Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Empathetic: Defends women and LGBTQ+ people, e.g. calling out men who ignore femicide and discrimination in “Everyday the men in this country will leave me baffled about what issues they bring up to diminish femicide” and supporting same‑sex relationships in “Why do yall care so much about other peoples relationships They not hurting anyone go away”.
- Socially aware: Critiques conservatism, misogyny, racism and hypocrisy, e.g. “Everyday on this app i just get shown that we are going fast down the road of conservatism again” and “Dude straight up lying there is no white genocide happening in South Africa😭”.
- Boundary-conscious: Calls out creepy behavior and stresses consent, e.g. “Doesnt matter online or irl you dont be weird to be people that doesnt consent to your weird remarks” and “Men that fetishise alt women always kill me… Just say they look cool man its not that hard”.
- Supportive: Shows pride and affection for friends and family, like praising a friend in “My 1 friend is literally so beautiful and amazimg id become her wife rn” and being proud of their nephew in “MY NEPHEW LIKES GURREN LAGAAN WE ARE SO UP”.
- Self-reflective: Reflects on their own past behavior and growth, e.g. “I remember being like this at like 15 I cant believe men older than that still acts like that like dude trust IT DONT WORK” and admitting confusion about relationships in “The more i see people talk about dating and relationships the more confused i be getting”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently uses aggressive phrasing, e.g. “Man shut the fuck up” and “So real ill tell them weird dudes to kill themselves IMMEDIATELY”.
- Violent rhetoric: Jokes or vents with extreme statements like “I wish i had the ability to just instakill all stupid people” and “I will kill myself”, which can be alarming even if hyperbolic.
- Online burnout: Regularly expresses frustration with the app and algorithm, e.g. “This app is so ass man i hate it here WHY DOES NOTHING WORK” and “This app making me become woker ngl😭”, suggesting the platform drains them.
- Sleep neglect: Openly describes severely disrupted sleep, such as “My sleep pattern is beyond fucked bruh” and staying up until sunrise in “Just looked to the window and saw the sun rising bro im COOKED”.
- Financial stress: Mentions money worries and impulsive spending feelings, e.g. “Just looked at my bank account Day ruined😔😭” and needing others to buy things like in “SOMEONE BUY ME”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson: thoughtful, politically aware, and often frustrated with how regressive or irrational people can be. They call out bigotry and reactionary politics, like pushing back on South African white-genocide myths in “Dude straight up lying there is no white genocide happening in South Africa😭” and criticizing rising conservatism in “Everyday on this app i just get shown that we are going fast down the road of conservatism again…”. Like Lisa, they have a strong moral compass and insist on consent and boundaries, as in “Doesnt matter online or irl you dont be weird to be people that doesnt consent to your weird remarks” and “Men that fetishise alt women… Just say they look cool man its not that hard”. They’re also openly reflective about identity and beliefs, admitting being agnostic in “Told my family im Agnostic and mfs spent the next few days telling me im Christian like bro no STFU” and questioning dating culture in “Alot of people are just scared of being alone so they rush into dating someone to fill the void”. At the same time, like Lisa’s more vulnerable, teen side, they’re self-aware, emotional, and a bit dramatic and jokey about their own struggles, seen in posts like “Rereading old verses i wrote deadass be making me wanna kms sometimes😭” and “This app making me become woker ngl😭”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they overshare internal thoughts, thirsts, and jokes very openly, enjoying interaction and validation rather than guarding their privacy, e.g. wondering how to DM people without getting ignored in “I need an in depth tutorial on how to dm yall🙏🏻😭 I fear saying hi and just getting aired” and openly asking oomfs for feedback in “Oomfs be honest do i give off gay”. Their focus is strongly Intuitive rather than concrete: they repeatedly zoom out to patterns in society, gender, and politics like “Everyday on this app i just get shown that we are going fast down the road of conservatism again” and “Alot of people are just scared of being alone so they rush into dating someone to fill the void”, which are abstract generalizations rather than sensory specifics. They are clearly Feeling-oriented: they argue from values and empathy (and anger when those values are violated), calling out injustice and harm in tweets like “Everyday the men in this country will leave me baffled about what issues they bring up to diminish femicide” and “Gay people thats also racist will never make sense to me”, prioritizing moral judgments over detached logic. Finally, they seem more Perceiving than Judging: their life and posting style feel spontaneous, impulsive, and unstructured—late nights like “Just looked to the window and saw the sun rising bro im COOKED”, chaotic sleep and finances in “My sleep pattern is beyond fucked bruh” and “Just looked at my bank account Day ruined😔😭”, and sudden emotional swings and rants rather than evidence of long-term planning or rigid structure. Taken together—highly social online, abstract and pattern-focused, emotionally and value-driven, and very go-with-the-flow—ENFP fits best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said December didn’t December this year, but if we hang out I promise we can make at least one night feel like ‘HOLY SHIT ITS DECEMBER I MUST GO GET DRUNK’ again.
- You’re out here wishing you were bi, getting told you sound like you’re about to rob someone, and attracting more men than women… if you ever wanna test that theory scientifically, I volunteer as the confused-but-curious lab partner.
- You said you only wanna learn to draw so you can make porn of characters that never get love — until then, I can give all that neglected affection to the artist instead of the artwork.
- Your nephew likes Gurren Lagann, you love music you don’t understand, and you’re defending women and queer folks every day — I don’t need a horoscope site to tell me you’re the kind of man I’d proudly call my main character.
- You burned noodles, have cursed wifi, a cooked sleep schedule, and a bank account that ruins your day — be so for real, we’re one mutual therapy session and a sushi buffet away from being the most relatable South African couple on this app.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
21 • he/him • ZA. Once burned noodles, still trusted with opinions. Talks games, politics & life online so my family doesn’t have to hear it.– @culm_muzzler
Your signature cocktail
The Agnostic Reply Guy Highball
Smoky mezcal brings a slightly chaotic, unfiltered kick, mirroring how they’ll say things like “I wish i had the ability to just instakill all stupid people” and “Man shut the fuck up” without sugarcoating. The rooibos-honey syrup nods to being South African 🇿🇦 and adds warmth beneath the attitude, fitting someone who proudly goes “This the most normal South African behaviour ngl😭” while clowning their own life. Fresh lime juice keeps it sharp and a little sour, like their skepticism in “Told my family im Agnostic and mfs spent the next few days telling me im Christian like bro no STFU” and constant side-eye at conservatives and weirdos. Chili bitters represent how quickly they’ll go from calm to calling out creeps — “So real ill tell them weird dudes to kill themselves IMMEDIATELY” and their whole crusade against pervy replies and hypocrisy. Topping it with ginger beer makes it fizzy, fun, and a bit chaotic, just like yelling “HOLY SHIT ITS DECEMBER I MUST GO GET DRUNK” while simultaneously overthinking relationships and wondering, “The more i see people talk about dating and relationships the more confused i be getting”. This is a strong, spicy, slightly sweet highball for someone who’s equal parts woke, exhausted, horny-on-main, and terminally online.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
They consistently show Gryffindor-style moral courage and a readiness to confront people directly. For example, they call out creepy behavior and emphasize accountability: “This is just a general thing for everyone as well… You are still that cause you are the actions you do” and criticize someone who blocked them instead of owning up: “just because you may not be a weird pervy dude irl doesnt mean you not a weirdo just because you are online”. They also publicly reject racist and reactionary narratives, like debunking white-genocide conspiracies in South Africa: “Dude straight up lying there is no white genocide happening in South Africa😭” and condemning people defending a rapist: “Yall fall so easy for evil people its so insane to me HE IS A RAPIST STOP IT”. Their instinct is to fight injustice rather than ignore it, as shown by lines like “So real ill tell them weird dudes to kill themselves IMMEDIATELY” and their frustration with misogyny and femicide apologia: “Everyday the men in this country will leave me baffled… how is a woman wanting you to pay for supper and being everyday paranoid you might get killed… the same at all”. While they have humor and introspection, the dominant pattern is outspoken, impulsive defense of others and strong, sometimes explosive reactions to injustice, which aligns most with Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
we fell in love in october - girl in red
The song we fell in love in october fits culm’s mix of introspection, queerness-adjacent vibes, and online melancholy. They balance chaotic humor with real emotional undercurrents, like rereading old work and feeling low: “Rereading old verses i wrote deadass be making me wanna kms sometimes😭”. Their timeline is full of romantic/relationship confusion and yearning, from “The more i see people talk about dating and relationships the more confused i be getting” to “I wish I was bi man” and “oomfs be honest do i give off gay,” all of which echoes the song’s queer, wistful tone. They clearly care about boundaries and being a decent person online, calling out creeps and fetishisation in tweets like “Men that fetishise alt women always kill me… Just say they look cool man its not that hard”, which aligns with the song’s softer, emotionally aware lens. And despite the cynicism about politics and society, their TL is filled with affection for friends, family, and little joys—much like how the song finds warmth and tenderness in small, intimate moments.
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