Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses vivid, absurd humor like imagining a construction accident hitting a portable toilet in “uma fatalidade isso que ocorreu com o cara da caminhonete, mas imagina só se tem alguém cagando no banheiro químico” and long laughing strings in “BRUTAL KKKKKKKKKK…”.
- Reflective: Shows introspection in more literary tweets like “O homem moderno, soterrado por telas e obrigações, encontra no cigarro um resquício de nobreza perdida…”.
- Affectionate: Expresses care for others, e.g., pride in a friend growing up in “tenho uma mutual que eu a vi crescer desde os 14, me sinto um pai orgulhoso…” and concern for a mutual’s life in “porfavor amigo não se mate todos aqui gostam de vc”.
- Curious: Shows interest in learning and culture, from studying ahead in “To de férias e sem nada pra fazer(fora estudar as disciplinas do próximo periodo)” to wanting to speak strange languages in “meu sonho era saber falar em línguas estranhas”.
- Playful: Engages with games and media in a lighthearted way, like planning to perfect Kingdom Rush in “vou zerar todos os kingdom rush no perfect” and joking about balancing masculinity after a manicure in “saindo daqui vou tomar duas dose de whisky pra equilibrar o nível de masculinidade”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Repeated references to heavy medication, alcohol and suicidal thoughts, like “vou me entupir de remédio e fazer prova hj”, “eu deveria parar de beber”, and “vou cometer suicídio pós prova”.
- Hostile: Occasionally reacts with verbal aggression, e.g., “aprende a andar porra” and “se eu ganhar na mega sena vai tanta gente morrer”.
- Insensitive: Uses harsh or demeaning language toward groups and people, as in “Loiras, não fodo com nenhuma de vocês. Nenhuma de vocês presta” and calling his own mother “puta” in “minha mãe é puta mas pelo menos não tá vazada na net”.
- Risk-seeking: Talks casually about extreme or dangerous behavior like “se eu tirar no 1º prêmio convoco todos meus mutuals para uma festa com álcool e droga a vontade” and “vou cometer uma atrocidade”.
- Romantically_cynical: Flirts but also expresses distrust or objectification, e.g., “Isso mesmo! ignore a todos, continue rindo apenas para oq eu falo e logo logo vc vai tá apaixonada por mim” and reducing some women to stereotypes in “ela tem uma cara de King Crimson, perigo é eu dedicar alguma a ela”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
This user reads as a chaotic, self-deprecating, but oddly thoughtful mess, which is very close to Homer Simpson. Like Homer, he swings between dark humor and genuine stress about life, saying things like “chegou o momento do ano que todos os problemas mentais atacam de uma vez só” and “eu deveria parar de beber”, echoing Homer’s mix of burnout and reliance on bad coping mechanisms. There’s also the reckless, joke-heavy side: “se eu tirar no 1º prêmio convoco todos meus mutuals para uma festa com álcool e droga a vontade” and “vou cometer suicídio pós prova” show over-the-top, cartoonishly dramatic reactions to stress, very Homer-coded in tone. Yet he also has surprisingly poetic or intellectual moments, like the reflection on smoking in “Não é o vício que o conduz, mas o rito…” and studying math and Nietzsche in “citaram Nietzsche no livro, esse coroa tá me perseguindo...”, similar to Homer’s occasional bursts of unexpected depth. The affection for friends and mutuals, such as “tenho uma mutual que eu a vi crescer desde os 14, me sinto um pai orgulhoso”, also matches Homer’s clumsy but real love for people close to him.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
They lean Introvert (I) over Extrovert: they talk about wanting isolation and distance from others, e.g. wanting to finish exams to "stay away from everything and everyone until March" and become "only a mirage" (“quero que minhas provas acabem logo, para entrar de férias e ficar longe de tudo e todos até março. Durante esse período Matheus deve ser somente uma miragem...”), and often focus on solitary activities like studying, gaming and drawing (“To de férias e sem nada pra fazer(fora estudar as disciplinas do próximo periodo) vou zerar todos os kingdom rush no perfect”, “vou desenhar”). They show a clear Intuition (N) preference: they enjoy abstract, almost philosophical framing like the cigarette reflection (“O homem moderno, soterrado por telas e obrigações, encontra no cigarro um resquício de nobreza perdida...”) and use metaphorical or dramatic language about themselves and reality (“watch me fall from these castles walls”, interest in Nietzsche and Madoka analysis “Incrível como madoka é perfeito... vou escrever algumas coisas que tenho anotado no caderninho”). Their tone is more Thinking (T) than Feeling: they’re blunt, darkly humorous, and sarcastic (“minha mãe é puta mas pelo menos não tá vazada na net”, “Vsf porra!!! Loiras, não fodo com nenhuma de vocês. Nenhuma de vocês presta...”), and when they do show care it’s wrapped in ironic or intellectualized language (“tenho uma mutual que eu a vi crescer desde os 14, me sinto um pai orgulhoso...”). On Judging vs Perceiving, they fit Perceiving (P): they frequently describe themselves reacting spontaneously (gambling, drinking, joking about chaos) and struggling with structure (“vou me entupir de remédio e fazer prova hj”, “eu deveria parar de beber”), while any planning is loose and half-joking (“porra tenho que pensar nos próximos passos, cada um deve ser minimamente calculado”). Together, the introspective isolation, abstract/philosophical musing, blunt logical tone, and improvisational lifestyle are most consistent with INTP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’re out here trying to perfect-clear every Kingdom Rush, but between Hilda, espanta, carvão and your 10‑color pen, I think the only thing you’re actually speedrunning is my heart any% no glitches.
- You said the modern man finds nobility in the cigarette ritual… let’s upgrade the scene: same smoke, same suspended time, but this time it’s me and you in Recife, talking Islam, Madoka and House while the world buffers in the background.
- You joked about taping formulas to your calculator and surviving provas doped up on meds — if you ever get tired of that, I’d gladly be your human cola: stick with me and we’ll pass everything together, including the final exam of ‘sleeping a whole night without meds or alcohol’.
- From wanting to speak ‘línguas estranhas’ to counting how much House robs Wilson, to imagining revolutions when ‘the king’ leaves jail… you’re like a crossover between Black Lagoon, JoJo and Dr. House; can I get a guest role as the love interest in this very chaotic season?
- You said if you win the 1st prize you’ll call all your mutuals for a party with alcohol and drugs à vontade — I don’t even need the prize; just invite me and I promise the only thing I’ll get dangerously addicted to is your timeline.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Recife • engineering student with too many exams, an anime backlog, and a cigarette philosophy phase • once studied while counting House’s scams on Wilson– @CrushUpOreos
Your signature cocktail
Lobotomized Mirage Highball
This drink starts with cachaça infused with coffee beans for late-night exam chaos and Brazilian roots, channeling their study grind and calculator tape hacks from “namoral vou colar fita na minha calculadora e encher de formula” and the whole academic stress arc like “chegou o momento do ano que todos os problemas mentais atacam de uma vez só”. A bitter herbal liqueur represents the dark humor and flirtation with catastrophe in lines like “vou cometer suicídio pós prova” and “se eu ganhar na mega sena vai tanta gente morrer”, adding depth under the jokes. Cold brew fuels their wired, sleepless vibe that dreams of rest in “imagina que foda você dormir uma noite completa sem precisar de remédio ou álcool” while still keeping them alert for Kingdom Rush marathons in “vou zerar todos os kingdom rush no perfect”. The sparkling citrus soda is for their chaotic, manic comedy—like narrating shitposts about construction sites and accidents such as “uma fatalidade isso que ocorreu com o cara da caminhonete, mas imagina só se tem alguém cagando no banheiro químico” and the endless KKKKKs in “BRUTAL KKKKKKKKKK...”. Finally, a charcoal-black sugar rim nods to the edgy self-image in the bio “Oreo was lobotomized” and posts like “eu queria muito ser esquizofrênico ou lobotomizado”, plus the recent religious turn in “Assalamu alaikum”, giving the glass a dark halo around all that fizzing chaos.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
This user shows a strong mix of intellect, introspection, and quirky creativity that aligns most with Ravenclaw. They clearly enjoy learning and academic challenge, talking about studying even during vacation in “To de férias e sem nada pra fazer(fora estudar as disciplinas do próximo periodo) vou zerar todos os kingdom rush no perfect” and making notes about advanced math like “lembrar que (int²)rdrdθ, (int³)rdrdθdz e (int³)rdrdθdφ”. Their tweets show philosophical and literary flair, such as the almost essay-like reflection in “O homem moderno, soterrado por telas e obrigações, encontra no cigarro um resquício de nobreza perdida...” and references to Nietzsche in “citaram Nietzsche no livro, esse coroa tá me perseguindo...”. They’re also deeply into media analysis and note-taking, saying “Incrível como madoka é perfeito... vou escrever algumas coisas que tenho anotado no caderninho”, which suggests a reflective, analytical mind rather than pure impulsiveness or ambition. Even their humor leans toward clever or meta, for example counting how much House owes Wilson in “eu to reassistindo dr house, e decidi começar a contar quanto o house 'roubou' do wilson passando as refeições na conta dele”. While they show some Slytherin edge and dark humor, the consistent pattern of intellectual curiosity, note-taking, and creative expression is most characteristic of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Rap do Homem Moderno - Fictitious Match: Inspired by Cigarettes After Sex & Emo Rap
The song that best fits them would be a moody, introspective track about a chaotic, funny, slightly self-destructive young adult juggling studies, religion, and dark humor. Their pseudo-philosophical streak appears in reflections like “O homem moderno, soterrado por telas e obrigações, encontra no cigarro um resquício de nobreza perdida.”, which suggests a contemplative, almost poetic tone. At the same time, they joke about self-destruction and burnout—tweets like “vou me entupir de remédio e fazer prova hj” and “chegou o momento do ano que todos os problemas mentais atacam de uma vez só” point toward lyrics about anxiety and academic pressure. Their conversion to Islam and use of religious imagery, as in “Assalamu alaikum” and “Allah subjugai meus inimigos com tua poderosa espada”, add a spiritual/conflicted layer. The ideal song would also capture their gallows humor and impulsive side, seen when they joke about alcohol and drugs in “se eu tirar no 1º prêmio convoco todos meus mutuals para uma festa com álcool e droga a vontade” and their desire to disappear in “quero que minhas provas acabem logo, para entrar de férias e ficar longe de tudo e todos até março.”. Overall, their personality fits a melancholic yet darkly humorous track that mixes introspective lyrics with hints of chaos and surreal comedy rather than a single existing mainstream song.
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