 updates in “it is so amusing to me that dostoevsky, dickens, doyle, and so many authors published their works serially… it is not so different from readers today waiting for fanfic writers to upload a new chapter on ao3.”, and by recommending a glossary of writing and literature terms in “what you're looking for is basically a glossary of literary and writing terms… search up 'ulitus glossary of writing and literature terms'…”. Their interest in etymology and precise language use appears in “platonic sex is not a thing. the word 'platonic' literally means closeness without sexual involvement… calling sex platonic is a contradiction.”. Across multiple longform replies, they reference literary theory, media studies, and philosophical texts like The Satanic Bible in “claiming that fiction inherently normalizes behavior ignores decades of literary theory, media studies, and basic media literacy.” and “yes, i have read the satanic bible… it felt more like a collection of provocative ideas and theatrical rebellion than a deeply structured philosophy.”, signaling a strong Ravenclaw-esque commitment to learning and critical analysis. While they have the sharp tongue and self-preservation instincts of a Slytherin when dealing with harassment, their identity as a "pro fiction" thinker who enjoys dissecting themes, symbolism, and authorial intent in “i understand the urge to analyze media, i love doing it myself. i enjoy digging into themes, symbolism, structure, and authorial intent.” makes Ravenclaw the best overall fit.

Your movie

Your song
Thematically, Castle fits their gothic, defiant persona and fascination with power, morality, and being demonized by others. Their bio, “devotee of gothic horror and evil women,” and love for powerful, lethal women (“a weapon so massive, four men were needed to hold it, yet augusta lifts it with effortless grace. how i love powerful women.”, “a character dying by their lover's hand will forever be the most devastatingly beautiful trope to exist.”) mirror the song’s dark regal imagery. They are constantly under moral scrutiny from antis yet remain unbothered and intellectually combative, as seen in “being 'lowkey scared' of people because they can engage critically with fictional antagonists is not a moral high ground, it's intellectual insecurity.” and “claiming that fiction inherently normalizes behavior ignores decades of literary theory, media studies, and basic media literacy.”. Castle’s narrative of walking into hostile spaces with unapologetic confidence reflects their experience of receiving harassment and death threats while still standing their ground (“i received over a hundred death threats and got into a news article for merely speaking the truth. twitter is an incredible place.”). The song’s mix of grand, almost cinematic darkness and self-possessed power matches their gothic aesthetic, philosophical tone, and delight in being seen as an "eldritch" figure (“a twitter user called me an eldritch being who needs to be defeated, in a derogatory way. do not tell them i took it as a compliment.”).

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